How Did You and Your Spouse Meet? Here’s My Story.

In the United States, June is considered the month of weddings! Because more weddings take place during this month than any other. My wedding was not in June, but I was thinking about the whole courtship, engagement, nuptials business and thought maybe it was time to tell y’all how I met my husband.

Because I love a good story, and this is a great story. Plus it’s got God running all through it.

Blog post title + picture of J and her husband in the park

After graduating from Abilene Christian University with a bachelor’s degree in history, and no teaching certificate, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I had abandoned my original plan to attend law school, although I wanted to go graduate school in something. However, I wasn’t ready for that step, so I returned home to get a job and make some money.

I got a job at a law firm as a legal assistant (with prior experience as a legal secretary) and began researching what I wanted to do next. With no strings attached, I concluded that I could move anywhere and do anything, and this youthful moment was the time to do that.

J. Parker sitting at office cubicle in law firm where she worked after college

At the office where I worked after college

Having lived in Texas all my life, I hadn’t really been around mountains, and I was supremely curious about that landscape. I concluded I wanted to move somewhere that had mountains (even wrote a song back then titled “I Need Mountains”). Seattle, Washington topped the list. I had friends who’d moved there, and they encouraged me to join them.

But while I worked for money to finance my move, something was happening in Seattle: The job market was declining, and the cost of living was rising. Moreover, I lived in the Piney Woods of Texas where it rains a fair amount, and for every day that it rained where I lived, it rained at least one more in Seattle. I didn’t know how long I’d have to live in my parents’ house and work at the law firm to finance this trip, as well as whether I’d actually like the climate there.

I began to research other possibilities. My priorities: mountains, low to moderate cost of living, good job market. I literally got out a map and identified cities, then gathered information about each. My eventual decision: Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Had I ever been to Albuquerque, New Mexico? No, I had not. But I set my sights there and a few months later, I packed everything I owned into my Toyota Corolla and moved to Albuquerque with only a hotel reservation.

1987 Toyota Corolla, four-door, sitting on side of street

Not my actual car, but it looked a lot like this, photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

My father later said that I made it happen because I didn’t know how crazy it was. (He said it nicer, but that was basically it.) I also discovered later that he quelled my mother’s fears by saying that if it didn’t work out, I’d just drive back home.

Now West Texas is known for being somewhat barren, but it is beaten in that category by Eastern New Mexico. I remember driving for hours as I entered the state and thinking, What have I done? At one point, I needed to use the restroom, and there was no place to go. Not even a tree in sight to hide behind. Looking back, I guess it’s true that God sometimes takes you through the wilderness to get to the Promised Land.

After arriving at my hotel — and discovering that Albuquerque is actually quite beautiful — I did four important things: toured the city (including a trip to the mountaintop on the Sandia Peak Tramway), applied for jobs, started attending church, and hunted for an apartment.

View of Albuquerque from Sandia Peak, with tramway in left of photo

View of Albuquerque from Sandia Peak, photo by Nightscream via Wikimedia Commons

I narrowed my apartment choice down to two places. Objectively speaking, I should have chosen the slightly nicer complex, although I would have to furnish it myself. But when I toured the other complex, I had this strangely positive feeling about it. I chalked it up to this apartment being already furnished and the hospitality of the manager, but looking back, I think something else was going on.

Within three weeks, I had secured a secretarial job at a law firm, moved into the apartment, and began regularly attending a large, local church where the singles group was inviting and active. Mind you, I’m an introvert, so this was all really hard for me … but I was determined to make friends and thrive in my new, chosen home.

With that in mind, I headed to a church singles devotional at a member’s house. I remember the trepidation I had stepping across the threshold, or rather forcing myself to step across that threshold. I would have much rather been at home eating drive-through food and reading a book. But I’d come this far, and I needed to settle in and get to know other Christians.

A few minutes into the evening, a guy walked in, wearing a light-colored shirt, shorts, and a knee brace. He was tall, dark-headed, with glasses, and obviously athletic given his build. I didn’t linger on him, though. I was simply trying to keep my head above water in a group of people I didn’t know. (If you’re a true introvert, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re an extrovert, just trust me — we like people, but it takes time to acclimate.)

After the devotional, we all ended up in the kitchen, and looking at this guy more closely, it struck me that he was familiar. That’s when he said something to me like, “You look familiar. Do we know each other?” We ran through all the possible connections we could have — church affiliations, college attendance, mutual friends, etc. Nothing, not a thing. But where else could I have met this guy? I’d moved to a city three weeks prior in which I knew nobody.

Finally, he asked, “Where do you live?” You might think this is a question a young lady shouldn’t answer to a relatively strange man. But I don’t recall feeling any fear or hesitation; something about this man put me at ease. (Not that that’s always a good indicator; I’m just recalling my story.) I shared the name of my apartment complex. He answered, “That’s where I live. Which building are you in?” I shared my building number. He answered, “That’s the building I’m in. What apartment?” I shared my apartment number, which was C. He answered, “I’m in apartment D. I’m your next-door neighbor.”

And that’s when it hit me. I’d seen this guy before — on a Sunday morning wearing slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie with his Bible in one hand and taking out his trash with the other. I remembered that moment, because I’d thought how nice it was to see a single man heading out to church as I was.

Our church was big enough that I didn’t recall seeing him there, but we had spotted each other around the complex. And thus began a friendship.

Since I didn’t have a television at the time (it wouldn’t fit in the car), he invited me over to watch shows with him. I cooked him dinner, and he surprisingly still stuck around. He showed up at my doorstep one day with a sack from Wal-Mart and pulled out ice-cube trays he’d bought me, because I’d mentioned that the furnished refrigerator didn’t come with enough trays (my very first gift from him). I played my guitar (which I did fit in the car) and sang him a couple of songs I’d written. We talked about our family backgrounds, church history, and Star Trek: The Next Generation, which we were watching together.

One night, while sitting on my couch, he kissed me.

Later I asked him where and when we had our first kiss, and he said something different that was totally wrong. Because if my memory is a sieve, his is a drain. But that’s okay, because as long as we kept kissing, we’d have plenty of memories to choose from.

J. and her then-fiancé embracing in a close-up photo

J. & her then-fiancé (we’re so young!)

Five months after we met, and about three and a half months after we started really dating, he proposed. Or I should say that he asked me to marry him. There was no on-the-knee, “Will you be my beloved wife?” moment. Rather we were shopping in the mall one day, he pulled me into a jewelry store, and about a half hour later he purchased one of the engagement rings I’d tried on. As we walked out, he said, “Oh, by the way, will you marry me?” Ah, my romantic fella!

Three months after we got engaged, we got married. Oh yes, we did. EIGHT MONTHS from meet to marry! With a son in college, this now horrifies me. What we were we thinking? Just eight months?!

J as a bride, her husband as the groom, a wedding pic of just the two of them

Happy (and with no idea what we’re getting ourselves into)

But remember how I said that God was a main player in this story. What I didn’t tell you is right before heading to Albuquerque, I’d sworn off men. I was done with dating, with looking for the right guy, with even letting my heart consider a relationship. Consequently, I think God’s approach was to slam me upside the head with a fiancé and get me hitched before I could sabotage my destiny. God’s pushy that way.

If you’ve ever tried to resist Him, you know what I’m talking about.

Sometimes I do wish my husband and I had waited a little longer, gotten more premarital counseling, and spent more time with our respective families to ease that transition, but the marriage itself was a good idea. And for the rest of my life, I can say that I married the boy next door.

Now share your meet story in the comments. Hopefully, in far fewer words than I took. Just give us the highlights of how you and your spouse first met. I’d love to hear, and it’s always nice to remember what made you choose your special someone.

87 thoughts on “How Did You and Your Spouse Meet? Here’s My Story.

  1. Nick Peters

    This is briefly edited from a Facebook note I have on the topic.

    I just had someone else ask me how Allie and I met, so I figured I should tell the story. I was a student in 2009 at Southern Evangelical Seminary and I was also working at the Christian Research Institute. One day, I was driving back from work and figured I’d stop at the Seminary and see Gary Habermas who was teaching a class. Gary and I had spoken before. He had done a talk at our church about doubt and I asked if I could communicate with him about self-doubt, a problem I frequently have. He agreed and we formed a friendship.

    I stopped by and when we were in the lobby with just the two of us, he asked me if I knew about Michael Licona’s daughter. Well no. I didn’t. He told me that she was going through a really hard time and that she had Aspergers. Gary told me that he had been talking to Frank Turek who told him that I have Aspergers as well. Alex McFarland might have been there as well for that conversation.

