It’s fairly common for husbands and wives to choose cutesy or sexy monikers for one another.  Looking up romantic nicknames online, I found everything from Angel Face to Yummy Pants (whose wife apparently hollers this when he walks through the door after work!).

For my own self, I have been known to get really creative and call my hubby — wait for it — “Love.”  Yep, that’s it.  Not exactly earth-shattering, eh?  However, it does sound better when I utter it with my British Beatles accent!

A friend recently informed me that she regularly calls her husband “Superman.”  I thought, Now there’s a happy hubby.  What guy wouldn’t like to be regularly reminded that he’s your ultimate hero!  Presumably, this guy looks good in a pair of tights and a cape too, but I refrained from asking about any accompanying role play in their bedroom.  That would be TMI.

Then I considered the opposite end:  You know, those couples who call each other Mama and Daddy — even when the children are not around or have grown up and moved out!  What is that about?  At the very least, add “Hot” in front of “Mama” and “Big” in front of “Daddy”!  Spice it up, baby!

So then I opened up my go-to book on all-things-sexy in the Bible:  Song of Songs, or Song of Solomon.  Sure enough, there they are!  The hubby refers to his lovely wife as My Bride (kallah) and Darling (ra’yah) several times over.  And the wife calls her husband Lover, or Beloved, (dowd) throughout — which, in my rudimentary biblical Hebrew research, I discovered could also be translated “love.”  (Whew! My boring choice looks better now.)

Of course, sappy pet names can go too far and make you look like romantic idiots if used in front of others.  Note Jerry Seinfeld’s “Schmoopy” girlfriend (or is it “Shmoopy”? I couldn’t figure that out).  If you haven’t seen it, here’s a peek that will make your brow furrow and your stomach cringe:

So when should you throw out a pet name for your honey?  How do you choose an appropriate one?

First of all, if you’re going all out with something more creative than Sweetheart or Dear, you might want to make it private.  Your kids don’t want you walking through the house summoning their father with, “Hey, Big Sausage Man!”  And your parents do not need to overhear hubby referring to you as “Tasty Treats” over the Thanksgiving meal.

Secondly, choose something that’s meaningful for the two of you.  If he took you to McDonald’s on your first date, maybe “Big Mac” is an appropriate lovey-dovey name.  (Although I really have to question his cheapskate attitude toward your courtship.)  More meaningful, though, are those names which encompass how you feel about the person.  Do you feel she is an undeserved blessing from above?  Then maybe she’s your Angel.  Do you think he’s unbelievably romantic?  Maybe he’s your Cyrano or Casanova.  Are her kisses absolutely delicious?  Maybe she’s Honey Lips.  Do you love the way his beard tickles against your cheek when he kisses you?  Maybe he’s Furry Face.

As you can tell, I’m probably not very good at this.  But I do defend calling my husband “Love”!  It encompasses how I feel about him.  As I have said before, no one is more surprised by the length of my monogamous relationship with my honey than I am.  He really is the one true love I’ve had in my life — the one that has lasted in spite of the ups and downs, twists and turns of life.  Wait!  That gives me an idea!  Maybe he’s my “Roller Coaster of Love”!  Wasn’t that a song?

Never mind.  Back to the drawing board.  What have you got?  What romantic nicknames do you use?  What do you think of pet names for your sweetheart in general?  Do they add to your sense of connection?  Do they liven up your sex life?

“My lover spoke and said to me, ‘Arise my darling,

my beautiful one, and come with me.'”

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