It’s every parent’s nightmare: Your child walks in while you’re “wrestling” with your spouse. Has it happened to you?
My mother-in-law had moved and her house was empty, so our family stayed there during a brief vacation. Hubby and I took the master bedroom and sacked out on an air mattress, while the kids snuggled into sleeping bags in a bedroom on the other side of the house.
Unfortunately, in order to get the house ready for sale, all of the doorknobs had been changed and the master bedroom no longer had a lock. Now do you think that being in his parents’ house, with no comfortable bed, and a missing door lock stopped my husband from proposing morning maneuvers? Absolutely not!
One might suggest that I could have pointed out the difficult circumstances in which we were operating, but it was early morning, the house was quiet, and I figured the kids were asleep. Right? Wrong!
At an integral moment, shall we say, the knob jiggles, the door swings open, and my husband and I cease all movement. (Thank heaven the covers were completely over us.) My sweet child pops in and asks a question. With me on my back and my husband hovering over me, we calmly responded and said we’d be out in a moment.
Child closes door.
Wife shoves husband off.
Intimate moment over.
I don’t think my kid knew what was happening, but someday he may find himself in a conversation with teenagers about whether their parents have sex and it will suddenly occur to him what he witnessed as a child. His blood pressure will rise, his face will flush, and his brain will come close to exploding from the very thought of it.
I know mine did — when I realized years later that I had come into my parents’ room after something had happened. Several of my friends had similar revelations (or even eyewitness testimony, bless their hearts) they could recount in their teen or college years.
Suffice it to say that parents have sex. Thus, the children.
I want my children to know that their parents are intimate. I want them to understand that God has blessed married couples with this beautiful way of expressing committed love. But I definitely don’t want them to think about it too much. No visuals, please.
So for the rest of our marriage, I am insisting that the door be locked! In fact, now that my oldest has figured out where the key is and can reach it, I may need to go further. A dead bolt? A portcullis? A retinal eye scan lock? There must be some way to make sure no kid ever enters the inner sanctum during our hot-and-heavy moments.
What are you doing to convey to your kids that you express intimate love with your spouse? Or to prevent them from knowing exactly how?