Category Archives: How To Tips

101 Words for Your Private Parts (But No Curse Words)

Periodically, I’ve come across lists of words people use for erogenous zones and genitalia. From what I recall, all of those had both good ideas and icky ideas.

In an effort to equip Christians with a lot of sexy ideas, I’ve compiled a list of 101 words for private areas, none of which are curse words or generally considered vulgar. Still, make sure your choices are okay with your specific mate!

Some words are scientific, some straightforward, some poetic, some funny. But the intent of this list is to inspire you to speak positively and creatively about your body and your spouse’s body.

I have a feeling this post will bring readers who don’t usually come to Hot, Holy & Humorous. If you’re one of those, you should know that I write for married couples and encourage you to check out what God says about sexual intimacy!

Breasts

A woman’s breasts includes fatty tissue, areolas, and nipples. Breasts come in various sizes and shapes, including athletic, bell-shaped, east-west, and round.

Whatever they look like, though, a woman’s breasts tend to be an erogenous zone for one or both spouses. As Proverbs 5:19 says to a husband about his wife: “May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”

Here’s a variety of ways to refer to a wife’s breasts:

  1. bon bons
  2. boobs
  3. bosom
  4. bust
  5. chest
  6. chesticles / breasticles
  7. chi chis
  8. coconuts
  9. cookies
  10. cupcakes
  11. fawns
  12. fruit
  13. the girls
  14. Grand Tetons (or another mountain reference)
  15. lady humps
  16. lovelies
  17. mangoes (from Bend It Like Beckham)
  18. nipples
  19. pillows
  20. rack
  21. second base
  22. tatas
  23. taters
  24. twins
  25. yabos (from Hocus Pocus)

Vulva

Vulva refers to all the external female genitalia, including the pubic mound, labia majora, labia minora, clitoral bulb, vaginal opening, and Bartholin’s gland ducts (pea-sized openings where secretions emerge).

Song of Songs seems to prefer the word “garden” in reference to the wife’s vulva, but below are many options.

  1. bajingo
  2. bud
  3. cave of mysteries
  4. clitoris
  5. cookie
  6. core
  7. flower (also rose, tulip)
  8. folds
  9. garden
  10. honey pot
  11. hooha
  12. kitty
  13. lady bits
  14. (vaginal) lips
  15. magician’s hat (his part disappears inside)
  16. muffin
  17. nub
  18. papaya
  19. petals
  20. sheath
  21. sweet spot
  22. tunnel of love / love tunnel
  23. vagina
  24. vajayjay
  25. velvet glove
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Penis

The penis is a fascinating body part. The more one learns about it, the more one appreciates God’s creation. (See Are You a Fan of Your Husband’s Man-Part?)

Given how many labels men have come up with for this (favorite) body part they own, this probably could have been a post with 101 words for penis. But we’ll stick to the ones below.

  1. boner
  2. erection
  3. Excalibur (yes, like King Arthur’s legendary sword)
  4. fire hose
  5. hard-on
  6. head
  7. hot dog
  8. johnson
  9. joystick
  10. love muscle
  11. love pistol
  12. man-part
  13. member
  14. Mr. Happy
  15. mushroom (especially for a circumcised penis)
  16. pecker
  17. peter
  18. phallus
  19. popsicle (see my own post on this!)
  20. rocket
  21. rod
  22. sausage
  23. snake
  24. soldier (or hey, general!)
  25. stiffy
  26. tool
  27. trouser monkey
  28. wand
  29. weenie / wiener
  30. willy
  31. wood
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Testicles

Having raised two sons, I’ve also heard a lot of names for testicles. (You moms of boys know what I’m talking about!) These delicate semen factories get lots of labels as well.

Here are some options for what to call hubby’s testicles:

  1. balls
  2. berries
  3. cojones
  4. dangling participles
  5. fruit basket
  6. gonads
  7. huevos (Spanish for “eggs”)
  8. jewels (or family jewels)
  9. junk
  10. marbles
  11. nards
  12. nuts
  13. package
  14. pearls
  15. rocks
  16. sack
  17. scrotum
  18. stones
  19. testes
  20. wonkas (apparently because they’re between a willy and a chocolate factory)

Okay, that wraps it up! Be sure to check these out with your spouse! We should show respect for one another in the bedroom.

