A lot of thought can go into what happens before or during sex. But have you given enough consideration to what you could or should do after a sexual encounter is over?

Here are 10 important things to do after sex with your beloved! You likely won’t cover them all in one encounter, but incorporating these can improve your experience and nurture your intimacy.

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1. Make Sure Your Spouse Is Finished.

Just because you’re done doesn’t mean your spouse is done. Make sure that your partner has had their orgasm(s) and/or felt the level of intimacy that sates their desire.

It’s more common for a husband to move on before his wife is really done, but it can happen the other way as well. Particularly as men age, they may need more or different stimulation after intercourse to finish. And remember, hubbies, that women are less likely to climax with intercourse, so be attentive to the kind of arousal and excitement she needs to reach her peak.

2. Snuggle and Nuzzle.

Get cozy, cuddle, caress, and calm your nerves and muscles. Bask in the glow of sexual satisfaction and marital intimacy.

You’re already pumped up with oxytoxin and dopamine—neurotransmitters that make you feel bonded and rewarded—but continued close contact keeps that going. Moreover, focusing not on arousal anymore but rather touch and closeness reminds you both that the sexual act isn’t just physical but emotional and relational.

3. Tell Your Spouse What They Mean To You.

To have intimate sex, we must be physically exposed and vulnerable with our spouse. Oftentimes, that’s matched by a willingness to be exposed and vulnerable with one another emotionally. Now could be just the time to tell your beloved just how much they mean to you.

Such expressions are a thread throughout the Song of Songs, as the husband and wife share profound and passionate words about their love:

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine; he browses among the lilies.

How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

Song of Songs 4:7, 6:3, 7:6, 8:6

What words could you use to tell your spouse how much they matter to you? Why is this person the one you are so glad to be intimate with?

4. Keep Your Senses Stimulated.

A friend recently told me that she and her husband listen to love songs after sex. What a lovely idea! Tapping into the sense of hearing, they extend the sensual experience with one another.

But you could use any of the five senses—hearing, smell, taste, sight, touch. Light a candle. Share a chocolate. Get a star projector and enjoy the galaxy on your ceiling. Grab satin or a feather and stroke one another.

Come up with your own ideas! I’m sure y’all have plenty.

5. Evaluate How It Went.

Not like a film critic! You’re not critiquing your spouse’s performance. But you can talk about what worked well and what didn’t. Need examples?

• “That angle felt really good.”
• “I’m not sure about that position. Maybe if we used a wedge pillow next time?”
• “I loved the way you kissed me for a while before we even got undressed. That’s a big turn-on.”

Especially if you tried something new or your sexual needs have changed, break it down so that you have good information for what does and doesn’t work going forward.

And if it went really well, feel free high-five each other. Well done, you!

6. Use the Loo (aka Potty).

This one’s mainly for the ladies! To avoid infection, gynecologists recommend urinating after sex. That helps to clear out the urethra and keep bacteria from entering and wreaking havoc.

How soon must you jump up and go pee? You don’t need to sprint there immediately after. Experts suggest within 30 minutes, but what’s ideal likely depends on how susceptible you are. You may be able to wait the full 30 minutes, or you might be better off slipping away 5-10 minutes after to go. You can always come back and snuggle after.

If you have ongoing issues with urinary tract or yeast infections, consult a doctor and see what else you can do. While most women will experience a few infections in the course of their marriage, it shouldn’t be a common occurrence. Do what you can to prevent it!

7. Clean up.

Sex can be messy. It’s not like the mess of your house being trashed; more like you had a fantastic party but need to put a few things away.

Before sex, you might have grabbed a towel and left it nearby; if so, use it to wipe up. You can also use feminine wipes or booty wipes for men, get a wet washcloth, or take a quick shower to tend to your private areas. If you used any toys, be sure to properly sanitize them before storing them.

The way you clean up can say something to your partner about the experience itself. If you treat the mess like it’s dirt—”ugh, get this off me!”—your mate may hear that you dislike the mess more than you liked the sex. What if, instead, you used this as an opportunity to extend affection, by getting the supplies your mate needs, by gently wiping him or her down, by jumping in the shower together for a quick wash? That conveys more togetherness and kindness.

8. Go to Sleep.

Several body chemicals released during orgasm—prolactin, vasopressin, oxytocin, and serotonin—are linked to sleepiness. So it’s no surprise that plenty of spouses fall asleep right after sex. Or it may not happen right away, but they sleep better after having sex.

We recently talked about this on our Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast! (Episode 110: The Sleep-Sex Connection)

So go ahead and get that extra-good sleep. If it’s stay daytime, take a short nap. Enjoy the beauty of falling asleep in one another’s arms.

9. Replenish with Food or Drink.

Not everyone feels sleepy after sex. It’s also common to feel hungry or thirsty. Sex doesn’t burn as many calories as we might like, but it does burn some. And staying hydrated is particularly important.

