Valentine’s Day is coming up! If you and/or your spouse enjoy commemorating this day, you need to decide on what you’ll do to celebrate. But what if you don’t have a lot of money to spend?

No worries! Here are five FREE Valentine’s gifts you can give your spouse.

1. Full-body massage

Our bodies love touch, and there’s something so wonderful about your spouse soothing your tight muscles with their hands.

Now, if you want to make this a real Valentine’s treat for all involved, remember: The higher drive spouse wants it to lead to sex; the lower drive spouse just wants a massage.

I’m not saying the lower-drive spouse won’t be responsive to the idea of sex on Valentine’s, but if they feel the whole time like you’re only giving the massage to get sex, it won’t be enjoyable. So focus on the massage for the time being, and make your sexual advances separate from that experience.

If you want to present a gift certificate for the massage, Canva has a bunch of templates you can use; although mostly tailored to businesses, they can easily be adapted to a massage for your spouse.

2. Clean house

I know that doesn’t sound romantic, but if you listened to our Christmas episode from the Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast, you heard Gaye of Calm.Healthy.Sexy. say that one year the only gift she really wanted was a clean house. And I guarantee a large number of wives were nodding their heads, fully understanding that desire.

But it’s not just wives. In some couples, the husband is more of a neatnik.

If your spouse is  stressed by the mess, it’s a relief and a gift for them to have a clean house. Take a day or more off and focus on decluttering, deep cleaning, and/or decorating your home. Make it a space that feels welcoming and peaceful. And be sure to attend to the bedroom, creating a place conducive to lovemaking.

3. Love letter

Words are powerful. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Your words could be sweet to your spouse’s soul and healing to their bones. Why not put your words in a love letter, to be kept and cherished?

If you don’t know how to write a love letter, I have a section in my book, Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design, simply titled: “How to Write a Love Letter.” Yep, I walk you through the components of a good love letter and give examples. You don’t have to be Shakespeare to write something your spouse will treasure for years. Just learn these tips, and you can write a letter your spouse will love getting for Valentine’s Day.

4. Homemade meal

If you don’t usually cook, be the one to prepare dinner. If you’re not much of a cook, choose something you can’t screw up, or find a simple recipe and follow it to the letter. Videos with a cooking demonstration can be particularly helpful.

If cooking is a shared activity or you typically get meals ready, how about breakfast in bed? Make sure you have a tray on which to serve the food so it’s easy for your spouse to eat. (Unless you’re planning to eat off each other…)

And consider presentation! When you go through Taco Bell, they shove your paper-wrapped burrito into a sack and hold it out the window to you. But when you go to a fancy restaurant, the chef displays the meal on a gleaming white plate with everything arranged perfectly and a garnish on the side. Give your spouse the fancy treatment, as much as you can (search “plating” on YouTube for ideas).

5. Sex

C’mon, you knew I had to say it. Sex is a shared activity that provides fun and pleasure, expresses love, and is free! It’s the gift God gave marriage that we re-gift to each other again and again.

But then how do you make this sexual experience feel special, worthy of qualifying as a Valentine’s Day gift? Try one or more of these:

• Create a romantic atmosphere, using tools like candles, flower petals, aromas, etc.
• Try something different or new. Again, my book has a lot of tips!
• Play a bedroom game, like Ultimate Intimacy or Sexy Truth or Dare.
• Have sex their way, putting the focus on your spouse’s enjoyment.
• Lengthen the time you’ll make love, drawing out pleasure with exploration and foreplay.

There you go. Five freebies for your Valentine’s Day.

For other gift ideas, check out:

13 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts from Your Grocery Store
7 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts You Can Make
“Go Big” Valentine’s Gifts for Your Spouse
8 Cool Valentine’s Gifts for Your Hot Hubby
8 Sweet Valentine’s Gifts for Your Spicy Wife

And remember, you can always gift one of my not-free-but-really-inexpensive books! On sale only through Valentine’s Day.