If you want, you can download a checklist. Fill out one checklist together or print two copies, fill them out separately, and then share your results.

Download Checklist Here

For Hubby & Wife to Mark / Compare

A big thank you to the ladies in my higher drive wife group who made great suggestions, many of which are included here.

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Resolution Week: "And Now for Something Completely Different…"

To me, New Year = Fresh Start. Yes, I know it’s just a date on the calendar, but it feels like a new beginning is on the horizon.

You don’t need the New Year, though. Whenever you want, you can press the reset button and do things differently from how you did them before. That’s what I want to talk about today, on the last day of Resolution Week—just doing something different with the sexual intimacy in your marriage.

Why do something different?

Readers come to my blog for two main reasons: (1) to figure out how to address a problem with the sex in their marriage, or (2) to get ideas on how to maintain and nurture the sex in their marriage.

(There’s a third group, a very small one, who read to find out what “the other side” is saying and pipe up from time to time to debate. But let’s not worry about them.)

For those in either of the two main groups, you’ve been doing X, but doing Y could make things better. If you have sexual struggles, you can receive:

  • encouragement to pursue better sexual intimacy
  • insight about how your spouse might be thinking or feeling about the situation
  • summaries of medical, scientific, and common-sense approaches to resolving physiological obstacles
  • biblical perspectives on God’s design for sex in marriage
  • suggestions for meeting your spouse’s emotional and sexual needs, or getting your own met
  • how-to tips for making sex better for you and for your beloved

If you have healthy physical intimacy in your marriage, you can receive:

  • how-to tips for specific sexual activities
  • inspiration to have more frequent and/or more intimate sex
  • regular reminders to keep doing what makes your spouse feel loved
  • biblical insight about how your marital intimacy reflects God’s goodness
  • updates on sex research that can improve your pleasure or connection
  • ways to expand your sexual repertoire

But let’s face it: Hot, Holy & Humorous is about persuading you to do something even a little different from what you did before. If every reader remains in absolute stasis, what’s the point of me writing another word?

Yet, I do write. I do hear from readers. I do know this site, along with other marriage ministries, has a positive impact.

Is different automatically better?

In case you didn’t get the reference in this post’s title, “And now for something completely different” was a catchphrase from the British show Monty Python’s Flying Circus. It was inserted in between comedy sketches, some of which were really great and some of which were what were they thinking?

Likewise, just doing something different in or regarding your marriage bed could be a what were you thinking? moment. But it could also be really great.

How do you know your idea is different-great?

1. It aligns with God’s design for sex in marriage.

Whatever you do in the marriage bed should be God-approved, mutually acceptable, and spouse-honoring. It should align with God’s will.

2. It benefits both of you.

It should be something that not only serves your ends, but also meets your spouse’s longings. Marriage isn’t about you or me, but rather us. You don’t want one spouse thinking the new thing is great while the other responds, “What on earth were you thinking?”

3. It is pursued in love.

You can have wonderful intentions, but if your tactics stink, you won’t get far. Your spouse will likely, and understandably, become defensive. So the different thing you go after should be pursued in a loving way, without pressure or manipulation.

To Leap or to Toddle?

If I had a dollar for every time I or one of my podcast partners said the phrase “baby steps,” we’d be retreating on a Caribbean beach somewhere right now. Working, of course—wink, wink—but with our toes in the sand and the water lapping at our ankles.

Truth is, when one spouse wants to do something different, the other spouse can get worried. What do you mean “different”? Am I not enough? Are you going to want that weird thing again? I refuse to dress up as a gorilla no matter how turned on it might make you! ~snicker~

Now some of you should leap into something different. You’ve been in a pit for far too long, and you need to jump into a marriage class or counseling. Or perhaps you two are mutually on board with trying something sexual that’s a little “out there”—not outside God’s design, but pretty creative.

For most spouses, however, baby steps are the way to go.

Just do something a little extra or different next time, then expand a little from there, then to the next thing and the next thing… Until your baby steps have gotten you down the path a ways and you’re both happy with where you are.

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

So what are some “different but great” ideas? Let me help!

Below are more than 20 suggestions. Each item is not for every couple. Find something that would benefit your particular marriage or brainstorm your own ideas.

Just choose something, or several somethings, different to do this year and see how it can improve your sexual intimacy. If it doesn’t work, you can always chuck it and try something else.

