Completely agree with your take in this thread, a nony.

And B, you’re not alone. We (and one of our admins is a woman) have on our platform many women who are in your shoes, who would roll their eyes at some of the generalization that are made regarding women that seem to “silo them” into certain categories.

hi B,
I was sad to read your post! I’m not married anymore, but wish I had seen this blog when I was married!
have you tried “mixing it up a little, positions, locations, fantasies, “playing’? just a thought! apparantly some men like a lot of variety- it could spice up your love life! (did you know there are almost 400 different positions?- 100+ w/ slight variations- according to the internet?)
E.

thank you! that explains A LOT!

I understand how you feel. I am a man, so maybe it doesn’t affect my self image quite as intensely. But a steady frequency of once per month for several years has been very, very difficult. I can say with near certainty that it has nothing to do with your attractiveness. It sounds like you stay in good shape. I know it’s hard.
Like you I sometimes find myself reading comments from wives like you and think, it seems so cruel that there are women with high drives and why couldn’t I have married one of THEM. I understand completely, but this is a dangerous pattern of thinking.
We may never know why we endure this struggle. Good luck. I hope you and your husband can find a solution.

Your absolutely right. God made women to think and desire sex even more so than men. I don’t understand why society denies us women this fact. Why is society threatened by highly sexed women?!

I think God is using this. To show your toxic thinking patterns.

What is it that makes you so desperate to be “normal”. Why do you think your life would be so much better if…? You know, that is the start of a never ending spiral. Say your husband does initiate once a month, then you’ll just say “if only he initiated every week”, if he were to do that you can just say “if only he initiated every day” or twice a day. Do you see what I’m saying? There is no end. It’s one of Satan’s insidious traps. There is always more. There is always that one thing that can keep you from contentment, or joy, or gratitude or having healthy self-worth. There is no “if only this” that will fix your life. Only Jesus can do that.

Look, I’m not saying you shouldn’t want to work on your marriage. I’m not saying your feelings are not real or not valid and painful. What I am seeing though is that you are deliberately choosing wrong, false, toxic thoughts and stewing in them. What if you saw this article and thought “oh maybe this is how my husband works. Maybe his drive is reactive. What can this mean for our marriage” or “oh maybe my friend needs this information” or “oh this is a cool article, lets check this Sheila woman out” or “this is of no use to me, moving along”. Instead your thoughts are “see, this proves I’m ugly and awful and my husband hates me” even though YOUR HUSBAND has told you this is not the case. Can you see how you are making this much worse than it needs to be?

Ultimately, if you don’t learn to control your mind, you will never be happy. No matter what. There is always a cloud to the silver lining. There is always something you can grab on to, to prove to yourself that you are inferior or ugly or bad or unloved. This is exactly what Satan wants. You cannot help others when you are perpetually trapped in misery. Ask me how I know.

2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

This is but a small sample of scripture concerned with your thoughts. Why do you think God cares about this?

Praying for you