Among the top ten things my husband has done to demonstrate his deep love for me, vasectomy is on my list.
After we had our two children, we knew that we didn’t want more. Not only we were financially and emotionally good with the two we had, my pregnancy complications made me less willing to conceive and carry another child. Two seemed to be the number we were destined to have, so we decided to call it quits.
Now there are plenty of ways to deal with a desire to cease having children — everything from family planning to contraception to surgical intervention. Given our circumstances, we chose the permanent route.
Having read up about the alternatives of having my tubes tied or him getting a vasectomy, we were both convinced that vasectomy was the way to go. And frankly, I’d been through enough with my reproductive organs with three pregnancies, one miscarriage, one regular birth, months of bed rest, weeks in the hospital, and one C-section. It felt like a breath of fresh air for my husband to say to me, “I got this one.”
What does a vasectomy involve?
A vasectomy is simply a couple of snips to the vas deferens, the tubes that carry sperm from the testes to the ejaculatory duct. Translation: The pipes between the Sperm Factory and Distribution get severed. The man still makes sperm, but it gets absorbed in the body rather than shooting out with ejaculation.
And yes, he still produces semen. It’s just spermless semen. Everything feels the same. All that’s different is that your gun’s barrel no longer shoots bullets but blanks.
How invasive is the surgery?
I didn’t have the surgery, so I’m talking strictly from the wife’s point of view. But it was scheduled with a urologist as a day surgery, and my husband was out of the doctor’s clinic by afternoon. His was a conventional vasectomy with a scalpel, but there is such a thing as a scalpel-less version.
The soreness lasted a couple of days, and he simply medicated with a few Ibuprofen and kept a frozen bag of peas handy to ice down the area. Then he was back up and at ’em, with no lasting consequences. Well, other than…hey, blanks!
What about my masculinity?
I already know that some of you guys out there are clutching your groins at the thought of a scalpel coming anywhere near your sensitive jewels. And blanks? Certainly, John Wayne and Clint Eastwood never shot blanks in their westerns, right? What studly guy wants to shoot blanks?
Without getting into details, let me assure you that my man is still all man to me. Nothing has changed about his sexual performance, his masculinity, or our level of intimacy.
Actually, maybe it has a little. The idea that he would do that for me? That he would take the burden of birth control off my shoulders? Made him seem even more manly to me, because he was playing the role of leader and protector. He was taking charge of something I needed him to take charge of. That, I have to say, was sexy to me.
So if you’ve been considered a vasectomy but you’re worried about your masculinity, maybe you can talk to your wife and/or speak to other men who’ve had the surgery. These honest discussions might quell your concerns.
What’s so great about shooting blanks?
Once you have all the children you plan to have and you shut down concerns about getting pregnant again, it’s Open Season on sex. This isn’t only true for my marriage, but I’ve heard from others who say their sexual frequency increased after they got permanent contraception.
Of course, this is no guarantee, because that all depends on your wife, your marriage, and you. But if the concern about getting pregnant has played a restraining role in the past, then getting that vasectomy can free things up. You might be shooting blanks, but you’re getting to fire your gun more often. Just sayin’, men.
Is vasectomy the way to go?
I don’t know. I can’t speak to your specific situation. You have your own physical situation, marriage relationship, and conscience issues to consider. But if you’re on the fence about it, I can honestly say it’s been a positive for my marriage’s sexual intimacy. And I know others who’d say the same.
Talk honestly with your wife and your doctor. Look up information for yourself. Pray about your decision. And then decide if it’s right for you.
Now asking my readers: What experiences have you had with vasectomy? Or other permanent contraception options?
Source: Urology Care Foundation