Note: Remember that when it’s something God specifically calls us to do, it may take a while to see the positive results. “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 ESV).

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Mindfulness & Meditation During Sex

For many years, I was horrible at meditation. I would try to be still, but I’m naturally fidgety. I would try to relax, but my muscles were tense. I would try to focus, but my mind would get distracted.

If there was someone leading the meditation, they would say something like, “Imagine a placid lake, calm and flat as glass.” So I’d do that…and two seconds in, a jet ski would go by. Followed by a motor boat, a pontoon, and a few fish leaping around. In more imaginative moments, the Loch Ness monster would raise its head. #MeditationFail

And yet, Psalms often mentions the benefit of meditating on God’s Word, like this passage:

Blessed is the one
  who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
  or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
  and who meditates on his law day and night.
Psalm 1:1-2

Learning to Meditate

Given that I reached “Amen” on maybe 9 of 10 prayers I said, I became determined to learn to meditate. I needed that focus to pray and consider God’s Word.

I downloaded a meditation app. There are several, but I happened to use HeadSpace. The early meditations are really good, but at some point it does get more into Eastern spirituality views. I disregarded that and chose a Scripture or praise to focus on instead. It worked! I learned how to be still, relax, and focus.

Only, I also realized I’d been doing that already—for years and years. Not in my everyday activities, but my sexual intimacy. Much of what I was learning was consistent with what I’d practiced and taught about experiencing pleasure and reaching orgasm in the marriage bed.

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The Role of Mindfulness

Meditation is a practice used to achieve mindfulness; that is, “the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us” (Mindful.org). Yes, the concept is tied to Buddhist traditions, but they hardly hold the market on being mindful (see Psalm 26:2-3).

Keying in on that notion of being fully present and aware, isn’t that what we hope to have in our sex lives? Don’t we want to feel mindful of what’s happening, so we can savor the affection and pleasure of being with our husband in such an intimate way?

And yet, we struggle. Both external stimuli and internal monologues compete for our attention. We are fidgety, tense, distracted. An inability to relax and focus contributes to many wives being unable to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm.

An inability to relax and focus contributes to many wives being unable to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm. @hotholyhumorous Click To Tweet

Meditating During Sex

How then can we use the concept of mindfulness and the practice of meditation to increase our awareness and enjoyment during sex? Here are several techniques you can use in the bedroom:

Breathing. Before you begin, take a few deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. As you exhale, feel your tension release. Then let your breathing return to normal, but attend to those breaths for a little while longer. Just savor the sense of breathing in and out, in and out.

Acceptance of distractions. One of things I previously had wrong was trying to push away distractions. Instead, it’s important to simply accept the stimuli that could pull us away. Take note of what you see or hear (the mess around you, the noise down the hall), accept its existence, and then turn your focus back to where you are and what you’re doing.

The same is true for unrelated self-talk—don’t fight it, but rather recognize it and then turn your attention and mind back to where you want it.

Distractions somehow lose their power when you admit they’re there but just don’t play their game. (Note: I’m not talking about a crying child who really needs your attention, but general distractions.)

Body scan. One meditation technique involves “checking in” with your body by scanning from head to toe. That is, begin at the top of your head, check in with that body part, and move your focus slowly down through your face, your neck, your shoulders, and so on.

You can pair this practice with our view of God’s beautiful creation. That is, as you check in with your body parts, consider how God knit you together (Psalm 139:13-14), think about the form and function of each body part, revel in those places sensitive to touch and sensuality. Again, this can help you get your body ready for arousal and connection.

Mantras. A mantra is a word or sound you repeat to maintain concentration. Yes, I know its Hindu origins, but we’re not using it that way. I’m not suggesting you om your way through sex. (Please don’t.)

Rather, repeating phrases to bring home a message was used in the Bible as well (see Psalm 136 and “His love endures forever”). You can use that same concept to maintain your focus or increase your positivity during lovemaking. Examples:

  • You struggle with body image, so you repeat in your mind, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 136:14) to remember the beauty God imparted to you or simply “His desire is for me” (Song of Songs 7:10) to remember that you are beautiful to your husband.
  • You were taught that sex is dirty or less-than-spiritual, so you repeat in your mind, “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:7-9) to recognize that God Himself created this act to nurture and express our intimacy.
  • You feel selfish at times enjoying sex as much as you do, especially if/when the activity mostly involves your pleasure, so you repeat in your mind, “drink your fill of love” (Song of Songs 5:1), to remind yourself that God encourages us to drink deeply of sexual delight in the marriage bed.

