Comments on: Q&A with J: “I’m a Fast Finisher” – Premature Ejaculation

By: J

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 18:47:24 +0000

In reply to Frustrated. Maybe try the KHS Ministry one titled Increasing Your Wife's Pleasure. We get specific there on HOW to touch and what works for women generally. You might want together and take the attitude of chiming in when something is especially true or not true for you, so y'all can discuss. I'd also recommend Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples as a great resource to get y'all talking more about sexual intimacy options and to open your husband up to better understanding and persistence in figuring this all out. Blessings!

By: Frustrated

Frustrated — Mon, 28 Nov 2022 17:26:21 +0000

In reply to J. I feel like you could be right on the technique issue because he does not respond well to coaching. I’m not seeing a webinar specifically for oral or manual for her, is there one? He’s read books but it hasn’t help. Thoughts on how to make it enjoyable for me without feeling judged for how difficult I am.

By: J

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 03:11:48 +0000

In reply to Frustrated. It's understandable that you're frustrated. Even though other sexual practices can be pleasurable, there's something about penetration by one's husband that feels especially good and/or intimate. Keep looking for answers! And if oral and manual aren't working for you, I wonder if maybe technique could be part of the issue. You may want to pick up my book, Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God’s Design and/or the webinars available at For Christian Wives and/or KHS Ministry.

By: Frustrated

Frustrated — Fri, 25 Nov 2022 21:58:53 +0000

This topic hits home for me. I love penetrative sex but my husband has struggled with PE for the entire 15 years of our marriage. I don’t get anything from oral and manual stimulation is uncomfortable. I usually only get to finish maybe 25% of the time which makes me believe the effort just isn’t worth it. We’ve tried all of these methods with no help. He does randomly take SSRI’s which sometimes help but not consistently. I so wish there was a better solution!

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 17:04:15 +0000

Go Mariners! haha

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 16:45:49 +0000

It might help during intercourse to pull out and let her do a quick handjob while the husband stimulates her vaginal lips and then in a few minutes continue thrusting or even finishing with some breast sex.

By: Mark

Mark — Sat, 01 Oct 2022 02:12:27 +0000

In reply to J.

Thank you, I kind of forgot the most important part about exercising some passionate self control.

As I slowly acclimate my man part inside her which requires me to purposely going slow and near motionless, her desire to increase the pace is causing her arousal to reach peaks to where she’ll begin a series of continuous climaxes. It’s like the slower I go, the more aroused she gets.

Truthfully if I increase the pace before acclimating I’ll “let go” too soon without her experiencing penetrative climaxes and I end up apoligizing.

Also as a man, if I let go too soon within the first 20 minutes or less (or worse like less than 3 or 4 minutes) my ejaculating is less explosive and not nearly as pleasurable because I didn’t allow my arousal level to reach an intense peak by going the distance.

So in my case it is more beneficial for me by putting my wife first. It is also emotionally stimulating to feel (and see) the way her body responds .

By: J

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 18:49:14 +0000

In reply to Mark. Thanks for sharing that. Nice to have folks who've been through it pass on their wisdom!

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 30 Sep 2022 05:41:05 +0000

The methods you’ve described worked for me over the years. Probably the most effective method that elevates intensity (after foreplay) between my wife and I, is motionless (or near motionless) penetrative love making for the first 20 minutes or so.
The desire to increase the pace while barely moving does increase arousal to a very high level for both of us, which makes the act of making love more euphoric.
We have developed a lot of trust when I’m able to admit that I will let go in 3 seconds or less if we accelerate the in and out motions.
I can see the urgency in her eyes for me to pick up the pace, but not wanting me to release at the same time, She can also see the urgency in my eyes the intense desire to let go, but instead going slow while acclimating to her playful squeezes until I’m able to increase the pace without prematurely ejaculating.
We’ve discovered that near motionless intimacy and experiencing mutual urgency, excites us both.

By: J

Wed, 28 Sep 2022 15:41:55 +0000

In reply to Tom. Yes, thanks for sharing that. SSRIs can be problematic if you don't have this issue—as in making it difficult to climax. If someone does need to take them for depression or anxiety, there are various options, and some have less of this issue than others, so it's worth discussing with a doctor.