    I joined Gary for the first part of his class and when the break came and it was time for me to go home, I asked some more questions. We started talking again and he told me what she really wanted was a boyfriend. I filed that in the back of my mind, but really, I didn’t want to go down the internet dating route, especially since she was in Atlanta and I was in Charlotte.

    But I did communicate. At the time, Allie had gone through a break-up and a suicide attempt in fact over it and was trying to get back with the guy she had had the attempt over. I got Allie in touch with some of my female friends on Theology Web like Michelle and Michele because I wanted her to have good female role models. I didn’t know she already had a great one in her mother Debbie Licona at the time.

    So we started talking and I found something happening. I was coming to like our conversations more and more. I found my mind wandering at times thinking about Allie. Meanwhile, she was starting to notice the same thing. I was a guy different from the other guys she’d met. Apologetics had seemed to produce nerds who were all intellectual and no heart. I was different. She saw a love of apologetics in me to be sure, but also a love of Jesus. I find this odd because if anything, I would have said I would not consider myself a great lover of Jesus.

    On Labor Day, we decided to say that we were dating. Plans started to be arranged for us to meet. That took place in October. Our first date was to the Atlanta Aquarium. That evening was spent watching Beauty and the Beast at her house and a dance together with me in a fancy outfit and her in a dress to “Eyes On Me” from Final Fantasy VIII. (The game is terrible, but the music is wonderful and this is kind of “our song.”)

    When I got back, the mood was clear to everyone around me. They knew they’d better be prepared to book a wedding chapel. I found out later that Eileen Habermas, Gary’s wife, had said the same around September and that Mike had been saying that around the same time as well. Summer wedding was the prediction. I was thinking this sounded silly. After all, I had no prospects of getting married in July of 2009 and if you’d said I’d be walking down the aisle a year later, I would have said you were crazy.

    So again, in July of 2009, if you’d told me I’d be married in a year’s time, I would have laughed in your face.

    On July 24, 2010, Allie and I said our “I do’s” to each other. Gary Habermas, the man who introduced us, was also the man who married us. Our wedding was truly a fairy tale wedding, with the best wedding toast ever by David.

    It’s amazing how love begins and today, I’m still learning what it means to love someone. I don’t think I truly knew until Allie came into my life. I don’t think I still know yet, but I want to spend the rest of my life learning it. I have come to love Allie even more as our relationship has continued and I figure that years down the road, I will love her even more and still be clueless as to what love is, but hopefully understand it better.

    I love married life. I can’t imagine life without Allie and I strive every day to be a man worthy of her. I want to be that man that every day she can look at me with confidence as her rock and know that with me, she has found a place where she can be loved for who she is.

    Love you, Allie. Thank you for being in my life.

    Reply
  2. Jason@SongSix3

    I was playing guitar in a heavy metal band, and my best friend & co-guitarist was dating a girl. The two of them set me up with Tiffani at a bowling alley in Dranesville, VA. Unfortunately, my friend and his girl broke up soon thereafter, but Tiffani and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary in August!

    Reply
  3. Liberty Speidel

    I met my husband on a church camping retreat that the young adults in my church had put together at the time. I remember thinking that day when I met him that he was very strange because he had brought a brand-new car down 6 miles of gravel roads. In Kansas. And we’re not known for our great roads especially the gravel ones.

    Fast-forward about three months and I have totally forgotten about this guy. My friend calls me up one morning and says that there’s a mutual friend of ours that needs a date for the night for something he has tickets for and what I’d be interested in going? Because I’m interested in that sort of thing. So I say yes, just to help a friend out. And lo and behold I was stunned when he called me the next week and asked me on a second date! I did the math sometime later, and from the weekend we met to the weekend we got married was 53 weeks. We’ve been married for 15 years now.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Did he ever explain why on earth he brought a brand-new car down six miles of gravel roads? You left me hanging on that one! 😉

      But it sounds like he got the right path when he asked you out a second time. Nice story!

      Reply
      1. LibertySpeidel

        It was the only car he had! I was driving a 12-year old Jeep (which I managed to halfway wreck that weekend) so of course it caught my eye.

        I do remember talking to him that weekend, but it took me a few months after we started dating to totally remember it.

        Reply
  4. Stormy

    We were at a small Christian college together in deep east Texas. We had a ministry class together and I remember thinking he was the only cute guy in my class. We had a few conversations but not much more than that. One night a year after our shared class, while I was wearing pajamas and no makeup and I was hanging out in the lobby of my friend’s dorm, he was in there with his sort-of girlfriend. We were watching a movie, The Labryinth, and I was making slightly inappropriate comments about David Bowie and his tight pants. That night, I really noticed my future husband’s dimples and kept commenting how adorable they were. My hubby said that at the time he had never met a girl like me, he thought I was hilarous and beautiful. I got a letter in my mailbox from him a few days later, him asking me to call him. I was very interested, so I did and we went out on our first date. I knew that first date I would marry him. He said he knew the next day. 3 months later, we were engaged and 5 months after that we were married. It was exactly 8 months to the day from our first date to our wedding. 14 years of marriage later, college graduations, master’s degree graduations, multiple moves, 3 children, the death of one child, buying a house, changing careers, we are still here. He still thinks I’m hilarous and beautiful and I’m still a sucker for those dimples.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Oh, please tell me that to this day “Magic Dance” by David Bowie is YOUR song! That might make this my favorite story. (I love The Labyrinth.)

      My deep sympathy on the death of your child, but I love that you have built a beautiful life together. Many blessings!

      Reply
  5. Larissa

    My roommate had this friend whom I had seen a couple times at social gatherings. I knew him as a super geeky guy, enjoying video games and Nerf gun fights with his friends. Summer of 2010 he was living really close to us so the three of us hung out a lot. Then my roommate moved out of town and her parting words were “you aren’t allowed to hang out without me because you’ll have too much fun.” So what did we do? We decided to date! And six weeks later we were engaged! We got engaged at craigdarroch castle in Victoria, BC. Before I met my guy, I had told my sister to tell whoever I was going to be engaged to, to tell him to propose there. The castle was actually the halfway point of the 10 minute walk between our houses! Don’t know how he would have proposed if I didn’t come up with a plan. Haha! We were married 7 months later and now six years married with 4 kids!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Loving Nerf gun fights makes you super-geeky? Guess I need to re-categorize myself to the Geeky Column. 😀

      And wow, what a proposal! How marvelous! Congrats.

      Reply
  6. K J

    I race bicycles, and my now-husband got into riding as cross-training for his ATV races. in 2015, he stated messaging me on Facebook about and after bike races. I honestly thought he was someone else (his name is similar to a much older, married, man that I knew of, and his profile picture wasn’t clear), and tried to be professional in my responses. Meanwhile, he was over there thinking, “I can’t get anywhere with this girl–she’s always so professional and not personal!”

    When I finally mentioned to my BFF that this guy was messaging me, she suggested we find out who he really was. When I found out, I felt so bad! I apologized and offered to make him cookies 🙂 He asked me out, and the rest is history.

    We started messaging in May of 2015, first went out that August, got engaged in Feb. 2016, and got married in Aug. 2016. We are now happily married newlyweds who greatly appreciate your ministry!

    Reply
    1. K J

      ATV and dirt bike races are kind of a big deal here in the northern south (TN/KY/etc.) and the east (NY/WV/etc.). In a race in WV on Saturday, for example, there were over 500 ATVs and over 900 dirt bikes in just one series!

      I do love any and every adventure, and he loves one every once in a while 🙂

      Reply
      1. J Post author

        Dirt bikes, I knew (had a friend who raced them in high school), but I didn’t know about ATVs. Good info to add to my already crowded brain!

        Reply
  7. Kay

    My husband and I both went to big public universities in different states our first year of college but then transferred to a teenie tiny Bible college our sophomore year. It was so small that we had every single class together. Our last names were right next to each other alphabetically in the attendance call/seating chart (if applicable), and then we both ended up working in the Admissions office. Soon we were spending every waking moment together, and realized we always wanted it to stay that way. Just like you, J, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I had been seeing a guy over the previous summer that was amazing but not marriage material, and I realized then that I didn’t want to date around; I wanted to marry. Before my husband and I started dating a few months later, I somehow already knew he was The One. It was not love at first sight; in fact, I was terrified. But I guess God just let me know in my gut. We’ve been married 10 years now, and God knew exactly what He was doing. 😊

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      That’s interesting: “It was not love at first sight.” It wasn’t for us either. We had some curiosity about each other, but we didn’t experience that “you’re the One” feeling. In fact, we were kind of scared to step into a romance, because we really enjoyed the friendship and didn’t want to hurt that. I think it’s great, though, when deep love grows from a friendship.