Focal point. Sometimes in meditation, you’re asked to choose a focal point, a place to center your attention. During sex, your focal point will likely change, but it should follow your sense of arousal so that it feels fluid.

For instance, instead of thinking about everything that’s happening during sex, focus on where your husband hand is stroking, how his fingers feel, what your skin underneath senses, what physiological responses you feel inside, etc. As his hand moves, let your focal point follow.

Be fully present in experiencing the sensations his hand, mouth, or penis provide your body. As you near orgasm, focus your attention entirely on that part of your body, just leaning into that focal point.

Prayer. The whole reason I started learning meditation was so I could focus long enough to get all the way through a prayer to “Amen.” Interestingly enough, I’m not sure I reach “Amen” all that more often, but I am more focused in my prayer time.

You can use that same focus to pray in the midst of sex. Yes, you can! (See Praying Before, During, and After Sex.) It probably won’t be a full prayer, but even “Thank you, God” or “Be with me, Lord” is a prayer. You may be surprised to find that calling on God in the midst of lovemaking settles your heart and increases your delight.

Techniques of meditation and mindfulness can help you become more fully present in the moment of lovemaking, so that you can experience arousal, pleasure, and satisfaction as God intended.

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What about “Breast Sex”?

Don’t know what “breast sex” is? It’s a term used to describe the husband rubbing his penis between his wife’s breasts. It might lead to ejaculation, or it could just be for the arousing experience itself, but it’s a sexual activity some couples enjoy.

Why does breast sex excite husbands?

This just in, ladies: Men like breasts. Oh wait, you already knew that? Of course you did.

And the fabulous things about hubbies is they like their wife’s breasts, no matter how small, big, odd-shaped, or gravity-ridden they are. Yes, there are exceptions, and those men need to get a clue. But by and large, I hear over and over from husbands that they are big fans of the breasts that appear on the woman they chose and love, their beautiful wife.

Know what else men like? They own penises. No, it’s true! Just ask 100 random men—actually never do this, it’s a really bad idea—and perhaps 99-100% will say their penis is one of their favorite body parts.

So breast sex pairs TWO of a hubby’s favorites: his own penis and his wife’s breasts. To which many men reading this say, “What’s not to like?!”

Actually, from what I understand, men enjoy both the sensation and the visual of their penis making contact with their wife’s breasts. Some men can reach climax, others have breast sex as foreplay, but it is appealing to a number of husbands.

As Proverbs 5:19 says: “May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.”

Why does breast sex appeal to wives?

Why would a wife enjoy this? Some wives may enjoy feeling her husband’s penis rubbing against her. But since the area between a woman’s breasts is not nearly as sensitive as other areas of the breast, such as the areola and nipple, the physical sensation is likely more enjoyable to him than her.

However, a wife can feel appreciated and confident when she sees the effect her breasts have on her husband. She may relish her ability to turn him on this way and witness his excitement.

While this is not a reference to breast sex in the Bible, the Song of Songs wife says in 1:13: ” My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts.” This wife savors the idea of her husband enjoying her breasts.

What if you have smaller breasts?

Let me pause here and address you ladies who don’t have much in the way of cleavage. One might assume a man would enjoy breast sex only when his penis is surrounded by breast tissue, thus mimicking the feel of the vagina closing in around him. As one clever commenter in my closed Facebook group asked: “So if the woman is, ahem, less endowed, wouldn’t it basically be *breastbone* sex?”

But several husbands there spoke up in favor of breast sex with their smaller chested wives, saying it’s still quite enjoyable for them without substantial cleavage. Maybe it’s just the idea of his penis being right there by her breasts or the friction itself, but they like it.

So if you’re not well-endowed, your husband may adore the idea of breast sex with you. Because it’s you and your breasts he wants.

How can you have great breast sex?

Start with foreplay.

Rather than going straight for the breast sex, spend some time getting her aroused. Why? Because sexual stimulation can cause increased breast sensitivity, nipple erection, and a slight increase in the size of her breasts as blood flows to that area. All of these make the experience more enjoyable for the wife while giving you both a little more to work with.

Choose a good position.

