Daily Archives: January 19, 2012

Bedazzled, Bothered, and Bewildered

I recently learned a new word that I want to share with you. Let’s see if you know its proper definition.

To vajazzle is:
a. To wear bedazzled lingerie
b. To do a strip tease to jazz music
c. To decorate female private parts with bling-bling

If you immediately answered C, good for you. If like many more readers, you cringed when you read C, welcome to my original response.

Apparently, vajazzling is a new trend! It’s a take on the bedazzling phenomenon, only with girly parts. If you don’t know what bedazzling looks like, here are a few examples:

A bedazzled cap.

 

A bedazzled jacket.

 

Bedazzled nails.

 

You can also bedazzle purses, shoes, tote bags, belts, and . . . skin.

 

So imagine taking those little shiny adhesive beads and attaching them to your private area.

After discovering this word (through a writer friend), I did a bit of online research. Apparently, vajazzling has been mentioned on reality shows and by celebrities. There are websites devoted to this process and how it works. You probably have some of the same questions I did, so I’ll share what I learned.

What kind of bling-bling is used? They are “body crystals,” somewhat like the ones used on nails.

Where do the crystals go? You can put them in other places, like around your waist or on your abdomen, but for vajazzling they typically go on the clean-shaven or waxed area above the clitoris. They can be small designs or extend across the triangle shape of a woman.

What kind of sticky stuff is used? Eyelash glue and spirit gum were mentioned, as well as a resin-based glue. The adhesive used is especially for skin, although some might still have an allergic reaction to the substance if sensitive to it.

How long do they last? From what I could tell, maybe five days. Like other stick-ons, friction and moisture wear out the adhesiveness.

Do they interfere with intercourse? Because of their placement well above the vagina, they shouldn’t.

Who puts the crystals on? You can do it yourself (kits are available) or get it done professionally at a salon.

Why on earth would anyone do this??? Yes, this is the question I asked myself. So I had a nice chat with the hubster. It went a bit like this:

Me: Why would a woman want to vajazzle? Is that an appealing idea to men?

Hubs: Well, it would draw attention to the area.

Me: I thought guys were already pretty much drawn to that area. You need more?

Hubs: Well, it’s like an invitation. Like you decorated to let us know you want to have sex.

Me: You need an invitation? How big of a hint? Like should I arrange beads in the shape of an arrow? Write a message down there?

Hubs: I’m not saying I want you to do that. I just understand why some people would.

Me: [Sigh]

Seriously, I am wondering who is doing this. Because it took me a while to go for the idea of landscaping at all down there (see Trimming the Hedges). Now I’m supposed to slap on some bling-bling? I wonder if I could use the sequins from my kids’ craft projects and some Elmer’s.

One final question about vajazzling:

What about the guys? Shouldn’t husbands be decorating their man parts? Where’s the fairness here? Well, as a matter of fact, there is something called pejazzling. The husbands can get in on this trend too.

Now there’s another interesting question for the wives: Do you think your man should glam it up a bit? Get on a bit of shine? Sparkle a little?

Let me know what you think of this new trend. Have you heard of vajazzling? Have you done it? Do you think wives (and husbands) should consider it?