      Reply
  8. Anonymous

    I was at a flea market with a friend. We walked past a coin stand, and my eyes locked with a handsome man. We eventually came back to the stand, and my friend acted as a terrific wing-woman…without her, I was too tongue-tied to speak. At one point, some of his friends stopped by, and I literally ran away. However, I had this strange feeling that I had just encountered my forever…
    I came back a few weeks later with some coins my friend gave me, and the handsome man gave me an estimate on how much they were worth. He asked my name, but didn’t ask me out. I was disappointed, but I somehow knew that we would see each other again.
    The next day, he connected with me online and after a few days of emailing back and forth, he asked me out.
    I was the biggest cynic of love at first sight, but I’m now a believer…or rather, I’m a believer of forever at first sight. God was very much in our meeting, and He continues to be in our relationship.

    Reply
  9. Andrea

    I had been teaching at a school overseas for five years. It was quite a transient community. I was tired of watching all of the female teachers (and my roommates) commit to one year at our school and go home with a brand new fiance from the expat community (most marrying another teacher they’d met at our school). When my sixth year began in August, a brand new male teacher showed up. He was very different from most of the teachers that we had at our school. When I met him, I told the woman that was discipling me that I was going to marry him. She was worried about that plan. She knew something I didn’t. Although he was committing to teach for one year, he’d also come to win the heart of his childhood sweetheart who also worked at our school. I was bummed, but he and I became good friends nonetheless. Surprisingly (to me), I wanted things to work out for him with his love. I just wanted him to be happy. By December, I’d given up on ever getting to marry him, and I headed out of country for the holidays. When I returned, I found out that they had broken up over the Christmas holiday. I didn’t want to be the rebound girl, so I waited and prayed. Toward the middle of March (the 18th to be exact), he asked me out on my first date ever (I was 28 years old) on a Sunday. The following Saturday, he asked about what kind of ring I wanted and how I pictured my wedding. On May 26, he asked me to marry him using a paperclip he’d twisted into a ring. On August 4, we got married… Less than a year after we first met. It was a total God thing. I’m not usually one to agree to anything that quickly, nevermind the rest of life. We’ll celebrate our fifth anniversary this August. It hasn’t always been easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Whirlwind romance! I love how you said that, while he was dating his childhood sweetheart, you just wanted him to be happy, because that’s agape love…to want the best for your spouse. As it turns out, he got it! 😉

      Reply
  10. Sherry

    I worked at the Local laundromat and video store. He was a single Father to a 3 yr. old little boy. Well his little boy liked watching movies. So he became quit a regular customer. A coworker would always say when they walked thru the door “Hi Cutie” to which he would reply thanks. (As if she was talking to him) That become a thing I also started to do. Me being a married woman not in a great marriage his reply would be “stop that your married”. Well my marriage ended by a cheating husband. Within just a few days I was walking into the local grocery store. He was walking in the opposite side doors at the same time. He was alone no little boy this time. To which he gave him common reply. I had told him my story and was not very Christian like with my words. We went on our ways for the day. Next time he came in the store he had a for Sale sign on his car. My car was broke down so I asked a price for his car. Throughout the evening we exchanged phone calls to try to check out if I would buy his car. The next day was a Sunday. He was a very church going man I had not been in years. My dad was to check the car over for me to let me know if I should buy it. Well he had a busy day planned for Sunday so the only good time was before Church. So he said he could stop by with the car and bring me to church with him. I was hesitant for sure but made a return call and accepted the offer to go to Church. That was the Best decision of my life. Dec. 1st we will be celebrating our 20th wedding Anniversary.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Wow, he brought both love from him and the message of love from Christ. God was working in that story!

      Reply
  11. Lindsay Harold

    I met my husband at a Creation Research Society conference. It’s a long story how I even came to be there. I’m a bit of a nerd, have a degree in biology, and was interviewing for teaching positions. I was able to afford to go to the conference because of an interview where the college paid my travel expenses to the interview and I decided to go to the conference while I was in the area.

    Anyway, we met on the second day of the conference during the lunch period. I am an introvert and didn’t know anyone there, so I was looking for someone nice to talk to and not feel so overwhelmed by being alone in a room of strangers. We were in line near each other to get our lunches and he told a joke to the woman between us, which she didn’t get and I laughed at. That started us having a conversation, sitting at the same table, and then ended up sitting together in some of the afternoon sessions. We split up briefly and I came in to one of the talks just before it started, but it was packed and all the seats taken. He saw me come in and gave up his seat so I could sit down. That made an impression. We did some more talking afterwards. He gave me his card so I would remember his name.

    I signed up for an email list of the creation research society, which he was already on, and as soon as I joined and introduced myself, he emailed me to say welcome. We started emailing back and forth and a couple weeks later, I got that job I interviewed for – several states away from where I had been living, but just an hour and a half from where he lived. We started dating and quickly decided to get married.

    There were so many little things that built up to both of us even being there in the first place. And we knew just from both of us being there that we had a lot in common. I mean, how many people are crazy enough about creation science to attend a technical conference on it? I found out later that he left the conference where we met telling himself that he was going to marry me, even though he didn’t know how that would work considering we lived so far apart. God moved me closer so we could have a relationship. I never believed in the idea of “the one” who is a perfect match and who we are destined to marry, but our relationship has almost made me rethink that. 7 years of marriage and 3 kids later, we’re still crazy about each other.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Great story! And I love that moment of you getting his humor when others didn’t. That happened to us while dating, because my husband’s sense of humor can be quite dry, and he would crack me up when others didn’t always get it. He still cracks me up. Blessings!

      Reply
  12. Robert Stephens

    My wife and I first met in the 7th grade when my family moved, forcing me to switch schools. She was the cutest girl In school! I carried a heavy crush on her all the way through high school, during that time we became great friends but I was to insecure to ask her out. We lost touch after graduation as my career moved me all over the country for many years. Fast forward thirty years later. Reeling from a divorce, I moved back to my home town to lick my wounds. The first thing I did was get back in the church I grew up in and was saved. Lo and behold, a vision was sitting in the third row. The cutest girl in school was now the most beautiful woman! She as well, was getting over a bad marriage. A year later, I proposed and we married three months after. We just celebrated our 6th anniversary and it gets better every day. God opened a door for both of us and we are so blessed.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I’m always amazed by the people who knew their spouse early in life and found that love later in life. What a lovely story!

      Reply
  13. Alicia

    My husband and I met online in 2010. It was on a site called the Zone, which is basically a social networking site aimed at people who are blind. While it was not created to be a dating site, a ton of relationships have sprung out of its existence, probably more than its creators ever dreamed would. A very few of those have lasted, but most have not. I’ll be candid and say that I was not walking with God at that time. I believed in Him yes, but was very much ignoring His will and ways. And yet, when I read my now-husband’s profile on the site, in which he openly stated that he was a believer, something drew me to contact him. We spoke only as friends. He was in a previous marriage, and though I was not married, I was in a relationship. Many in our position could have stepped across the line from friends, but in our case, it didn’t happen. Speaking candidly for myself, since I wasn’t walking with Father at that time, it wasn’t so much out of integrity for me, as it was for him. I figured A, the guy was married, and to get in the middle of that would just bring drama I didn’t need. B, a man like him would never be attracted to a woman like me even if he weren’t. We kept in periodic contact until 2014. Him and his first wife had divorced for reasons way too private and complex to explain, and I was single again. I had also recently rededicated my life to the Lord. We began talking more, found we were attracted to each other, and it went from there. We became engaged in late 2014, but didn’t think we could ever get married because of the penalties that most with disabilities incur when they marry: a loss of their benefits, both Social Security and Medicaid, if they are on it. But we wanted to at least use the term fiance instead of the high-school sounding boyfriend/girlfriend, or partner. That, and we truly did hope somehow to marry at some point, even if we didn’t know when or how we could do it and still keep medical coverage and stay afloat financially. That was even more true in 2015 when he fought his first battle with cancer. It drove me stark-raving mad crazy when his medical team referred to me as his girlfriend, when I desperately longed to be his wife. But we didn’t dare jeopardize his medical coverage, given how astronomically expensive cancer treatment is. Choosing between legal marriage or his life was a lousy choice, IMHO. He went into remission, and at the beginning of 2016, we felt God calling us to take a step of faith and marry. We prayed extensively, and every time, what came to our minds were passages of Scripture where God called people to step out before He showed them how it was all going to work out. Abraham being told to sacrifice Isaac, and then God providing. The Israelites walking into the sea before God parted it. The three men in the furnace in the book of Daniel, being put there before knowing if God would spare them or not. Peter stepping out on the water without knowing whether he could walk on it or not, and Jesus saving him. So, we married in September of 16. I was humanly terrified of the medical and financial repercussions, but peaceful knowing that God had told us to do this, and as such, He would provide for us somehow. And I was overjoyed to marry the man I loved. As it turned out, God provided through a very specific set of loopholes in Social Security policy, so that we did not lose any of our disability income. And, even considered jointly, our incomes land us just under the cut-off threshhold for Medicaid, so we keep our coverage. Which is a darn good thing, given that my husband is now fighting his second battle with cancer. I would dearly love for us to be off these programs, and yet I’m grateful God provides through them until such time as we can be. Also grateful that I can now write the words “my husband,” and not just, “my fiance.”