You should make good contact between his penis and the space between your breasts. Here are a couple of ideas:

  • With wife lying down, have hubby straddle her waist, lean over, and thrust between her breasts.
  • With hubby standing, have the wife kneel in front of him, positioning her breasts on either side of his penis.

Christian Friendly Sex Positions also has a section with breast sex positions where you can find other options that might work for you.

Use lubricant.

You want some friction, but not too much. His thrusting should be smooth, so consider adding personal lubricant. To find one that works for you, check out 5 Tips for Choosing Personal Lubricant. Apply the lubricant liberally on his penis and/or your breasts. Keep it handy, in case you need to add more.

Make your cleavage count.

Whatever size breasts you have, you can squeeze them together to provide more pressure against his penis. For larger-breasted women, use your hands to push your breasts together. For smaller-breasted women, use your upper arms to pull them together.

Your husband can also assist, using his hands to nudge your breasts into position. But hubbies reading this, be gentle! Whether large- or small-breasted, all women’s breasts have a lot of nerve endings and can be sensitive.

Include your hand.

If your husbands wants a tighter feel, place your palm over his penis, forming a triangle of your breasts and hand. That will provide full contact around his penis, giving a little friction and helping him reach climax.

Add your mouth.

When your husband thrusts up, you can touch or lick the head of his penis with your mouth and tongue. You likely won’t be able to do more oral sex than that. And even that may be a stretch on your neck, shoulders, and chin. But you may be able to at least add some mouth action as he nears climax, taking his arousal up just a notch. And you may enjoy the heady feeling of that impact on him as well.

Be willing to finish another way.

Successful breast sex doesn’t mean he climaxes; it means you both enjoyed the experience. Breast sex can be the main event, or it can be foreplay for the main event. If he or you want to finish another way, go for it!

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For more great tips on how to have sizzling sex, check out this book for wives!

What does the Bible say?

One last issue I want to cover. Apparently, breast sex is featured in pornography, and that makes some uncomfortable with its practice in marriage. However, breast sex precedes today’s pornography, and besides, intercourse is also in porn and we don’t exclude that. What makes pornography problematic is the treatment of people in the scenes (which includes some highly inadvisable activities) and the selfish focus of the viewer. So the question should be: Is breast sex harmful? Degrading? Objectifying? Entirely selfish?

For most married couples, the answer to these questions is no. Rather, it’s a husband enjoying this aspect of his wife’s body, her enjoying the effect her body has on him, and both of them experiencing sexual pleasure. It could be considered more one-sided for the husband, but then so would be manual play for her or oral sex for either them. Sometimes, we provide our mate pleasure not because they’re selfish, but because we want to bless them.

I’m reminded again of how God created a wife’s breasts to be part of sexual pleasure for him and her:

How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
    my love, with your delights!
Your stature is like that of the palm,
    and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
    I will take hold of its fruit.”
~ Song of Songs 7:6-8

So enjoy the delights God has gifted us in the marriage bed. And if breast sex is one of them, I hope these tips help!

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12 Ways to Make Good Sex Even Better

How’s the sex in your marriage going? Pretty good? Well, how about 12 ways to make it even better!

1. Invest in heavy kissing first.

I’ve said before that I don’t think married couples kiss enough, but research also shows one of the activities that helps women climax is heavy kissing. Once married, we often move to quickly to the main event, not taking time to “make out” like we used to. Spend a little more time locking lips, and you might enjoy that main event more.

2. Undress with a tease.

Draw out anticipation by taking off clothes slowly. You could perform a strip tease, easing out of your clothing bit by bit with a playful or sexy tone. Or he could strip tease for you! But you could also simply undress him at a leisurely pace. And tease his skin just at or under the edge of his clothing before removing an item.

3. Tour one another’s bodies.

Yes, we all know where the “goodies” are, but how about spending more time on the whole, amazing body God gave your husband? Using your hands and/or mouth, trace his skin in various places—limbs, torso, head—as if memorizing it. If you need help to slow down this endeavor, offer to spread lotion or massage oil on your husband. Or ask him to spread it on your body.

4. Say what you like or want.

When asked what makes a woman sexy, a common answer among husbands is “confidence.” I know, I know…easier said than done. But if you can say what you are enjoying in the moment or request what you want, that’s a confident move and typically arousing to your man. Not to mention that you then get more of what you want and like in bed! After all, how is your hubby supposed to know how things feel to you unless you tell him? Speaking up for yourself is a win-win.