So get that glass of water, that mini candy bar or a scoop of ice cream, some fruit, or a handful of nuts. Whatever replenishes your energy, grab that food and/or drink and enjoy.

10. Say a Prayer of Gratitude.

That sexual encounter with your beloved was awesome! How about thanking the One who came up with the idea?

While you’re at it, thank God not only for the act of sex but for making it a pleasurable experience that draws us together, for the beauty and/or potency of your spouse, and the unity you physically and beyond.

See Praying Before, During, and After Sex and Are You Thankful for Sex?

The post 10 Things to Do After Sex appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

Way back in the 1970s, Englebert Humperdinck—yes, young people, that’s a real name—sang “After the Lovin’,” in which a man conveys the tender affection he feels for his beloved after they make love. Listening to those lyrics, it easy to think how wonderful that would be to experience with your husband.

Instead, what you often hear about is men simply rolling over afterward and falling asleep. That’s not true of everyone! But we should give some consideration to what happens “after the lovin’.” Because it provides yet another opportunity for a couple to bond.

So what does or should happen after you make love?

Spouses vary on what they desire, but it’s good to consider what can reinforce their sense of intimacy. Let’s start with a little primer about your brain.

This is your brain.

This is your brain on sex.

During sex (especially orgasm) and afterward, the brain releases the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin, which produce feelings of connectedness and contentment. Hello, soufflé!  We go to a happy place in our minds and hearts, and these chemicals are responsible for what scientists call “pair-bonding.” Pair-bonding is the glue of monogamy — that sense of you-and-me, we-belong-together, I-only-have-eyes-for-you. So it’s not surprising that after some good lovin’, our bodies may feel awash in satisfaction.

Which sometimes leads to…

Zzz … Sleepytime.

Some husbands, and some wives, do want to roll over and go to sleep immediately after sex. And it’s not usually because they want to be done with their spouse. Their bodies are exhausted and sated, and they feel so good and relaxed that it’s natural to slip into slumber.

Now this may not be a good idea if you’re married to someone who wants to chat or cuddle, but it is understandable. Of course, if you both want to journey into dreamland, knock yourselves out. (Not literally, of course; the sex will have done that for you.)

Snuggle Bunnies

Some couples love to extend their hands-on time with cuddling, stroking, etc. They fold their bodies together and snuggle like bunnies.

One typical post-sex position is spooning, in which one spouse is backed up against the other. But other embraces are common. What matters is the skin-to-skin contact that continues beyond lovemaking.

Indeed, that flesh-on-flesh also produces oxytocin and lowers the level of cortisol, a stress hormone, in your body. So it’s no surprise that snuggling is an outgrowth of sex for many couples. It keeps the bonding going.

Talk That Pillow Talk

The reduction of stress, the lowering of blood pressure, the release of oxytocin and endorphins, the general sense of closeness and well-being—all of these can contribute to more intimate conversation after sex. This is often referred to as “pillow talk.”

Your honey may drip words like honey—sweet nothings oozing from his mouth about how much he loves you, how beautiful you are, how awesome that felt, etc. Or the conversation may run deeper, one or both spouses desiring to reveal more of themselves now that they feel connected, vulnerable, safe. It’s also possible the excitement of sex just has you two chatting about this, that, or the other. Maybe you even crack a few private jokes, and this time he laughs at your brilliant sense of humor.

However it happens, the intimacy of sex can spill over into the verbal part of your relationship, expressed with some much-appreciated pillow talk.

I’m so hungry now!

Some of us get hungry afterward. Possibly even ravenous. A case of the munchies post-coitus is not uncommon. You might even crave something specific. Like a double-decker brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce. You can ignore the cravings or simply head to the kitchen for whatever will make those pangs of hunger go away.

If you don’t want to miss the other stuff—cuddling, talking, and eventually sleep—you can bring your food back to the bed. A few crumbs in the sheets won’t hurt. You were probably going to wash those sheets anyway, right?

Whatever you choose to do, consider your mate. Maybe you don’t feel the need to cuddle much, but a few minutes of snuggle time would mean so much to her. Maybe talking afterward doesn’t occur to you, but he needs you to listen and respond. Maybe you aren’t that hungry, but she could use a little help eating that double-decker brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Those moments right after sex can prolong the feelings of intimacy you experience in lovemaking. For many wives in particular, continuing to find ways to connect lets us know the lovemaking was about more than the physical release of sex and climax — that it truly is about becoming one flesh.

Now, it’s your turn: What do you do “after the lovin'”? How important is the time after sex to you and your spouse?

Other recommended articles on what happens after sex: Afterplay by Generous Husband and After the Act by Do Not Disturb

The post After the Lovin’: What Happens after Sex? appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.