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Ugh, it makes me angry when our system penalizes getting married. We should be encouraging that; there is even research showing better health outcomes for those who are married! Anyway, I applaud your decision to step out in faith, and I’m praying both for healing for your husband and for all of your needs to be covered in abundance. Thanks for sharing your story!

      Reply
  14. Jaimie Ramsey

    Since I was quite small, more than anything I wanted to be a wife and mother. I never dated in high school, because the boys I had interest in never returned it, and the only boy who ever asked me out was one I had absolutely no interest in dating! By the time I was ready for college I had decided that I didn’t need a boyfriend, I could be content with just God and my dad as the men in my life, and I was going to focus on school, making friends, and enjoying college.

    I met my husband the very first day we were on campus.

    It was in a “coffee shop” of sorts that had been started by people from area congregations as a place for the college students to hang out, have Bible studies, etc. I was with my roommate and some new friends and he was by himself playing chess. 🙂 They started talking with him first and then I came and joined the conversation. I’m very outgoing and he is an introvert, but I got him talking a bit, and then talked his ear off most of the rest of the afternoon. He hung out with me and my friends until we were ready to head back to campus. They caught a ride with another guy we’d just met, but I walked back the mile or so to campus with Joshua.

    Two days later (during which time he couldn’t remember my name, even when his mom asked–I sort of met his parents at the opening worship service for the semester) we realized we had a class together, and I made a beeline for the seat next to him. After two weeks of hanging out, mostly with our respective roommates, we were watching South Pacific in the lounge in his dorm building and ended up being left alone. During the movie we finally realized that we liked each other and decided we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend–after he kissed me for the first time. 🙂

    We were officially engaged about five months later, and got married about 15 months after that (wouldn’t recommend such a long engagement, by the way; that was really really hard!). As college students going to school full-time and working part-time we were dirt poor, but life was good and God was so gracious. Now we’ve been married six years, own our home, have two boys, I have a master’s degree and he’s working on his, and it is incredible to look back and see how much we’ve grown and how richly God has blessed us!

    I LOVE your story, by the way, J. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. 🙂 <3

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Sounds like that first kiss night truly was “Some Enchanted Evening” for y’all. (I know my old musicals pretty well.) And I agree with you about long engagements; I think about six months is long enough. We only did three, and with all of the DIY wedding stuff now, I think it would be easier these days even to do that.

      I love how you also had simply decided to be on your own also, and that’s when you two met. Sometimes it’s when we stopping looking for romantic love to fill us and focus instead on God’s love filling us that He decides we’re ready to have romantic love after all. From the overflow.

      Reply
  15. Lianna

    💘 My Husband’s and my story actually started back in 1999/2000 when Aaron saw my Graduation photo a mutual friend’s Christmas Party. Aaron even overheard the father talking about how he and my own Dad had discussed how hard it would be to find godly husbands for their daughters.
    During which time, due to some health issues, I had surrendered all hope of getting married to the Lord. Though the desire to be so never died, I had resigned myself to being single the rest of my life.

    💘 Fast forward to September 2013 With my parents help and guidance, I joined a dating website. Then on January 24, 2014 Aaron found me again on the dating website – 14 years later after seeing my photo at the Knight’s house.

    💘 ONE important Note!!! My hubby found me without having any pictures to guide him, he shut them all off so that he could focus on what each girl said. So, he found me again but without any pictures to tell him it was me.

    💘 We talked about everything – almost non stop – except to sleep. In March of 2014 we met face to face for the first time with my parents as Chaperones. During that visit, my parents were very impressed with my Future Hubby and gave their permission for him to ask me if I would be interested in making our relationship exclusive with marriage as the end goal. I said I was and an hour later we all left to go to our separate home states.

    💘 Little more than 2 months later, my parents and I drove 13 hours to visit my Hubby at his farm and meet his parents for the first time.
    During that visit, with my own parents full support for our relationship, my hubby and I became engaged while our future home was being completed. It was on May 3rd, 2014 – a warm summer day. We all went to Dangerfield, and at times throughout the day I could tell he was in decision making mode. But it wasn’t until 3 pm when we came home and that my hubby took me to the North-East corner of the property – where the creek merged into one vein – that is when he proposed. He sang our song “ Home In The Meadow “ ( a Debbie Reynolds song ) with his own personal touches, and I accepted.

    💘 So grateful for my Dad’s willingness to help Aaron finish our home! Dad took 2 more trips to Aaron’s farm to help complete our house.
    After Dad’s last trip to the farm in October, he brought Aaron back for a visit and he got to see our apartment and meet our family’s Maltese named Ranger.
    During Christmas, while we were apart, we were able to set the date for January of that next year.

    💘 And so, Aaron and I were married January of 2015! The prelude was a River Flows In You and Kiss The Rain; and I walked in to the tune of “ I Vow To Thee, My Country “. We didn’t want the run of the mill wedding by having Groomsmen, Bridesmaids or flower girls. It was just us, Aaron’s Pastors and my Dad who stood up there with us, taking turns in preforming the ceremony. We stood under a garden trellis, where the pulpit usually stood, it was decorated with grapevines and lights.
    After our vows, we walked down the isle while the Church sang “ O, God Beyond All Praising “ which has the same tune as “ I Vow To Thee, My Country “

    💘 I married Aaron with No hope of having children, but the Lord surprised us all with our precious baby girl who joined our family in October of 2015. So happy that my doctors were proved wrong!

    My cup is truly running over and am so grateful for all the Lord has brought about in Aaron’s and my life.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I really like how you and Aaron seemed to not only come together as one, but also joined two families. I bet you some super-happy grandparents in your lives. Many blessings!

      Reply
  16. Shelly Evans

    I met my husband at 19 years old at a church thing where we were the only 2 under 65 years old. I thought he was really cute. He had just gotten out of the Army and was living with his dad who went to the church we were at. God told Him I was going to be his wife that night. He didn’t tell me…
    That was in April and we were married by November. 7 months wasn’t long enough to get to know each other and there were many surprises. It has been a journey for sure, but here we are 22 years later. We have 4 kids, 3 here and one little boy in heaven.
    We’ve overcome a lot, including his pornography addiction and anger issues and my depression and insecurities and then the loss of our newborn son last February. God has been so faithful to us and has held us through it all.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Oh my word, my heart aches for the loss of your newborn son. May God comfort you both.

      Any 22-year marriage goes through lots of stuff, but you have gone through it together. I’m glad you both attended that church thing one night many years ago.

      Reply
  17. Elizabeth

    I married my backup plan aha!

    No really…I had a major crush on a guy from my church for over a year (he did ask me out on a date once…sort of…with his brother and male cousin…and now he’s dating my sister…wierd! But good. 🙂 ), anyways, finally I decided to crush this crush and I felt free and liberated…for about a week. Then I noticed Roland still hanging around and thought I might ease the pain a bit with talking to a boy that I thought might like me. I know, it’s the most horrible reason ever.

    We had met about half a year before…he’s from NS and I’m from ON, but he had come to school in ON and he came to my church to visit relatives.

    Well after I started to take notice of him, we talked…and talked…and talked some more. And then we dated for 10 months and got married! 2 years, a 17 mo old baby girl and going strong. Oh, I should add a thank you for this blog…it has really helped me be adventurous and it has really contributed to our sex life being so fantastic. 😉 I also appreciate your commitment to a godly perspective!

    P.S. I almost forgot to add…when I had first met my husband (while I was still majorly crushing on other guy) I said I would marry him. Yes, I did. We had just finished hosting a youth conference at my church, and clean up was taking forever, but my future husband stuck around to the very end helping out. I was so struck by this show of service that I commented to my sister as we were shaking out rugs ” I swear I’m going to marry that guy someday!” And I did…a year and a half later. 😀

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      It’s funny how we notice these things and think about how that will make for a good mate (me with seeing my husband heading to church…and taking out the trash, and you seeing your husband help out to the very end of an event). I bet your hubby is glad you struck up that conversation with him! And thanks for the encouragement; enjoy that “fantastic” sex life. 😉

      Reply
  18. Heidi

    My husband and I were high school sweethearts. It was a small school so it would have been hard NOT to meet him.
    Interestingly, we attended college together at one of Abilene’s “sister colleges” – Harding University. Many of our friends are alumni of ACU. I love small world moments.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Small world indeed: My parents attended Harding, and my grandfather worked there in the journalism department!