5. Spend some time “down there.”

Do you really know your husband’s penis? Could you, as they say, pick it out from a lineup? If not, maybe it’s time to engage in man-part appreciation. For general information, listen to our Male Anatomy podcast episode, but for specifics, explore all those places on your particular guy. Move into position where you can closely view and handle things down there. As you touch your husband, watch his reactions so that you learn what he likes and how you affect him. God created this vital part of his body, and both of you can be aroused by embracing its wondrousness.

See also Get to Know His Penis from The Forgiven Wife.

6. Go for your orgasm first.

You might not get one if you’re relying solely on intercourse, as many women have difficulty achieving it this way. But if you aim for your climax first, you could: orgasm before he enters; have him penetrate right as you’re beginning to peak; and/or get a second orgasm during intercourse. No bad options there, right? Plus, the arousal your body goes through to reach orgasm should make your vaginal lips ready for penetration—that is, swollen to 2-3 times their normal size and well-lubricated. (If you need additional lube, though, go for it.)

7. Pause once he’s inside you.

You can do this for a few seconds or longer, but once your husband’s penis is all the way in, take a moment to savor that feeling before thrusting begins. Do this yourself from a woman-on-top position, or ask him to stop for a moment until you’re ready to continue—or, let’s face it, until he can’t easily handle the delay any longer. It’s pretty amazing how God created our bodies to fit together, so take a brief interlude and appreciate that experience.

8. Tilt your hips.

Whatever sexual position you use, tilt your hips. More. A little more. You might be delightfully surprised how shifting your hips forward or backward changes the angle of entry and thus the sensations you feel. Even if you don’t orgasm during intercourse, indirect stimulation of the clitoris can be particularly enjoyable, and hip-tilting can help you get some friction to that area. Some couples are also able to achieve contact with her G-spot or Skene’s glands, the latter of which (experts believe) is responsible for female ejaculation.

Want specific position ideas? Check out the resource below.

9. Close your thighs.

This isn’t possible with every sexual position obviously, but you can tighten things up a bit for your husband by closing your thighs, down to your knees. Yep, women were once instructed to avoid sex by keeping their knees closed. But it turns out, once hubby’s in, that’s a good way to narrow the entryway slightly, potentially providing more pleasure for both of you. For even more narrowing, try crossing your legs.

10. Do Kegels.

You know those Kegel exercises you’re supposed to be doing for the health of your pelvic floor? Why not do a few while he’s inside you? A wife’s orgasm creates muscle spasms of her vagina, which tightens around his penis, feeling good to both of you. But you can mimic those spasms a bit with Kegels. Bonny Burns lays out in this post from OysterBed7 how Kegels can also strengthen your orgasm. Since you’re supposed to be doing them anyway, why not during sex?

11. Snuggle after sex.

Do you bask in the afterglow? This could be a key moment for you and your husband to feel more intimate and satisfied. Post-climax, you have several body chemicals running through you, including oxytocin (which promotes a sense of bonding), dopamine (which “rewards” us for what just happened), and serotonin (which provides a feeling of well-being and happiness). Let these feelings wash over you while lying in one another’s arms.

And yes, ladies, you should get up and pee post-coitus, but you needn’t panic about it. Health professionals say you can take several minutes to an hour to make it to the bathroom and still get the health benefits of clearing your bladder.

12. Thank God for His gift.

I’ve encouraged couples to pray for their sexual intimacy and even before, during, or after sex. Still, some are uncomfortable with the thought of God in their bedroom. I get it. It can feel awkward to be mid-intercourse and imagine God blessing your union right then and there. But afterward, take a moment to thank Him for this unique gift to marriage. And if you’re still struggling with sexual issues or concerns, take those to Him too—letting Him carry your burdens and leave you with His peace. (See Psalm 68:19 and Matthew 11:28-29.)

Or just imagine giving Him a thumbs-up for that awesome orgasm you just had. Whatever works for you.

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For more great tips on how to have sizzling sex, check out this book for wives!

*This post is for couples who have a reasonably healthy sex life. If you’re looking for advice on dealing with deeper sexual problems or a sexless marriage, I have many other posts on those topics and a search bar at the top of this website.

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