Clearly, my post didn’t reach some of you in time, though, as I heard stories of insect bites and other issues post-outdoor coitus. *smile*

Let’s face it: There is a reason why we so often choose our bed as the place to have sex. It is comfortable. There is a flexible mattress, cushy pillows, cool sheets, warm blankets, and plenty of space. However, there are other options besides the bed, an elevator, the beach, the table, and — heaven forbid — a port-a-john. I’m all in favor of varying the location to introduce a little spice into the experience!

Places that May Be Fun for Sex

Outside. Wait! Wasn’t that on my no-no list? Yes, but here’s the thing: The outdoors can be a beautiful setting for lovemaking, and the feel of a breeze on your skin can heighten arousal with your lover. The trick is to pick your outdoor location with care. You do not want to find yourself naked among the ant beds or poison ivy. Head to your backyard (assuming it’s fenced), your porch or deck, or find another private outdoor location. If you have a playground structure or treehouse in your yard, try that. Bring a blanket or quilt and let the moon provide the mood lighting and the birds, crickets, and cicadas provide the music. You could also set up a tent in your yard and camp out together.

A Vehicle. Well, it depends on the vehicle. Those of you who drive a Smart Car should put this one in last week’s “not so much” category. Also if you’re in a classic Corvette, you’ll find the stick shift kind of gets in the way. In the United States, however, vehicles have gotten larger and larger, so if you’re driving a van, an SUV, or a truck, you likely have ample room to get it on in the back seat or truck bed. Find an out of the way location or even your garage, pack a romantic picnic, and turn on your car radio. Turn off the vehicle’s engine and rev up your own engine. Pretty soon, it will be humming and purring with delight. Steaming up the windows and shaking the car are added bonuses to this activity.

A Chair in Your House. A chair is not a bed. But find a cushioned chair nonetheless, not a hardback wooden one. A chair is a great place to vary your intimacy routine because there are sexual positions you can get into with the assistance of a chair that are not easily done on a bed. The wife can sit on her husband’s lap facing forward or straddle him facing the back of the chair. The couple can use the chair for leverage or kneeling. You could also use a bench seat for the same purpose.

(I was tempted to link to a site with some positions, but I admit to being sensitive about such visuals. While tastefully drawn images can help, you don’t need a demonstration; you can explore and figure out what works as a couple. Just use your imagination.)

Water. By water, I mean any place where there is water — your shower, your bath, a hot tub, a river, the ocean, a pool . . . you get the idea. And by sex, I mean the whole kit-and-caboodle, not just intercourse. With those clarifications, I assert that adding a little H20 to the lovemaking can be a scintillating experience. Thus, the shower, pool, etc. is a fabulous place for foreplay, but not for penetration. (It’s too difficult to get into a good position, the surfaces are slippery, and the water can wash away the necessary moisture for comfortable entry.) But go ahead and get naked and explore one another’s bodies. Kiss and fondle. Lick and grope. There is something about the water against your skin that can enliven your senses and make you even more responsive to your spouse’s touch. When you’re ready for more, move the party to a more conducive location for lovemaking.

On a cozy rug or blanket. I’m not talking about a scratchy oriental rug that you bought at a garage sale and never cleaned. Or your childhood Holly Hobbie Quilt. I’m talking about a soft fabric placed on the floor — maybe in front of a fireplace or covered with rose petals and lit with candles. Aaaaah, inviting.

In a homemade fort. I’ve seen this idea on a fellow marriage blogger’s site, but for the life of me, I can’t say whose right now. (Step right up and claim credit if it was you.) However, I found a great picture, courtesy of a blog called Hill City Bride.

Just like you did as a kid, build a sheets-and-blankets fort and decorate it however you want. Make it your love den. Then climb inside and get going. Doesn’t that photo inspire?

A boat. Actually, I don’t know if a boat is a good place to have sex. It’s just on my list of “I’d like to try it.” One reader last time said that they had a good experience on their boat. It seems like you’d need a big enough one to stay steady in the water, but a gentle rocking motion might be nice too.