      Reply
  19. Kristina

    Loved reading your story! And all the comments.. It’s so fun to read and share life stories!
    Proud to say I married my high school sweetheart! We both played trumpet together in high school band, which is how we met. We started dating when I was 15(!) and got married when I was (barely)20. Been together for 7 years next month and I’m so so grateful God brought us together!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I loved high school band! Met some great people there. Sounds like you had an even better experience than I! 😉 Congrats.

      Reply
  20. Lucio J. Ochoa

    First time I Iaid eyes on my wife was the first school day on our second semester of college, I had been taking classes during mornings on the first semester but decided to switch to the afternoon classes, came in a bit earlier for my second class, proceeded to leave my back pack on a desk closer to the blackboard and went to the back of the room to talk to friends, a bit later she came in, and I remember exactly what she was wearing and what I thought: It was a green and white small checkered elastic top summer dress with straps, she walked in, left her things on one of the first row seats, and she walked out, I said to myself “she’s so pretty, it’s a pity she smokes…” We became friends, then good friends. I was the first one to know she was pregnant of her then boyfriend, and I congratulated her big time, not a single sign of worry or pity in my words or expression, she never forgot; all these after I drove her to talk to the guy, who never showed up.

    I used to visit her during the pregnancy, she was living alone at the time, one time she said “please do not fall in love with me…” I replied it was too late. She went away to give birth to the baby (Juan Pablo), I finally got to meet him when he was a little less than a year old, one night when I invited her to dinner out. After a very nice dinner I talked to her about my feelings, and she said we could give it a try. My response was: No need to try, if you don’t feel it is not there. After that I stopped contact with her, and tried to move on, had a girlfriend, broke up and two years went quickly by. One day I received a call from her, inviting me to accompany her to a friend’s singing presentation, after 3 or 4 outings more, where we as usual had a great time, she invited me to go with her to her younger sister’s High Scholl graduation dance (a big event attended not only by the graduating students, but by all the possible family members), after a really fun and excellent night dancing, talking and laughing, 20 minutes before the dance ended, I told her that if she was calling me as a friendly companion for outings to have fun I was not ok with it because she knew how I felt about her and then I was not interested in seeing her again, but if she thought we could be something more, I would be more than happy to be her boyfriend, to which she said yes, with no hesitation at all. Eight and a half years had gone by from the moment I first saw her to this day, June 17th 1991, on November 5th I proposed to her (kind of), she had bought a set of coffee tables from friends moving out of town, I said something about her not needing to do things alone anymore and how I was there for her and a few more things, she said “are you proposing to me?” (which I wasn´t exactly) But I immediately said yes. We had our civil marriage on April 24th 1992, and our Church Wedding on October 31st that same year, with us that little boy, that for a time I so badly wished could have been my son, which he became. We will be celebrating our 25th anniversary this year along with our three sons and one daughter. Up to this days, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and see her sleeping next to me, and thank God for the love he sent into my life.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      How lovely that you entered her life and become a family, including her little boy. Thanks for sharing your story!

      Reply
  21. Karen

    J,

    This sounds EXACTLY like our story. I moved to Texas without a job, just feeling like it was time to leave the East Coast, and after a string of short-lived relationships, ready to just give up in that area. Two weeks later I met my now-husband, and eight months after we met we were married. I love reading your blog, bu knowing your story and how closely it mirrors mine just made it that much better!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      WOW! You aren’t kidding — how alike our stories are! And I’m assuming you married a Texan? Because one thing I didn’t mention was that my hubby and I grew up in cities in Texas about 2 1/2 hours away (which is a short distance in Texas). But I had to go to New Mexico to get my Texan husband, which I also consider a blessing. 😉

      Reply
  22. T

    My husband and I basically grew up together. Our dads had known each other from childhood, in fact my uncle and my hubby’s dad were best friends in high school and their young adult years 😊. So his family was kind of acquaintances of my dad’s when I was younger. I don’t actually remember ever seeing him though, until we were about 9 or 10 years old in a swim class at the YMCA. Our families became closer friends by the time we were 12 or 13, and we started doing more together. When I was 14, we started attending his church. We were good friends, but I couldn’t decide if I really “liked” him as more than that. By the time I was 15, though, that had definitely changed 😉 At 16, I felt the Lord confirming to me that I would marry him someday. I kept it quiet. Honestly at first it freaked me out. It was exactly what I desired, but it made me so nervous at the same time. When? Would I be ready? Can I handle knowing this and not act super awkward around him? I valued our friendship so much and my biggest fear was things becoming awkward haha. But I started praying about it, and praying for my future hubby more than ever. It was awesome to be able to see God doing specific things in his life that I was praying for him for. We both matured and grew in the Lord so much in those late teen years, and part of it for me was how he encouraged me in the Lord when we would talk, and being driven to pray for him. He inspired (and still inspires) me so much in how he lives before the Lord. Its so pure and beautiful. He’s not perfect, but his heart is after God’s and thats super attractive 😊 Anyways, we got engaged in May of 2015 without ever dating or talking about marriage. We both just knew. (He told me later he had prayed since he was 14 he would get to marry me. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.) We got married in August, just 9 weeks after we were engaged. We were 18 years old. We laugh at how we did things so quickly, but when you know, you know, and when you’re ready, why wait? Haha We are loving married life, and though we have had some “unexpecteds” already (like our first daughter being born 3 months premature and spending 80 days in the nicu) we are growing together through it and love getting to live life with our best friend 😊 Your blog has been such an encouragement to me as a new wife, especially as we learn and grow in our intimacy. Thank you!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I think some people discount how young love really can last. Sometimes the person you date when you’re a teenager really is the one with whom you can forge a life together. Especially when their hearts are turned toward God. And you did just that. How wonderful!

      Reply
  23. Deb

    Hi, I’m from Australia. When I was 16, I met a couple who had come to visit some friends of theirs who were also my friends. As this new couple travelled home after the weekend, the wife said to her husband of me, “that is the wife for my brother”. I had a very serious boyfriend at the time who I ended up breaking up with because I eventually wanted to marry a christian who could share my whole life. After that I dated a Christian who was not right for me. When I was 18, my friends invited me to go camping with them to visit the people I had met when I was 16. It was a set-up and I was introduced to her brother. This couple had tried to set her brother up with other girls before and he was a bit over it, and had planned to go away for the weekend, but stayed out of curiosity. It worked!! We were engaged six months later and married five months after that. There have been many times that I have felt that we did not take long enough to get to know each other properly. We certainly have had our share of troubles – we have both changed over the years and sometimes I think you just have to choose to fall in love all over again with the one you made your vows to. We have been married 30 years now, have six children and four grandchildren. God has done some amazing things in our lives and I appreciate this blog for inspiring me to keep loving my husband in ways that mean so much to him 😉
    PS. I have loved hearing everyone’s stories!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      How marvelous to have good friends match you two! And I agree with the idea of falling in love again, over and over in marriage. Congrats on 30 years!

      Reply
    2. Carolyn

      Where in Australia are you? We are in Brisbane, arrived for 28 years and have 7 children and 2 grandchildren.

      Reply
  24. Doug

    Great story!

    “The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.”
    🙌🏼

    Reply
  25. Ngina Otiende

    What a beautiful story, J! You were so brave to venture out like that! But look what God had in store. I’ve driven through West Texas (rather my husband does the driving) and it reminds me of the African savannah – in fact last week we were joking the only thing missing is wild animals!

    My husband and I met in church, at a leadership class where we were both serving. It was “like at first sight” for both of us but it took two years for him to say anything. (actually he said something really early..a big “no” to anything more than a friendship). But by the time he was reconsidering two years later, my heart was broken – by someone else – and I was not in the mood for love. Plus my dad had just passed away. But God had other ideas and 14months later, we got married!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      What do you mean? Armadillos aren’t wild animals? 😉

      I’m glad your husband finally spoke up! And I’m sure he’s happy he did too. I’m not the least bit surprised, however, that you two meet at a church leadership class. Blessings!

