Ah, the kiss!  That brilliant invention of our Creator that makes us check our breath, cock our heads, plant a big wet one, and hunger for one more.  Plenty of Christians writing about sex believe that the orgasm is proof that our Creator designed mating for pleasure.  While I agree, I would add that the kiss is an excellent ingredient as well.  Kisses are not required for reproduction.  So what is their point?

In my last two posts, I talked about how we need to focus on kissing and some different types of kissing.  Finally, here are a few tips for fantastic, fun-filled, fabulous, frisky, frenzied kissing.  (I got carried away with alliteration.)

Your breath.  It matters.  By the way, you are the last person to know whether you are experiencing a bout of halitosis.  It’s funny how we breathe onto our palms, sniff them, and expect that to tell us something.  Do you smell your own sweat when you’ve been excessively exercising?  Do your kids recognize when they have foot odor?  No.  Your breath will just smell like your breath to you, unless you make it smell minty or yummy.  Toothpaste, mints, mouthwash — these are our friends.  Use them.  Especially if you just ate something that has an intense taste or aroma.

Lips.  Loose lips sink ships and communicate, “I can’t be bothered to pucker.”  Tight lips indicate a controlling personality or anxiety.  Relax your lips, but shape them so that they can be easily kissed.

Tongue.  My worst kisser had a twelve-foot tongue.  Okay, maybe not.  But he used it like a boa constrictor invading my mouth.  If you’re not sure how to use your tongue in an open-mouthed kiss, think of the word “tease.”  Tease your spouse with your tongue.  When full passion arrives, you can twist your tongues together to your heart’s delight, but remember that it still shouldn’t fill their entire mouth.

Hands.  Where you place your hands is important.  Kissing without touching can feel impersonal.  And immediately grabbing bums or private parts when going in for the smooch is not romantic.  As your lips caress his/her lips, your hands should caress as well.  You may caress shoulders, arms, back, hair, and face.  You can also use your hands to draw your partner in or gently position them at a better angle.

Eyes.  Open or closed?  I’m not a stickler on this one.  But I know some people think it’s weird to be watched at such a close distance while being kissed, so they prefer closed.  For some people also, it helps them to concentrate on the sensation of the kiss if they block out visual stimuli.

Remember that kissing can be enjoyed for its own beauty or can lead to something else.  I wish I could do a quick survey and ask wives if they feel their husbands kiss them often enough without expecting further sexual activity.  My prediction would be that many wives would say no.

But if you doubt the wonderful gift of kissing from God, try it out for a while in your marriage.  Jim Burns of the Homeword radio show suggests that married couples take time to have a 15-second kiss every day.  That might have a glorious effect on many couples — just returning to the courtship of kissing.

My bet is that it would also result in more bedroom activity as well.

How do you incorporate kissing into your marriage?  Do you kiss as often as you would like?  What tips would you give someone to master a perfect kiss?

To conclude my kissing series, here’s one last poem that appeals greatly to both the writer and the lover in me:

May I print a kiss on your lips?” I said,
And she nodded her full permission:
So we went to press and I rather guess
We printed a full edition.

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As I considered writing a blog post about kissing, I started doing some research (and, I’ll admit, a case study with my hubby).  What I discovered is this:  The beautiful act of two married people bringing their lips together in a kiss cannot sufficiently be addressed in a single post!

Thus, welcome to my three-part series on the ever-popular kiss.

Songs have been written about it.  Have you heard the following?

• Kiss Me from Sixpence None the Richer
• This Kiss by Faith Hill
• Passionate Kisses by Mary Chapin Carpenter
• Kiss by Prince & the Revolution
• Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not? by Thompson Square
• A Kiss to Build a Dream On by Louis Armstrong
• The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss) by Betty Everett
• Bésame Mucho by [take your pick]
• Kiss by Dean Martin

I’m sure you could add to my brief list.

Poetry has been composed.  Take Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s poem “I Love You”:

I love your lips when they’re wet with wine
And red with a wild desire;
I love your eyes when the love light lies
Lit with a passionate fire.
I love your arms when the warm white flesh
Touches mine in a fond embrace;
I love your hair when the strands enmesh
Your kisses against my face.

And Poet Robert Herrick wrote:

Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score;
Then to that twenty, add a hundred more;
A thousand to that hundred; so kiss on,
To make that thousand up a million;
Treble that million, and when that is done,
Let’s kiss afresh, as when we first begun.

Alfred Lord Tennyson declared:

A man had given all other bliss,
And all his worldly worth for this,
To waste his whole heart in one kiss
Upon her perfect lips.

And my personal favorite is from Edmund Vance Cooke:

Kisses kept are wasted;
Love is to be tasted.
There are some you love, I know;
Be not loathe to tell them so.
Lips go dry and eyes grow wet
Waiting to be warmly met.
Keep them not in waiting yet;
Kisses kept are wasted. 

There is, of course, the classic movie kiss.  For instance, Scarlett and Rhett from Gone with the Wind or Ilsa and Rick from Casablanca.  If you want some reminding, here’s a video to stir up the memories.

Of course, there have been plenty of famous Hollywood kisses since those times.  Did you catch Lady & the Tramp kissing after a shared spaghetti noodle? Mary Jane planting a kiss on Spiderman as he hangs upside down? Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslet kissing on the prow of the Titanic?  (If I must admit my own preferences, may I say that Casablanca, Spiderman, Sleeping Beauty, and absolutely any time Cary Grant kisses anyone in a film are my favorites.)

Let’s face it.  We can get a little obsessed about kissing.  Think about the trepidation that preceded your first kiss.  How you felt in that moment of your first kiss with your spouse.  Whether you pecked each other at the wedding or slurped each others’ faces to the near embarrassment of the wedding party and witnesses.  The tender kisses that formed the prelude to your first night together.

Who doesn’t store up memories of their best kisses or long for the perfect, passionate kiss with their beloved?

But while we can get obsessed about kissing, sometimes after the I do’s we get complacent about kissing.  I mean really, you have kissed this person a million different times in a million different ways.  Is there anything left about their mouth to discover?

Well, today’s kissing lesson is brief one.  It comes with homework!  See if you can discover something about your kissing your spouse that you haven’t noticed in a while.  Kiss him or her passionately for several seconds (10-15) and think about the physical sensations of kissing.

And then share what you’ve discovered.  

Next week, come back for some tips about the different kinds of kisses and what they mean for you and your honey.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—

for your love is more delightful than wine.”

Song of Solomon 1:2

Kiss Me

Kiss Me

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