Hot, Holy & Humorous

Wives Want Sex: Link Up

Rembrandt's Woman in Bed
Where is my husband?
Rembrandt [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Sometimes in the blogosphere, there is a sort of synergy — like sparks of electricity that eventually connect and form a strand of sizzling power.  And that’s what seems to be happening lately with the subject of wives who desire sex more than their husbands.

Since this is a topic that isn’t discussed nearly often enough, and too many wives suffer in silence and don’t know where to turn, today’s post is devoted to providing links to blogs that have discussed the topic.  Somewhere in here, I hope that a wife somewhere out there can find the help she needs to handle this difficult challenge. 

One Flesh Marriage (Kate and Brad Aldrich) posted “I Can’t Remember the Last Time My Husband Touched Me!” – Part 1 and Part 2.   

Intimacy in Marriage (Julie Sibert) recently featured a guest post from the Kentucky Colonel at A Grown Up Marriage entitled Wives Who Are Sexually Refused.  

Julie Sibert has also published on her own site a post called Wives Who Want More Sex. And Aren’t Getting It. 

The Marriage Bed (Paul Byerly) has an extensive post covering this subject at Spouse Won’t Have Sex. 

I found an interesting post from Good Women entitled Sex: I Want It More Than My Husband, which details how a woman with a sex drive stronger than her husband’s might feel. 

Some time ago, Christian Nymphos posted an article called Help! High Sex Drive!!! with some general tips about this situation. 

Dr. Dave Currie also piped in on this subject in the Power to Change website, with Help! My Husband Doesn’t Want Sex. 

Marriage Missions asked the question How Much Sex is Normal? because more and more wives are seeking sex therapy when their husbands have lost their drive. 

Sheila Wray Gregoire of To Love, Honor and Vacuum wrote 4 Reasons Your Husband Doesn’t Want to Make Love (added 9/14/11).

I posted my own thoughts at Hot, Holy & Humorous on how wives struggle when they want sex and hubby doesn’t in She Wants, He Doesn’t Want. 

Scan through the resources and see what you can glean from the wisdom here.  Certain articles may be more applicable to your situation than others.  The point is that you are not alone! Unfortunately, plenty of wives experience sexual rejection from their husbands.

God’s gift of sexuality is for a husband and a wife to mutually desire, please, and enjoy one another in physical intimacy that strengthens the relational bond between them.  It is not acceptable for one person to opt out of that plan.  If you vow to love and cherish, that includes physically as well.

Know that you are loved by God and He wants the best for you.  Try to get some answers.  Seek help.

5 thoughts on “Wives Want Sex: Link Up”

  1. I love your blog and appreciate that you tackle funny light hearted stuff as well as deeper issues. I think sometimes (and this is not always the case) but men are struggling with other things like stress, feeling disrespected, pornography or other lust issues that trigger guilt. Until those are addressed then there will always be issues in the marriage bed. But sometimes it is just a season where the women are ready to go more often than our husbands! That’s OK they like to be persuade too! 🙂

  2. Thank you for doing a post on this topic. I have always been the “eager” one in our relationship. It was good when we were dating because my husband kept us in line, but its been a real struggle since getting married. My Hubby has been so patient with me while I try to figure this out. My friends have not been so understanding. They have called me everything from a horn-dog to a sex machine. Its hard to convince yourself that you are normal when everyone around you can’t understand. So good to hear that I’m not alone in this battle.

  3. I can say only on some days, I might want more than him!!!! Besides stress, hormonal issues, tiredness, etc…I think the other issue popping it’s ugly head into marriages {and more and more common}is the ease and accessibility of porn online. Men are so addicted that they are desensitizing themselves to the point of having very low libido. Men in their 20’s are suffering from ED!!!! Look at this article from Psychology Today.

  4. This is hardly scientific, but from what I’ve heard in various places (including The Marriage Bed forums), it seems that there are two main causes of this issue:
    1) Hormone issues, mainly low testosterone
    2) Porn use

    Honestly, I haven’t seen a ton of issues where the husband has a lower drive that his wife (or no drive) without him either being low T or a porn addict. I’m sure they exist, but they don’t seem plentiful.

  5. One other possibility, though I admit is probably very rare, is that the husband actually isn’t heterosexual. Sadly, I know of marriages where the husband hid his homosexuality for years before it came out in the open.

    There have been times in my marriage where I was definitely more interested than Mr. Right, but in our case it was either incredible stress which caused him to be distracted and depressed, and being the introvert he is (which I am, too) he needed some time to work it out mentally before he was ready to work it out physically, OR it was when I was pregnant and just couldn’t get enough! 😉

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