      Reply
  26. K

    Not that I expect anyone to read this, haha, but I figured I’d share while I reflect on God’s work bringing my husband and I together 🙂

    Like you, J, I had sworn off dating. So much so, that I was planning on becoming a nun (before leaving the Catholic Church for a reformed one). Anywho, my dad was appalled at this idea, being an atheist, and insisted I go to college. I opted to attend nursing school, knowing I could work as a nurse while living in a monestary. This is all quite comical now. Anywho, my college had a required school orientation day… being an introvert, I was pretty irritated to have to attend. I wound up at a “religious activities” meeting, which had maybe 10 other students. A girl representing the Christian fellowship group spoke, among people with other religions. This girl sought me out on FB to ensure I would get connected in the regular meetings. I avoided them for the first couple months, but got sick of her pestering and finally went. Turns out she is now my best friend, and she introduced me to my husband there. He and I dated for 18ish months when he proposed (it was fully expected, and not romantic at all haha), and we were engaged for 6 months. God is so good.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      What a blessing this young lady was in your life. And how wonderful to meet your husband this way! God is indeed good.

      Reply
  27. Kristina

    First off, J, thank you so much for this blog! I have only discovered it in the last few months, but as a newlywed, I have greatly appreciated all the content, advice, and encouragement it has provided. This will be my first comment 🙂
    My husband and I met online not quite two years ago. We were both ready to find someone to marry (not in a desperate way, but in a “either this is leading to marriage or we’re wasting our time” kind of way). We clicked pretty much from the very beginning, and found out that we had tons in common in terms of ways we were raised, the direction we wanted our lives to go, and of course our faith. We met in person after about a week and a half (we lived about 5 hours apart), and managed to see each other every weekend throughout the next six months, after which I moved to his city. We knew when I moved there that we would get engaged soon after unless things went very differently than we anticipated. I was blessed to find a place to live that was only 5 minutes from his place, and so we spent most of our non-working-and-sleeping hours together. He proposed three months late, and we got married another three and half months after that.
    We thought our timeline was quite quick (though not a quick as J and some of the other commenters!), but have no regrets with our timeline (other than a wee bit longer to plan the wedding might have eased a bit of that pressure!) We are also expecting a baby in three months, so our newlywed phase will be pretty short but it’s all in God’s plan 🙂

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I’m amazed at how many people now meet online. That just wasn’t an option when I was younger, and I only knew one person ever who met their spouse through a personal ad. But it does seem to be a good tool for people meeting these days, and I’ve found that online personalities and real-life personalities are the same as long as you’re authentic. Glad y’all got together! Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  28. B

    This was a great post and I loved reading the other stories as well!

    My story isn’t quite as romantic, but as I’ve been married for over 20 years (even though I was only 19 when we wed) I guess I’d say it has a happy ending.
    Neither one of us was a Christian at the time.
    I was lifeguarding at the campground where my husband as his family spent their summers. I had noticed my husband and thought he was REALLY attractive, but I didn’t think he’d ever even notice me. He talked to me a couple times and one day asked me out. I couldn’t believe a guy that cute and interesting would ever ask me out. Then I had to get past my parents because I was 16 and he was 21. (I may have fibbed and told my parents he was 20 – it sounded better to me.)
    The day that was supposed to be our first date, I cut my leg on a pipe that someone had hammered into the ground on the lakeside where there was no swimming. I was running down there to get some kids out of the “no swimming” part of the lake. I didn’t see the pipe in the weeds and sliced my leg on the rusty lip of the pipe. I ended up having to go to the hospital to get patched up. My now-husband had gone to take a shower before taking me out after work, but when he came back, I was gone – on my way to the hospital. When I got home, he took me out anyway for a very late dinner at a pizza shop. It was sweet.
    The next night we had an even better date at the boardwalk and the beach. We’ve been together ever since.

    The sad part is, I had been so excited about him asking me out and us eventually falling in love. A few years after our wedding, my brother-in-law burst my bubble by informing me that the day my husband had asked me out, he was really looking for a different girl. I knew her. She was another camper. She was petite and brunette (which I now know is hubbys preference in women) and with a much better body than mine. I can certainly see why my husband would have been interested. But according to my BIL, she wasn’t around that day, so my husband decided to just ask me out instead. Not exactly a love story!

    For years I let that information really beat me up and deplete my already fragile self esteem. I hated knowing I had been my husband’s second choice. I hated knowing that if the beautiful girl had been there that day, he wouldn’t have ever even considered asking me out. I hated knowing that he had not, in fact, been ineterested in me, but saw me as a consolation prize. My brother in law’s revelation destroyed what turned out to be my “imaginary” love story.

    But then, I got tired of fighting that demon. I can’t change it. I can’t rewind time and catch his eye. I can’t rewind time and be the girl he chose. All I can do is be happy with how things turned out. Maybe God had the beautiful girl go home early that day so my husband and I would end up together. I’ll never know for sure. But on the bright side, we did fall in love, we both came to know the Lord a couple years into our marriage, and we had a couple great kids. We’re still married 20+ years later, so even though we don’t have a love story, at least we have a pretty good marriage.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I kinda want to smack your brother-in-law. Why would he say that?! And you’re right: Even if he showed up that day thinking about asking another girl out, he asked YOU out, and keep dating YOU, and asked YOU to marry him, and married YOU, and stayed married to YOU all these years. That sounds to me like his type is you. (And gee, can you teach me how to swim better? I’m really not a great swimmer and probably would have never picked up my guy if we’d met at a pool, because I’m the girl who stops halfway across the pool to violently gasp air. Not exactly attractive.)

      Reply
  29. Mrs Happy

    I married the boy next door too!

    When I was 15 God promised me that I’d have a husband and children. At 18 I was in a manipulative relationship that left me with some damage. Then I was single for a long time. When I was 28, I felt sure God was speaking about a specific guy, and it went to and fro between looking like something would happen, then nothing. I held like a vice to the words I felt so sure God have given, both generally and specifically for this guy. Then, one day God finally told me to be brave and talk to this guy about it. When I called him to arrange a time to chat he was incredibly rude, and I felt like God told me clearly a no.

    Then I went through a period of wondering if I’d actually heard from God – how could He possibly fulfill the specific words (such as where I would meet my husband) with anyone else? I had to surrender my “rights” to be married and have children. I came to understand God’s sovereignity better, and to trust Him more deeply. I gave up actively looking for a husband (but not refusing opportunities to meet people or pursue dates if they came along).

    One day, when I was 29, I heard that some new boys were moving into the church house next door. Our church owned two houses which were student residences, and I lived in the girl’s house. Normally students moving in were teenagers fresh out of high school, but I wondered if an older man might come along…

    On the day one of them moved in, I had to go next door to the church to discuss something with the pastor. As I walked over I saw a young man about my age in the church gardens, talking on his phone. He was kinda nerdy looking, and not the sort of guy I would go for, but I felt what can only be described as my spirit leaping. A bit more wary of trusting my feelings or what I think might be words of God (before they are fully tested), I didn’t think much of it. He did not see me. so I carried on and got chatting with the pastor in his office.

    In walked the young man from the gardens, flashing the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen. The pastor introduced us and then had to take a phone call. We chatted while he was on the phone.

    A few weeks latter on church family camp, we began to get to know each other better. We shared a similar taste in movies, and even had the same Myer’s Briggs personality type.

    We were both cautious (him more than me) but to me it was so obvious that he liked me. One day I did him a favour and drove him to where he’d left his broken down car. Casually he asked me what I was doing later. I answered that my Dad was coming to dinner, not thinking that he could have meant anything by it.

    Later I had a revelation – what if he had been trying to ask me out, or at least hang out with me? I talked to my pastor about it, and he was like – you have to let him know that you are open to the idea of going out with him. He’s a shy guy! If that was his attempt at asking you out, he may not ask again because it sounds like you knocked him back!

    So I summoned the courage and had the most awkward conversation of my life, and it turned out that though he wasn’t specifically asking me out at that point, he was interested in dating me. A few weeks later he actually plucked up the courage to ask me on a date, and the rest is history so to speak. We dated for 8 months, he proposed, and then 4 months later, almost exactly a year after our first date we were married.

    And yes, I don’t know how God did it, but every single word He’d spoken that I thought was about the other guy was fulfilled in my husband.

    We got married in June (the winter solstice in Australia) in a fairy tale, medieval influenced wedding. We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary, and we have a 9 month old son and we couldn’t be happier!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      What a marvelous story! God certainly worked in your life and in your heart. And how amazing that you have the same MBTI type! My hubby and I are one letter apart, and oh, what a difference that sometimes makes. 😉

      Reply
      1. B

        All of these stories are nice to read. It’s nice to read happy things.

        Interestingly, my husband and I are exact opposites on the MBTI. We are opposite in each and every letter. It is nothing short of a miracle that we are still together, but I guess there’s some truth to “opposites attract!”

        Actually, learning our types and reading about them has been very helpful. It has certainly given us something to talk about and helped each other understand the others own unique brand of “crazy”. 😊

        Reply
        1. J Post author

          I love the MBTI personality assessment and how we can use it to each understand each other. It helps spouses avoid assuming the wrong motivations for their mate and give more grace.