The post 5 FREE Valentine’s Gifts for Your Spouse appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

What to Get Your Husband for V-Day
13 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts from Your Grocery Store
7 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts You Can Make
“Go Big” Valentine’s Gifts for Your Spouse
8 Cool Valentine’s Gifts for Your Hot Hubby
8 Sweet Valentine’s Gifts for Your Spicy Wife
Valentine’s Day for the Rest of Us

But whether your marriage involves exchanging gifts or blowing off the whole holiday, I’ve got seven romantic things you should say to your husband (or wife) on Valentine’s Day. Or some day soon. Here they are.

1. You are attractive to me. It’s uncommon that one spouse has no attraction whatsoever to the person they married. So I’d guess that 99% of you can say this one without reserve. (And if you can’t, read this post.) Tell your sweetheart that you find him handsome, sexy, desirable, and overall your brand of catnip, so to speak. If there’s something you especially appreciate, name that feature. Make sure your honey knows he’s still your hot honey.

2. I like you being my friend. Some of you will happily insert the word best in there: “You are my best friend.” I don’t tend to think of my husband that way, and I’m not alone, but I do think it’s important to let your guy know that he’s not just your provider, garbage-dumper, father to your children, spider-killer, roommate, and lover — he’s your genuine friend. He’s the guy you love to hang out with, laugh with, share stories with, do life with.

3. I’m sorry. You know there’s something you should apologize for. Even if it’s not understanding how important something is to your husband. You might be waiting for him to fess up to all of his wrongs and beg for mercy. But one of the most loving things you can do in your marriage is to humbly take responsibility for your own sins and ask for forgiveness. We’re just not perfect people, and we let each other down. Say I’m sorry.

4. I admire the person you are. Romans 12:10 says, “Outdo one another in showing honor” (ESV). Do you let your husband know that you respect, honor, and admire him? Men in particular respond to these expressions, although many of us ladies cherish such encouragement too. Go ahead and tell your husband outright that he is admiration-worthy in your eyes. If you can, tell him exactly why — that you admire the way he handles your kids, works his job, leads Bible classes, etc. Let your hubster know he’s got someone in his corner.

5. I’d choose you again. No matter how easy-breezy or rough your marriage has been, you picked this guy out of all the others and said I do in front of God and witnesses. For some reason, you thought you couldn’t live without him. Confirm that commitment by saying you’d do it again. You were willing to go through the hardships to have the happy marriage you have now, or you are willing to keep swimming through difficult waters to reach a better destination. Either way, you’re happy with the person you picked, and you’d choose him again.

6. I want to make love to you. For those with lower-drive hubbies, be sure to emphasize that it’s about lovemaking with him. It’s not meeting some physical need, but bonding together in intimacy. Offer to pleasure your husband in a way that he particularly enjoys. Show affection and honor in how you initiate. But make it clear that you long to be one flesh, in your lives and in your marriage bed. If you’re the lower-drive spouse, your hubby will be thrilled to have you express interest and desire for him.

7. I love you _______. Likely you’ve said those three words to each other many times over, but say them again . . . with something extra added on. How you fill in the blank is up to you! It could be: “I love you more than ever.” “I love you and all that you do for our family.” “I love you so much my heart feels like it’s bursting.” “I love you to infinity and beyond!” In my marriage, we have a phrase that’s meaningful to the two of us that I’d add to the words I love you. (No, I’m not sharing them here. Just between me and “Spock.”) Maybe you have a pet phrase too. But get extra close to your husband, linger in his arms, and express your love in a memorable way.

Of course, you can change the wording of any of these seven items to fit your marriage. But these are areas in which we should speak directly and lovingly to our husbands. (And wives. Yes, I know I have faithful male readers. Thanks, guys!)

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to tell your hubby how much he means to you.

What other phrases would you add to my list? What would you like to say to your husband or wife? And what would you like to hear?

The post 7 Things You Should Say to Your Spouse on Valentine’s Day appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.