Comments for Hot, Holy & Humorous

Comment on 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them) by J

Sun, 02 Aug 2026 22:09:41 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. I don't know about "awesome," but you're very welcome!

Comment on 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them) by Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 02 Aug 2026 18:49:15 +0000

In reply to J. J, Thanks so much! You're awesome

Comment on 40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband by J

Fri, 31 Jul 2026 15:58:52 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. It's common for wives to struggle to initiate, especially those from conservative backgrounds. That's why I originally wrote the post. But once in 9 years doesn't strike me as merely discomfort, but something deeper. If I could talk to her, I'd be asking open-ended questions like: • Do you ever want sex before your husband initiates? • What did you learn about women who come on to men? And if the follow-up question is warranted... Do you think that's also true for wives and husbands? • Let's imagine you are going to initiate sex with your husband. Think about that for a minute. (pause) Now tell me, what's happening in your body right now? Are you relaxed or tense? What's going on? Anyway, I'd follow where her answers lead and try to get to what's underlying her resistance. You may or may not be able to do the same. But it would be useful, I believe, for someone to have emotionally safe discussions with her about what's going on. You're both missing out.

Comment on 40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband by Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 31 Jul 2026 04:41:26 +0000

You have many awesome ideas in this post. However, my wife has told me that she is uncomfortable with initiating sex (she initiates, on the average, once every 9 years). In your experience as a sex blogger, do you find this typical among very conservative Christian wives?

Comment on 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them) by J

Wed, 29 Jul 2026 13:22:29 +0000

In reply to Jilly Bean. That's a great point, and not at all controversial with me! One of the most eye-opening books I've ever read is This is Your Brain on Birth Control by Sarah E. Hill, and I'm astounded that the main approach to women is still just messing with our hormones. Yes, it's fine for some women, but not for others. We should at least be made more aware of the trade-offs!

Comment on 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them) by Jilly Bean

Jilly Bean — Wed, 29 Jul 2026 03:21:42 +0000

I’d love to propose an additional reason that’s both controversial but not nearly talked about enough and that’s Hormonal Contraceptives.
I’m speaking as a woman who have been on various types of hormonal and I’ve come off of them in a controlled environment (no other factors to contribute line weight fluctuations. Other meds, etc.).
Without a doubt, the pill had me in a fog and my libido so low that it truly caused issues in my marriage. The pill dampened my desire, I never felt aroused, I simply went along w my husband but never initiated. Once I came off and hormones fully regulated, I felt the fig lift, I no longer had pain, I started to feel desire. One of the craziest “side effects” of stopping the pill was I no longer wince at the idea of him finishing in my mouth. I actually enjoy it. I have made it my mission to share this with as many people as I can in hopes of helping other marriages survive and thrive .

Comment on 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them) by J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:26:33 +0000

In reply to A S. You might check out the posts I have on having sex with kids in the home, such as Q&A with J: Avoiding Sex Because the Kids Can Hear or Making Love When You Have Teens in the Home. But I suspect you have unique challenges with special needs children, an area where I don't have experience or insights. However, marriage pastor and author Kevin A. Thompson does. You might check out his resources and/or contact him.

Comment on Get to the Root of Your Sex Problem with the 5 Whys by J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:17:45 +0000

In reply to Hannah U. Honestly, if you can't figure it out on your own, I suggest therapy. Your husband might want to find someone who can help him sort through it all. If you don't have in-person resources, I recommend Brad Aldrich of Aldrich Ministries Coaching Network. He works with guys a lot and is great at getting to the core issues.

Comment on 6 Reasons Why Sex Isn’t Happening in Your Marriage (and How to Address Them) by J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:15:42 +0000

In reply to Anonymous.

On one hand, I think it’s okay, because you’re not depriving your marriage of that sexual energy and your wife knows about it. On the other hand, this is nowhere near ideal. It’s not good for your marriage to be without sexual intimacy for so long, and your wife is missing out (even if she might not feel like she is). A better approach would be to address those post-menopausal and chronic illness issues the best y’all can, but of course, that calls for her cooperation. Even if you continue taking care of your “needs,” it would be good to keep trying to get her on board and figure out how to move from this not-so-great situation to one that provides the intimate bonding a sexual relationship can provide husband and wife.

And for blogs/suggestions, I’d point you to this blog post from me: Masturbation: Hands On or Hands Off?. And this podcast episode: https://forchristianwives.com/episode-212-what-about-masturbation/. That might help you sort out your thoughts on this issue.

Comment on 40 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Husband by J

Tue, 28 Jul 2026 20:10:36 +0000

In reply to Anonymous. LOL! Maybe I should do the 69 Ways for the guys.