Thanks, Debi!

I’m sure if my spouse and I had been through credible pre-marriage counseling before we got married, we would’ve skipped over the 1st and 2nd colliding alternatives and found the mutually soothing alternative, much sooner than we did, for the first 30 years of marriage.

Better late than never.

The glasses in the cabinet metaphor, is humorous. But to have thought provoking dialogue with a spouse to agree way in advance to avoid sparring but instead to embrace one another’s sensitivities, where both are communicating in a way that both can see where the other is coming from, like they are going in and out one another;s mind like a revolving door, can cause the clothes to fall off.

Aw, thank you! Glad it touched you.

One of my pet peeves about other people is the attitude that “if it’s not a problem for ME, then it’s not a problem.” It occurred to me one day that I might be guilty of the attitude myself, particularly in regard to my and my husband’s sex life as I was not especially motivated to improve it even though we’re great friends. I started trying to encourage him in certain areas and looking for ways to make him feel more “manly”, and while things still aren’t perfect they’re better than what they used to be (I think).

I can’t offer any suggestions on how to “change” your wife, except perhaps to consider areas that are important to her that you might have neglected because they’re not high on your own priority list. Who knows…they say that sex begins in the kitchen!