          Reply
  30. Happily Married

    Aww..what a sweet post! I love it and all the awesome stories.

    My husband is from Oregon, I’m from Nebraska. We met in Warrenton, MO where we were attending the same ministry training. We talked and something just clicked. Within two weeks I knew he was the one for me. I would love him the rest of my life and I couldn’t marry anyone else. I can’t even explain it. We shared a unique bond that my parents couldn’t believe! 😉 After a long distance relationship, waiting on God’s timing, and lots of challenges we got married 5 years later and will be welcoming our second daughter any day now! We both serve God together in full time ministry and some days I still can’t believe I got to marry the man of my dreams….marriage can be hard, but I always looks back and know that God knit us together and called us to each other and He works can, does and will work it all out.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Isn’t that a great feeling to know that God had a hand in your coming together? I personally didn’t feel like that at the time, but soon after I could see all the pieces coming together in a strange, divine way. All the best with the new child on her way!

      Reply
  31. Praying wife

    Lovely stories!

    Me and my husband met when I started coming to his church (which I found by accident, or more likely providence, due to my bike being punctured in the same block). We had only talked once when I was invited to a different church to talk about a mission trip I had been on. It turned out one of the leaders in that small house church was my future mother-in-law. The second she first saw me she heard a voice inside her saying “Here comes my son´s wife”. She started praying for this to happen but didn´t tell anyone for a whole year. After a year of prayer when she hadn´t seen any signs of us even hanging out together, she finally swore her prayer group to secrecy and asked them to pray as well. About five months later she came home from work, listened to the messages on her machine, including one from her son telling her he now had a girlfriend, i e me.

    We really needed all that prayer. Unbeknown to her we had become friends during this time (due to being stranded alone together for five hours at a train station on our way home from church camp) but it soon grew complicated. Won´t bore you with the details but we very nearly ended our friendship but instead chose the other path and decided to get married instead. We never officially (or inofficially for that matter) dated until after that decision. I really thought we were just good friends… (yes, emotionally underdeveloped at the time). So when my husband called her mother to tell her he had a girlfriend, we had already decided to get married, but didn´t want to shock her so he told her only the girlfriend part to start with 🙂

    She told us the story of the Lord speaking to her and all the praying that had taken place only after we had gotten married. No one knew except her and her prayer group and not one of them let on.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      What an amazing tale about the power of power! And yeah, being stranded alone for five hours had to kick off something. Glad it was a friendship that became a romance and a marriage.

      Reply
  32. Racheal

    I don’t find it strange at all how quickly you and Spock married, J.
    Rick and I had a whirlwind experience too.

    I’d recently moved interstate, 19 years old and just finished bible college and started attending the church my Uncle and Aunty pastored. Before long a middle aged woman befriended me and asked if my cousin and I would like to attend a prayer meeting her son was starting. Like you, I was the introvert who found situations like that scary…but since my cousin Steve was happy to go, I decided to follow along.

    It baffled me that I was the only female at 90% of these meetings. Where I came from, there were loads of young women who loved God and met for fellowship, but not many young men. This was the opposite. A room full of young men, and me. And many of them were ex-crims who had met Jesus.
    It made me wonder if I’d end up married to one of them. The meetings were at Rick’s house, and I had a lot of respect for the zeal Rick had for God…but I had no romantic interest in him, and actually was more interested in his best friend. But thankfully I never was the flirt and always waiting to see what God would do. And the interest in his friend passed.

    I have an intercessor of a Grandma, and one day she sent a letter saying she believed the Lord had told her I was going to be married soon! Anyway, very shortly after that (and it was about 6 months after meeting Rick) I was quietly in my room when I heard the clear voice of God tell me I was going to marry Rick. I was shocked to say the least…even crying myself to sleep (not from sorrow, but from shock!). I asked God what I should do. Silence. He just didn’t say anymore. So I concluded that I wasn’t to do anything yet. We went to lots of mutual meetings and outings with other friends, with me always wondering if Rick knew anything about this!

    For 6 months there was no seen developments. Little did I know that he’d liked me for a long time, and had prayed for God to just take the desire away if it wasn’t from Him. He prayed this while riding his motorcycle past a street which just happened to be called “Isaac St”. Then he knew he needed to give this to God, like Abraham did with Isaac. He then had the peace that this was from God, and so he mustered up the courage to come to my place and talk to me about it. He rode that motorbike up our street 3 times before he actually managed to come to our door!

    I was getting ready for work when the knock at the door came. I answered and he made some conversation about a relative of mine we were praying for, and then he asked me out for coffee!
    “This is it, he knows” I thought to myself.
    Stupidly, I answered him “I don’t drink coffee.”
    But thankfully my dopey answer didn’t deter him. We arranged for him to meet me at the house I was housesitting later in the week.
    Here’s the fun part…he turned up that night looking like he had something VERY distracting on his mind. He made some small talk and then jumped right in with “Has God told you who you’re going to marry?”
    “Yep” I answered.
    He nodded and probed with “Have you met him yet?”
    “Yep” I answered again.
    A few moments of silence past before he finally stated “It’s me, isn’t it?”
    “Yes” I answered again.
    That was met with “Hallelujah! But do you even like me?” (Don’t worry, I told him I did :-))

    We got engaged that night, he went straight back to my house to ask my Dad’s permission. We married 3 months later. We’d never dated! People didn’t believe me when I said I was engaged and there’d been no boyfriend previously!
    We quickly became best friends and that was 13 years and 6 children ago 🙂

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      What. A. Story. Thanks for sharing!

      And this is probably smallest detail in your story, but I don’t like coffee either. So I completely understood your knee-jerk response. That would have been me too! 🙂

      Reply
  33. Wayne

    It’s said God specializes, not just in the unlikely, but the impossible, and my marriage is a witness to that. We are a lot alike in many ways, complete opposites in others, and very compatible. I moved around constantly with an academic family; she has lived in one area all her life. I’m Midwestern, she’s East Coast. She grew up in church; I did not. We’re interracial, and though race itself was never an issue in my (white) family or hers, my faith forced me to take a stand, and not that many years ago. Long story there. This is her second marriage, my first.

    I am saying all this to emphasize that there is no way we would have met without God bringing us and keeping us together. God spoke to her on a bus and told her she would marry again. (To which she said, What?!). God also spoke to me when we were in different states, but around the same time: “You will marry”. We met on a site that was pre-internet, in 1993; you left phone messages. We both wanted someone who loved the Lord. I had tried the personals for years. She remains the only one who has ever answered, and that I could reach in turn.

    No children of my own, but she has three grown ones, two with kids of their own who call me grandpa. We’ve been married 23 years. Physically, intimately, spiritually and otherwise, we know and love each other as well as any two people can.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I’m always flabbergasted that race is still an issue with anyone regarding marriage. I understand the challenge of coming from different backgrounds, but race is mainly physical characteristics like skin color. What’s the big deal about pigmentation? I honestly do shake my head at that one. It doesn’t make sense to me.

      And twenty-three years with that marvelous meet story? How wonderful! God is good.

      Reply
      1. Wayne

        Yes, the different backgrounds, especially the spiritual, or ‘religious’ or lack thereof, or moving all the time vs. not, I can readily relate to that. The cultural differences are valid. We invalidate that other false issue every day, and I thank you for making the distinction. Fortunately, there have been zero blatant incidents. Mainly,God is great, and we love each other.

        Reply
  34. Ellie

    Ahh yes. This story. I love this story, because it proves to me how much a sense of humor god has…I was a determined, stubborn 17 year old, working in retail, convinced I didn’t need a man.

    He was hired about a year later…6 months later we were trading work and taking lunch breaks together. 1 year after that we were dating….now 3 .5 years after meeting, marriage is the next step.

    He is everything my 17 year old self said I was NOT going to date/marry, but god has a way of changing the hardest heart. He has a way of putting people together; opposites really do attract. He is the black and white to my color. I think God must get a kick out of watching us learn to work together, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I get it: God definitely has other plans! For instance, one thing I swore in college: I will never marry a business major. What did I marry? A business major. Funny how that happens! (And those wondering why I’d swear that off, I just had a bad dating history with a few guys from that department. But God made me eat my words.)

      Reply
  35. Mike

    Our new pastor came from a Baptist church in Long Beach, California. I was born in Long Beach, but my parents had moved to Buena Park about 30 miles away. My new pastor’s former youth pastor invited our youth group to his church for a combined event that happened to be in the house of my future wife. She was in the 11th grade and had a boyfriend. She had recently become a Christian and was on fire for the Lord. She was a force in her family, church and school for the Lord. The first thing I noticed about her was her powerful leadership in this group. What she said was followed by everyone there. I remember thinking I want a wife like that.

