Tag Archives: New Year’s resolution for wives

Knowing Scripture: A Wife’s Goal for 2016

I’m a resolutions maker. Not always a resolutions keeper, but I find that even if I don’t meet my goals, I make far more progress when I aim for something rather than nothing.

Which is why in 2014, I set a goal and asked wives to join me in embracing happiness in their own lives. My sincere belief is that it’s hard to have a happy marriage when one of you is profoundly unhappy. And since no else can make you happy, you have to pursue happiness for yourself.

In 2015, I suggested it was time to stop simply talking about how we wives are beautiful, but rather learn what it means to feel beautiful. And I was thrilled to focus on that goal in the last few months of the year with amazing guest posts from other marriage bloggers.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about what is still lacking in my life — what would be a worthy goal for 2016. Actually, it didn’t take long to come up with what I want to do myself and encourage others to do in the New Year.


Knowing Scripture: A Wife's Goal for 2016

For some reason, I did far more of this in the past. I still recall memorizing John 3:16 and all of Psalm 23 in my childhood. And there are plenty of passages that someone in church will start reading and I can (fairly accurately) finish in my head.

I know the importance of being armed with the Word of God when facing challenges and meditating on Scripture to deepen my faith. But somehow, I’ve lost that drive to commit specific scriptures to memory. This year, I want to change that.

After all, memorizing scripture has several benefits:

Gives us discernment.

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Protects against temptation.

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

“Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165

“The law of their God is in their hearts; their feet do not slip.” Psalm 37:31

“We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.” Hebrews 2:1

Equips us for success.

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3

“But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” James 1:25

Gives us hope and joy.

“When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty.” Jeremiah 15:16

“Never take your word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in your laws.” Psalm 119:43

There are also plenty of scriptures commanding us to know God’s Word. Jesus Himself quoted from Deuteronomy when He said:

It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ” Matthew 4:4

Knowing specific scriptures reaps real benefits in our lives. And in our marriages.

Now I’m also a realistic resolutions maker. So when I first considered memorizing one scripture a week, I decided to cut that back. Not that I don’t want 52 verses buried in my heart, but I want to have a positive experience with this goal. For instance, if you resolve to lose 50 pounds this year, you might get so frustrated by April, you toss the whole resolution out the window and grab the Ben & Jerry’s. But if you make a realistic goal of 10 pounds, you can probably do that. Likewise, I’m aiming for one scripture per month.

Here on my blog, I’ll be sharing one scripture for your life and your marriage each week. I suggest you choose one and make that your month’s verse.

Some of the verses will come from my devotional book, Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage. This is the perfect time to pick up a copy and work through the devotions this year. You’ll get a deeper understanding of how these verses apply to your marriage and to sexual intimacy.

I’ll also have tips on how to memorize scripture and a few giveaways and downloadables to help you achieve this goal. It’s just 12 verses for the year — but that will be 12 verses you don’t have memorized now and will remember for many years to come.

I hope you’ll join me in 2016 to equip your life and marriage with the Word of God.

Feeling Beautiful: A Wife’s Goal for 2015

美容 女性For 2014, I suggested wives focus on being happy. I made it a personal goal to choose happiness as well, and despite frustrations, challenges, and some personal heartache, I had an overall happy year.

So what should we wives focus on in 2015?

Well, I attended a concert the Sunday after Christmas with my best friend, and her husband snapped a photo of the two of us beforehand. Later, when we each saw the picture, we praised how the other looked and pointed out flaws on ourselves. Good heavens! We looked fine — dare I say it? even beautiful — yet we were self-critiquing our own appearance.

My BF and I immediately decided that was enough of that, and we need to own our beauty in 2015. No more self-flagellation for perceived faults, but rather acceptance, care-taking, and confidence. And I’m making that same challenge to all of you wives out there: In 2015, we will learn to feel beautiful.

“How can I feel beautiful?” you ask. Let’s talk about how to embrace our beauty.

Speak positive words to ourselves. Self-talk matters. We can get so mad about mean things others say about us when we are often our own worst critics. Think about it: If someone said in person or on Facebook what you say to yourself at times about your own appearance, that would constitute cruel bullying, wouldn’t it? Stop bullying yourself.

