Hot, Holy & Humorous

Cruise

Cruise. Connect. Cultivate.
September 29 – October 6, 2024

Cruise

We’ll leave from Galveston, Texas on September 29, 2024, sail on Royal Caribbean’s Harmony of the Seas to the Western Caribbean with stops in Roatan, Honduras, Puerto Costa Maya, and Cozumel, Mexico and return on October 6, 2024.

Connect

You’ll connect with your spouse through interactive workshops, onboard fun, shore excursions of your choice, and private time alone. You’ll also connect with other couples on the cruise, with host J. Parker & her husband (“Spock”) and special guests TBA.

Cultivate Better Intimacy

Sail days include workshops designed to help you better understand God’s design for sex, your own marriage’s particular challenges and opportunities, and how to build better marital intimacy that includes mutually satisfying sex. But all events and experiences are geared toward helping you create and cultivate healthier, holier, and happier sexual intimacy in your marriage.

This cruise is not intended for couples in crisis. If you are dealing with sexual betrayal, experiencing physical or emotional abuse, or in the midst of divorce proceedings or a separation, please seek resources that address your specific situation better—such as a marriage intensive or professional therapy.

Cost

For $2700 per couple, you receive:

  • Interior Stateroom (taxes & fees included, room upgrades available*)
  • All meals provided by the ship (specialty restaurants excluded)
  • Onboard entertainment and shows (which Royal Caribbean is known for)
  • All conference workshops and events
  • One-on-one session with special guest coaches
  • Group dining so you can get to know other couples (including your hosts!)
  • Access to our closed Facebook group
  • Signed copy of Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples

*Room upgrades: $2992 for an Oceanview Stateroom, $3046 for an Oceanview w/Balcony

Space is limited to ONLY 12 couples! So act quickly.

Host

J. Parker is the voice of Hot, Holy & Humorous. She has been married to her husband for 30 years and has two grown sons. Check out her full bio here.

J. Parker will present several workshops on the topic of growing healthy and holy sexual intimacy in your marriage, as well as lead couples’ activities designed to increase understanding and connection. J’s husband will join her on the Q&A panel, along with our guest speakers.

Coach

Karissa Curtis is a licensed professional counselor and a board certified sex therapist focused on helping women and couples embrace relational, spiritual, and sexual health. She received her training from the Institute for Sexual Wholeness and the American Board of Christian Sex Therapists, has a private practice in Lake Saint Louis, Missouri, and is currently pursuing her PhD in clinical counseling from Trevecca Nazarene University.

Karissa will provide private marriage coaching for each couple, present a workshop, and participate in the Q&A panel. Her husband, Jim, will join her on board.

Itinerary

Day 1: Departure
Check-in / Reception
Safety Drill / Depart Galveston TX
Dining with Group

Day 2 & 3: At Sea
Workshops with J. Parker
Lunch on your own
One-on-one sessions with special guests
Dining with Group
Evening activity

Days 4, 5 & 6: Port Day
Shore Excursions or Stay on Ship
One-on-one sessions with special guests
Dining with Group
Evening activity

Day 7: At Sea
Workshop with J. Parker
Lunch on your own
Ask Anything panel with J, “Spock” & special guests
One-on-one sessions with special guests
Dining with Group
Final conference activity

Day 8: Arrival
Arrive in Galveston, Texas
(No group activities)

Ports of Call

Roatán, Honduras

Roatán’s diverse blend of cultures and traditions is enough to charm anyone. But its mangrove forests, dense jungles, and swaths of white-sand beach will make you want to stay forever. Learn more about Roatán here.

Puerto Costa Maya

Find ancient Maya ruins and mysterious jungles just begging to be explored, as well as private beach clubs and trendy restaurants— all in one place. Learn more about Costa Maya here.

Cozumel, Mexico

You can’t cruise from Galveston without stopping off at Cozumel, but that’s great because it’s a wonderful port with lots to do! With its lively tropical reefs, crystal-clear waters and ancient ruins, Cozumel is ripe for one-of-a-kind adventures. Learn more about Cozumel here.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why Royal Caribbean cruise line?

We cruised Carnival in 2023, and while I really like their cruise line, Royal Caribbean offers some perks that Carnival doesn’t. In particular, it has world class entertainment, many kick-back-and-relax spots, a beautiful Central Park on its Harmony of the Seas ship, and more conference room availability. We believe you’ll be very happy with the Royal Caribbean experience!

Why is the cruise so expensive?

You may have seen advertisements boasting cheaper rates, but those aren’t your check-out price. This cruise includes the base price of the cruise plus taxes, fees, and prepaid gratuities … times two. Then, there’s the cost of putting on a marriage retreat, which involves travel costs, time, labor, resources, etc. So, it’s a double-occupancy cruise + conference + investment in your marriage = great value!

Can we pay in installments?

Yes, you may make an initial deposit of 50% (e.g., $1350 for the $2700 interior stateroom) and pay the remaining 50% by June 30, 2024. After that date, the full amount will be due upon booking.

May we bring our children?

While we view children as a beautiful blessing from God, we ask you to find someone else to watch them back at home so that you can focus on your marriage and its intimacy. Having kids to care for, even if only when the ship’s childcare is unavailable, will prevent you from being able to concentrate on and apply what we’re learning. In the end, it will greatly benefit your children to have had a vacation all your own and strengthened your marriage and thus your whole family.

Must we attend all scheduled events?

No. Your time is ultimately yours to spend as you wish. Of course, you won’t get the full benefit of this marriage cruise without engaging in the core content. But if you want a dinner-for-two or a long afternoon nap together, go for it! Prioritize what’s best for your marriage.

Will we be able to drink alcohol?

Alcohol consumption is a non-salvation issue about which good Christians can disagree. If you choose to drink, please do so responsibly. And feel free to buy your host a glass of wine at least once during the week. (Kidding! I kid.)

Do I need to get vaccinated?

Royal Caribbean currently has no vaccination requirements. However, we encourage you to take wise precautions, especially those at higher risk of severe consequences if they fall ill. Consult your healthcare provider for advice tailored to you.

What about inclement weather?

Cruise ships are highly motivated to do two things: set sail and keep guests safe. If they believe they can sail safely, they will. But severe weather, such as hurricanes and tropical storms, may cause them to alter their course, change or skip a port, or cancel a cruise. Your host will stay on top of weather-related news and cruise line announcements and keep you informed of any adjustments to the plan.

Will I get seasick?

Many cruisers feel mildly nauseated the first day of sailing but acclimate quickly. A few experience motion sickness beyond the first 24 hours. Recommendations to prevent seasickness involve going outside from time to time, as viewing the horizon can help your body reorient, and taking over-the-counter medications like Bonine and Dramamine. Another option some, like me, swear by—and others, like my husband Spock, discount—is acupressure wristbands, like Sea-Band. Your healthcare provider can also prescribe a motion sickness patch that delivers a stronger medicine (Scopolamine) to help; speak with him/her ahead of time if you’re concerned. And if you experience motion sickness that’s not easily addressed, there is an onboard doctor who can help.

Should we get travel insurance?

While taxes, fees, and gratuities are all prepaid for you, the choice to get travel insurance is yours. Royal Caribbean offers a Travel Protection Program, or you can purchase separately from any travel insurance provider. Be sure to read exactly which conditions qualify for payout.

Got another question? Shoot me an email at j@hotholyhumorous.com.