    I was just graduating from High School and on my way to a college near by. I had found the Lord a couple of years earlier and was pegged as a leader in our youth group. I was even asked to be the Junior youth pastor (4th, 5th, 6th graders). I was thinking that I was being called into the pastoral ministry and saw a very long difficult journey to get there. So, I was looking for a Christian wife who would want to be in ministry and not be drawn into the desires of riches, wealth, houses and jewels. There were not many girls who wanted to live a life of sacrifice and poverty.

    At the same time my wife and her best friend Barbara both dedicated their lives to the Lord and marring men who were going into full-time Christian service.

    When my new pastor came to our church his wife invited this girl to visit them. I began to see her in church on occasion. The pastor’s wife became a matchmaker and began to pave the way for us to see each other. They would invite both of us to go water skiing with them at Marine Stadium. She would be invited to special events at our church.

    My first job was in the Buena Park recreation department. Then my future wife got a job in a neighboring recreation department in Garden Grove and invited my girls softball team to play her softball team. We began to see each other every Thursday. One day she said, “I enjoy seeing you every Thursday.” That scared me so much I did not see her for a month.

    My pastor moved to another church, but before they left they arranged for my future wife to have a place to stay on weekends. So, every weekend she would show up in church. I found out recently that all the girls glared at her when I would sit next to her in church. Then she volunteered to help me minister to kids together.

    My future wife’s grandmother was from Norway and invited the whole family on a cruse to Norway. They would be gone 6 weeks. I needed her to be gone so I could figure out if she was the one God wanted for me. I knew when she walked off the plane whether I loved her or not. 6 weeks went by, I was to pick her up at the airport, the plane was delayed, she finally came in at 3 a.m. I went to the gate and once I saw her come off the plane I knew I loved her and would ask her to marry me.

    I had a camp counseling assignment that August and was away for the next week. When I came back I planned to ask her to marry me. I bought an affordable ring, invited her to Huntington Beach and asked her to marry me. She said “yes” and was hoping I would ask. I wanted to be financially secure before marriage, so I suggested waiting 3 years. She balked at that and we were married December 18, 1964, four months later. We lived over a garage for $50 a month including utilities.

    I wanted to marry a strong leader, yet be Biblically submissive to me as the husband. We have struggled over that issue during our marriage. But after 52 years we are finally getting a hang of it.

    My wife’s best friend Barbara, whom she brought to the Lord, married Kent. They went to a large church in Chicago area. I have heard them on radio on occasion talking about family issues. He has written several volumes on the Bible. My wife married me, a rural, small church pastor who has written nothing and freeze when talking on the radio. Yet, after 50 years these two wives got together and they shared how similar they lives and ministries were. They even started to write a book together to encourage their grandchildren.

    We have had some ups and downs in our relationship. One of the downs was we had a sexless marriage for a number of years. On the upside, we have reconnected sexually for the last couple of years. Our sex life is the best it has ever been. So, I thank you for your ministry to married couples and the help with sexual intimacy.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      So many of these stories involve finding each other as you’re growing closer to God. I think that’s beautiful! And I’m so glad my blog can help marriages, even those with more miles than my own. 🙂

      Reply
  36. J Post author

    I’ve loved hearing these stories! I suspect there will be a few more that trickle in.

    Also, I’m a little surprised no one asked why Spock was wearing a knee brace when we met, since that’s such an odd detail. He’d recently torn the ACL in his knee and was waiting for surgery. How he tore his ACL is another story about recreational softball with the city league, an unfortunate pivot as he was running to second base, a pop and tear in his knee, and then rolling over a few times AFTER he was injured to make sure he touched base and was called safe. He’s a little competitive. But then I am too, so… 🙂

    Reply
  37. Keelie Reason

    I think it is amazing how you picked a place on the map and just up and moved there. How amazing! I would never do that. 😀

    I met Austin at my home church when I was 15. He had moved to the area, met my best friend at school, and she invited him to our youth group. We started dating at 16 and we’ve been together ever since.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I’m amazed how many commenters met their spouse while in their teens! I wasn’t nearly mature enough then to spot the right guy. But I’m glad you did! Blessings.

      Reply
  38. Haley

    Thank you for sharing your story 🙂 My husband and I met in high school and started dating when I was 16 and he was 17. We were both super immature and went through a ton of ups and downs in our relationship, but for some reason I always felt like hanging on and kept fighting for us. We grew together for five and a half years until he proposed, were engaged for another year and just celebrated our two year wedding anniversary, but we’ve been together for a total of eight and a half years! When people ask how long we’ve been married I always make sure to add our total time together too, since that’s much more impressive 😉 We worked hard for all those dating years! but being married is seriously the best. We are so thankful that God brought us together and kept us together all that time. He was preparing us for an awesome marriage. Super thankful for your, website too! Been silently gaining info and wisdom from it without commenting for a while now. Thank you!

    Reply
    1. Keelie Reason

      I know how you feel about working so hard in those dating years. We are the same. We dated for 5 1/2 years and were engaged for under a year. We add those dating years to our years “together” also. 😀 It makes almost 20 for us. 😀

      Reply
  39. Katarina

    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I had gone through a horrible breakup which ended by my boyfriend at the time who said he loved me turning around and saying he wasn’t attracted to be any more. I was heartbroken and was moving into dorms in university for freshman year and leaving my best friends all at the same time. I ended up with depression for a while and it was a huge mess. Before I decided to go to university, I had looked into a missions opportunity in Germany (my family is from there) to just get away and do something for God. Well I inquired but never followed up.

    Then a year later at that exact horrible time (but in God’s perfect timing) I got an email out of the blue asking if I was still interested in going to Germany! It was the absolute right thing at the right time. I decided to be brave and move to a different continent by myself for 1 year. Somehow I just knew that God was calling me and I couldn’t say no.

    Well wouldn’t you know it that God called my future husband (who is from the US and I am from Canada – so we never would have met otherwise) there to that same tiny town and tiny (20-30people) church. He was doing an internship for his degree in ministry.
    We fell in love in the whirlwind three months that he was there. And it was fast – the first week we met he asked if there was any chance for a future so he would know whether or not it was worth it to pursue me – talk about surprising and romantic!! We then dated long distance for a year. We spent hours on Skype and visited each other when we could (once every 4 months or so). At one point we decided this is crazy, why are we torturing ourselves when we want to be married anyway! Why don’t you move here and let’s get married 3 months from now! After an incredible proposal and very hurriedly planned wedding, we were married. Three years later here we are 🙂

    To this day we half-jokingly say that we just had no choice other than get married, since God made it just so obvious that He wanted us to meet and be together!

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      Wow, people call me brave for moving to another state sight unseen, but you moved to another continent! What an amazing story of God’s provision and whirlwind love. Blessings!

      Reply
  40. Bethany

    “I remember the trepidation I had stepping across the threshold, or rather forcing myself to step across that threshold. I would have much rather been at home eating drive-through food and reading a book.” – Oh my goodness how I feel this! I literally had to dare myself to walk into the audition where I encountered the man who would become my husband.

    I joined the local renaissance festival, and the last thing I expected to come out of it was a husband. But all the little things that happened to bring us together – my casting as a lady with no partner, the young man who had had his eye on me who stepped in to dance when I was standing alone, the event where that same young man filled in last minute for the gentleman who had to work late (and we ended up walking around for 4 hours together), the fact that my sister had recently persuaded me to get on this new site called “Facebook” where we were able to connect and continue our conversation, our mothers’ love of ABBA, a tea party performance where I had to kiss someone and it turned out to be him – so many little things that brought us together far quicker than I ever intended. From our first dance (as cast mates) to our first date (unofficial because cast mates weren’t allowed to date), to engagement and then marriage it was all just 8 months. As you said, something I wouldn’t necessarily recommend, but it worked for us (and yeah, short engagement because FEELINGS, lol).

    We have been married 8 1/2 years now, and God shows His blessing to us everyday. Three children (one spending unexpected time in the hospital with surgeries) later I see him as not only a husband, but a loving father as well. He is my heart, and he reminds me daily that I am his. As I watch some of the marriages around me falter and fail I wonder regularly how I am so blessed. I am tearing up now thinking about it. No life is perfect, but God is so good.

    One of the reasons I read your blog is encouragement and advice to build our relationship, so thank you for that. Thank you also for the opportunity to dredge up these memories again, to be reminded of all those little things, and that initial rush of romantic love I had never felt before I met my husband. It’s good sometimes to look behind and see how it affects our going forward.

    Reply

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