Replace negative self-talk with positive words about who you are and who God made you to be. Find three to five things you really like about yourself (your eyes? your smile? your ankles? your “outty” belly button?) and focus on those in the mirror, reminding yourself of this unique beauty. Post or memorize scriptures that remind you of your value, like Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” (See also Song of Songs 2:1, Psalm 45:11, Psalm 139:13, Proverbs 31:10, Song of Songs 4:7.) Make it a goal to see yourself as God sees you — a beautiful woman created by Him.

Learn to accept compliments. We women have a terrible tendency to toss off compliments like they’re hot coals in our bare hands. Tell a woman she looks great in that dress? She’ll quite possibly respond: “Only because I’m wearing Spanx underneath” or “You look so much better in your dress.” We dismiss compliments as being mistakes in the eyes of the beholder, a comment of sympathy or courtesy, or a chance to show our “humility” by turning the compliment into self-deprecation.

Why do we do that? Let’s stop sloughing off compliments and learn graciousness instead. In fact, let’s actually believe the compliments. Your friend tells you that dress looks stunning? Stand taller and buy another of the same style. Your co-worker praises your fabulous new hairdo? Smile and say “thanks.” Your husband says you look sexy? Respond with a wink, “You bet I do!” Most people aren’t trying to lie to you about your appearance, so accept their compliments as sincere. We could use that kind of encouragement, if we’ll let ourselves accept it.

Take care of ourselves. It’s very hard to feel beautiful when you’re not taking care of yourself — when you know you’re neglecting your body. And it’s even harder to consistently commit to making the tough choices to care for your health. But we feel better about ourselves when we eat well, exercise regularly, groom properly, and make an effort with our hair, clothes, etc.

Let’s start this year out right by making some promises. Raise your hand and repeat after me: “I will take better care of my body. I will ditch the threadbare yoga pants and t-shirt in favor of just-as-comfortable tailored pants and a knit blouse. I will get a better haircut that can be styled in more ways than sticking a banana clip in my mess of hair. I will stop eating my children’s leftover French fries with the excuse that there are starving children somewhere in the world. I will pass the candy aisle and — if we’re going to be really good, ladies — the wine aisle at the grocery store and make a beeline for the produce section. I will walk, run, jump, or dance my way to a healthier heart and a better waistline. I will take care of this body God has gifted me.” Ouch, I was preaching to my own choir there. Guess I’ll have to move the clothes hanging off my elliptical machine and get busy.

Nurture our inner beauty. Let me tell you a little story. There was this guy at college who was so-so looking. But at one point, several of us girls had a conversation about how handsome he was and how every last one of us would go out with him if he asked. I don’t think this guy had any idea, or he might have been lining his calendar with dates. But the point is he’d gotten better and better looking the longer we knew him, because he was such a fabulous guy. Who he was inside showed through his outer appearance and made him a very attractive man.

And the point of the story is? Inner beauty matters. You’ve known people who got better looking or worse looking as you got to know them. The same is true with you. Indeed, the apostle Peter knew the prettiest woman was one with beauty inside: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3-4). Nothing wrong with being pretty on the outside, but your true beauty is about who you are.

It won’t do us any good to focus on outward appearance this year and pay little to no attention to fostering our inner beauty. Regardless of how fabulous we look on the outside, God looks at our heart (1 Samuel 16:7). Consider what character traits you should develop to be more beautiful inside. Is it patience? Gentleness? Hospitality? Joy? Aim to become more beautiful in the things that really matter.

Are you up for joining me in learning to feel beautiful in 2015? What suggestions do you have for achieving this goal?

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What does the Bible say about sexual intimacy?

Quite a lot actually. From marriage-specific scriptures to biblical principles, Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage guides Christian wives through weekly devotions that shed light on God’s gift of marital sex.

Each week includes a Bible passage, application, questions, and a prayer. These short devotions will deepen your understanding of God’s design of sexuality and encourage you toward a holier, happier, and hotter marriage.

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