Comments on: About Me

By: J

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 16:53:37 +0000

In reply to Debbie. Thanks for sharing. Praying for you right now, Debbie! So glad you two are talking and pursuing God's design for sex in marriage. Blessings!

By: Debbie

Debbie — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 06:31:09 +0000

Thank you for this blog. I came across it when a guy I’m dating started talking to me about his sexual fantasies. Mind you, we are waiting for marriage because we are putting God first. We have been together for 10 months, no sex. But Satan got in somehow. Desires of past porn images were flooding my bethrothed’s mind to the point he felt the need to ask God to make his heart stop beating. He asked me if I would make his fantasy of being with another man in front of him come true. Both of us were very sexually immoral in our lives (before we met eachother) before turning them over to the Lord. We started the relationship knowing sex is absolutely amazing, but it is God’s gift to be shared in marriage. Never mind our past rendezvous. We are new creatures. We are doing it God’s way. So you can imagine the pain he and I both experienced having these recent talks. At one point he said if the urge cane too strong, he would break up with me, in order to not make me sin. I told him that is not the answer and I want to work through this with him. I read your blog on cockholding and it was great. I read him some parts but I am sending it to him as well. God was telling me not to play into this fantasy. That it was deception and it would destroy us. I told my betrothed that Satan is a liar and is making it seem like sex would somehow be greater than God’s way and I told him no way. It all ends bad. Satan’s only plan is to destroy a couple that wants to put God first and foremost. So I hope he receives this blog post well. I love your site. I want to share more with him. Thank you for having the courage to talk about things people are too uncomfortable to talk about. Pray for us. Thank you again for your ministry. Keep up the good work. You are saving relationships and marriages. 🙂

By: Sonia

Sonia — Wed, 22 Aug 2018 19:20:51 +0000

Finally, someone shares the truth, about sex in the marriage bed. My husband has been so patient with me. Married for 35 years because I constantly read articles that state you can’t do this or that because it is perversion. He has shared so many scriptures, but I have always listened to pastors or other godly counsel. The way you explained it sounds so harmonious, and holy like you stated. We have had a wonderful sex life, but I always feel so sinful afterwards. Now I can completely allow our marriage bed to be how God designed it ! I am sure my husband will be relieved as well.

By: Wayne

Wayne — Sun, 18 Jun 2017 00:18:48 +0000

Ah!….don’t like to get it mixed up like that, and thought I had double checked which degree was which. And I work in a records department. So noted! 🙂

By: J

Sat, 17 Jun 2017 03:02:21 +0000

In reply to Wayne. Actually, my bachelor's is in history, with an emphasis on church history, and my master's is in counseling. Thanks for your encouraging words!

By: Wayne

Wayne — Fri, 16 Jun 2017 22:17:04 +0000

Hi again, J, I’ve been dropping by for comments lately, but felt…moved?…led?… probably both…to refresh on your bio again. I was particularly pleased to see what I’d apparently missed, that you have a master’s in history with an emphasis on church history. If and when you have opportunity, I would love to hear more and share thoughts – obviously there is a whole lot to cover. I have a deep interest in history and how things got to where they are, plus first hand experience or knowledge of every school system type in North America. The result of moving around a lot with my academic parents. I do have an associates in cartography with a certificate in community planning, wholly unrelated to a 21 year career, and one of my more rigorous teachers always emphasized the link between history and geography. I didn’t grow up in church, so any knowledge of church history came later.

I know that this is off topic for this site, but to bring it back around and in closing, I caught what you said about cultures tending to swing wildly between extremes of legalism and permissiveness, without checking your exact wording as I type this – and I couldn’t agree more. Especially when it comes to sexuality and talking about it. So….just some more thoughts.

I think your site lives up to it’s name pretty well. Blessings.

By: Todd

Todd — Wed, 16 Nov 2016 14:05:47 +0000

In reply to JP. JP - sounds like you blame your husband for alot of your pain but your pain is something that you experience. To make an apt anology, if you bump your leg on a chair you feel the pain because of what goe's on in your leg, not from what goes on in the chair. I would advise you to pray for wisdom to understand and face your pain. After you do that, listen to your intuition because that is how God will speak to you.

By: Calandra

Calandra — Wed, 19 Oct 2016 05:07:02 +0000

Thank you for obeying God’s prompting! And hello from Pearland!

By: JP

JP — Sat, 17 Sep 2016 17:36:43 +0000

This is the best article/answer I have ever read on the subject of spousal sexual refusal. The last time my husband was willing to have sex with me was July, 1995. I have suffered in exactly the way you describe. I am still trying to find happiness in my marriage. Several attempts at counseling, threat of divorce, in 2006, I even told my husband I would file for legal separation and begin dating if he didn’t get help. He did nothing at all for 6 months afterward, so I began spending my time away from the home, enjoying former athletic activities and friends. I met someone else quite by accident and what began as a friendship, ended in an open affair. I was discreet, but open with my husband the marriage was over. Due to financial hardship he asked me to maintain one household for 3 more years, although living separate lives entirely. I never wanted this situation at ALL! I wanted my husband to want me! But nothing worked and he refused to discuss it. During this period, he sought personal counseling. He begged me to give him another chance and in 2010, I broke off the other relationship to give my husband another chance. I joined him in counseling, but ZERO progress was made with my husband basically stonewalling the sessions. The counselor said I needed to give him TIME. Now it’s 2016. I am now 63 years old and TOO OLD (and physically not well), to get a divorce. A divorce would also lessen my children’s inheritance, since my husband is not their bio dad. I am STILL suffering and I’m struggling to know if God would forgive masterbation in my case?
Although I was honest with my husband throughout, I know I was wrong to go outside my marriage in 2006. I was so lost and lonely. This was the one infidelity and was hurtful and unfair, to all involved. I wish my husband understood my pain.

By: J

Fri, 08 Jul 2016 17:14:11 +0000

In reply to Concepcion Ledezma. Thanks for the encouragement.