And the strangest place my husband and I have ever had sex is . . . Actually, I can’t tell you. If that information came out, it could cause a little embarrassment to the people whose property we were on. I promise we were private and respectful. And it was rollicking fun. We still refer to that time now-and-then with a “Wasn’t that something?” grin and wink.

Okay, it’s time for you to gimme your best spots! If you need to do a little research first, I’ll understand. But share your best places for intimate marital lovemaking below.

The post Where to Have Sex: Part 2 appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

One suggestion for introducing a little playfulness, creativity, or adventure into your sex life is to vary where you have sex. Consider location, location, location. Besides atop the king mattress set, where else can a husband and wife be intimate? In the spirit of the medical ethics principle of Primum non nocere (“First, do no harm”), today’s post will focus on . . .

Places You Think Would Be Fun for Sex, But Not So Much

The Elevator. The thought of being alone in an elevator with your hubby, stripping down, and doing it against the wall or on the floor as you go up or down sounds adventurous. In fact, there seems to be a lot of innuendo, making out, and sex going on in elevators in the movies. There is even an Aerosmith song, Love in an Elevator (“Livin’ it up when I’m goin’ down”).

However, many elevators these days have cameras. So unless you’re trying to entertain the security guard with a free porn movie, why go there? Plus, if you push the Stop button on an elevator, someone might call for help, and you may be preventing someone from getting someplace they need to go. Finally, are you putting a plastic cover down, or messing up their carpet? I’m just sayin’.

Think of this: An elevator is simply a moving closet. If you want that experience, put full length mirrors along the walls of your closet, install a handrail, pipe in some easy listening tunes, and pretend to push the Lobby button. Same thing, no photographic evidence.

The Beach. Remember that great scene in From Here to Eternity in which Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr roll around on the beach in each other’s arms and everyone thinks, “Wow.” The sun’s rays beating down, the waves licking your bodies, the wind blowing through your hair. Could it get any sexier?

Now for the reality of sexual activity on the beach: Sand gets everywhere. And I mean everywhere. If you think the worst place to pick grains of sand from is your ear canal, you are sadly mistaken. Throwing down a blanket won’t stop that wonderful wind from blowing the sand your way. Plus, there are birds. You do not want a flock of seagulls watching you mate or dropping their souvenirs on your head.

The Kitchen Table. Another movie-inspired idea, I think. Thanks to Kevin Costner and Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham, it’s appealing to a lot of women to imagine the husband clearing off a table and taking her right then, right there. This could also be a desk, as many have imagined making love at one or the other’s workplace.

Newsflash! Tables and desks are hard. It is not comfortable to have your hips, back, derrière, etc. slammed against a surface with as little give as a concrete sidewalk. Positioning yourself appropriately for intercourse is not easy, and if your back and knees are over 30 years old, grab the pain reliever before you even begin.

The Ground. Mosquitoes, chiggers, and ants, o my! If you lay your naked bodies down right on the dirt or grass, you can expect to make contact with nature. Sometimes nature is beautiful, sometimes it is harsh. You do not want to have an orgasm followed by a poison ivy in the same place. Even if the sex is fabulous, is it worth scratching your nether regions for two weeks? Of course, this is preventable with a little planning.

Bring a quilt, a blanket, or at least a tarp. Put something between you and God’s green earth. Yes, I know that the Song of Songs speaks of the married couple being in the vineyard and under the apple tree, but I imagine that smart chap having a bed linen at the ready.

The Church Parking Lot. Seriously, dude. Whoever you were several years ago who left his used condoms in our church parking lot, uncool. Very uncool. I had to get a latex glove and paper towels, grab your icky prophylactic, and trash it before a child could pick it up and ask, “What’s this?” You probably should not have been doing it to begin with (assuming that was fornication), but even if you were married, you could have chosen a more conducive location.

In reality, any place where children are present and could see you or your evidence is not an appropriate location for sex. There’s a reason why people advise, “Get a room.”

Next Thursday, I’ll give a few suggestions of great places to have sex that don’t involve a bed. In the meantime, leave your comment below with the worst place you or someone you know has engaged in sexual activity. Let’s help our fellow married couples avoid a bad intimate encounter.

The post Where to Have Sex: Part 1 appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.