Let’s get right to our reader question today. Here it is:
Happily married 30 years. Both came into the marriage as virgins. Desiring to spice things up, but the purity of our past doesn’t help my husband. There is concern if he researches, he will come across websites that we’ll regret. Any direction you can send us?
Why, yes! Yes, I do have a direction to send you. Have you heard of this book?
I wrote that book specifically to answer your question! How do you make the sex in your marriage bed more exciting, intimate, and loving?Q&A with J: Resources for Spicing Things Up in the Marriage Bed – How do you make the sex in your marriage bed more exciting, intimate, and loving? @hotholyhumorous Click To Tweet
It has chapters like Considering Sexual Positions, Oral Sex, The Hands-On Experience, and Using Your Body Parts. I give specific, practical tips for romance, arousal, and orgasm.
And you know what? I just saw my latest royalty statement, and I know a bunch of you haven’t bought my book yet! I don’t mean to be pushy, but seriously, y’all, WHY NOT?!
I’m really proud of this book and how it has helped couples spice things up in their marriage bed. It covers a lot of ground in a short time and can help you and your spouse start some important conversations about what sexual intimacy should look like in your marriage.
Mind you, that won’t look the same in various healthy, holy marriages. You have to figure out your own sexual repertoire. But my book can help you do that.
And it’s $10 for the ebook, less than $13 for the paperback. Jeez, y ‘all spent that the last time you drove through the hamburger joint and upsized your fries. C’mon, buy this book for your marriage!
Okay, I’m off my soapbox for a moment and will share a few other resources … since you asked.
Christian Friendly Sex Positions provides both tasteful illustrations and thorough descriptions for you to try new positions and angles. This information is also available in a recently released app, Ultimate Intimacy.
The Marriage Bed has quite a few articles with ideas for adding spice to your bedroom. You might notice that the Byerlys and I disagree on a few sexual activities, but that’s okay. We’re foundationally in sync, and good Christians can disagree about particulars. Their overall advice is excellent. And I love this article on orgasmic massage from Paul Byerly’s other website, The Generous Husband.
Awaken Love also has articles on spicing things up, as well as an online video class for women. I’ve reviewed her curriculum and found it to be solid.
If you’re looking for spicy stuff, i.e., marital aids, you can check out Married Dance, for which my podcast, Sex Chat for Christian Wives, is an affiliate. This company impressed me greatly when they responded directly to a concern I had about one of their products. It was clear that they desire to promote holy and healthy sex through their online store.
Other blogs I follow that give both general and specific advice for the marriage bed:
There are other blogs that cater more toward husbands, but my own blog feed is populated primarily with sites intended for wives.
Now I’m staring at my screen knowing I’ve forgotten some fabulous resource that I should have mentioned. If I remember more later, I’ll add them.
But in summary, BUY THIS BOOK, because I wrote it and it’s awesome, and then check out the sites above. Some of these sites will also link to other resources that could be worth checking out. That’s how I often find others as well — just the old-fashioned, can’t-beat-it word of mouth. Albeit that word is text on a trusted website.
And don’t discount one of the best ways to add spice to your marriage bed: talk and try. Discuss ideas you have, try them out, and see what you think. You might discover something truly awesome that way.