In an effort to equip Christians with a lot of sexy ideas, I’ve compiled a list of 101 words for private areas, none of which are curse words or generally considered vulgar. Still, make sure your choices are okay with your specific mate!

Some words are scientific, some straightforward, some poetic, some funny. But the intent of this list is to inspire you to speak positively and creatively about your body and your spouse’s body.

I have a feeling this post will bring readers who don’t usually come to Hot, Holy & Humorous. If you’re one of those, you should know that I write for married couples and encourage you to check out what God says about sexual intimacy!

Breasts

A woman’s breasts includes fatty tissue, areolas, and nipples. Breasts come in various sizes and shapes, including athletic, bell-shaped, east-west, and round.

Whatever they look like, though, a woman’s breasts tend to be an erogenous zone for one or both spouses. As Proverbs 5:19 says to a husband about his wife: “May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”

Here’s a variety of ways to refer to a wife’s breasts:

1. bon bons
2. boobs
3. bosom
4. bust
5. chest
6. chesticles / breasticles
7. chi chis
8. coconuts
9. cookies
10. cupcakes
11. fawns
12. fruit
13. the girls
14. Grand Tetons (or another mountain reference)
15. lady humps
16. lovelies
17. mangoes (from Bend It Like Beckham)
18. nipples
19. pillows
20. rack
21. second base
22. tatas
23. taters
24. twins
25. yabos (from Hocus Pocus)

Vulva

Vulva refers to all the external female genitalia, including the pubic mound, labia majora, labia minora, clitoral bulb, vaginal opening, and Bartholin’s gland ducts (pea-sized openings where secretions emerge).

Song of Songs seems to prefer the word “garden” in reference to the wife’s vulva, but below are many options.

26. bajingo
27. bud
28. cave of mysteries
29. clitoris
30. cookie
31. core
32. flower (also rose, tulip)
33. folds
34. garden
35. honey pot
36. hooha
37. kitty
38. lady bits
39. (vaginal) lips
40. magician’s hat (his part disappears inside)
41. muffin
42. nub
43. papaya
44. petals
45. sheath
46. sweet spot
47. tunnel of love / love tunnel
48. vagina
49. vajayjay
50. velvet glove

Penis

The penis is a fascinating body part. The more one learns about it, the more one appreciates God’s creation. (See Are You a Fan of Your Husband’s Man-Part?)

Given how many labels men have come up with for this (favorite) body part they own, this probably could have been a post with 101 words for penis. But we’ll stick to the ones below.

51. boner
52. erection
53. Excalibur (yes, like King Arthur’s legendary sword)
54. fire hose
55. hard-on
56. head
57. hot dog
58. johnson
59. joystick
60. love muscle
61. love pistol
62. man-part
63. member
64. Mr. Happy
65. mushroom (especially for a circumcised penis)
66. pecker
67. peter
68. phallus
69. popsicle (see my own post on this!)
70. rocket
71. rod
72. sausage
73. snake
74. soldier (or hey, general!)
75. stiffy
76. tool
77. trouser monkey
78. wand
79. weenie / wiener
80. willy
81. wood

Testicles

Having raised two sons, I’ve also heard a lot of names for testicles. (You moms of boys know what I’m talking about!) These delicate semen factories get lots of labels as well.

Here are some options for what to call hubby’s testicles:

82. balls
83. berries
84. cojones
85. dangling participles
86. fruit basket
87. gonads
88. huevos (Spanish for “eggs”)
89. jewels (or family jewels)
90. junk
91. marbles
92. nards
93. nuts
94. package
95. pearls
96. rocks
97. sack
98. scrotum
99. stones
100. testes
101. wonkas (apparently because they’re between a willy and a chocolate factory)

Okay, that wraps it up! Be sure to check these out with your spouse! We should show respect for one another in the bedroom.

If you want, you can download a checklist. Fill out one checklist together or print two copies, fill them out separately, and then share your results.

A big thank you to the ladies in my higher drive wife group who made great suggestions, many of which are included here.

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