Female Ejaculation: Is It Real?

Female illustration

Female what?!
Photo from Microsoft Word Clip Art

If I say the word “ejaculation” in reference to sex, the vast majority of you will think that it applies to the husband. However, many women have reported experiencing something like ejaculation themselves, where a “shot” of fluid comes out that is distinctly different from the vaginal lubrication that facilitates intercourse.

Is it real? Is there truly female ejaculation?

In books about sexuality that I’ve read in past decades, most doctors presumed that the ejaculate females had was actually a leaking of urine. Even when I read that sometime ago, I thought, “How stupid do these male doctors think we are? Surely we gals know the difference between vaginal flow and pee, right?” But then I began to doubt myself and take their word for it instead.

It take it back. I was right in the first place!

More research indicates that some women do indeed “ejaculate.” That is, they experience a flow of fluid that can be anywhere from a teaspoon to a half-cupful. In fact, some women report that their bodies squirt fluid out more forcefully and generously than that. It appears that the burst of lubricant occurs when that elusive G-spot is tangled with.

Now I’m not a huge fan of sitting around trying to find your G-spot. I’ve known too many women and couples obsessed with finding this place like it’s the Buried Treasure of Orgasms. You can become frustrated and unsatisfied with your current, rather wonderful sex life if you go on a hunt for something you may or may not find right away. However, I do believe that the G-spot exists, that stimulating it can feel quite good, and that most couples can eventually find it by trying different positions. Some wives love their husband thrusting straight into that spot, and other wives find it too jolting. It’s up to the couple to decide.

Does ejaculate come out each time the G-spot is stimulated to climax? No. The information we have thus far is that female ejaculation is by no means a given. Some women are unlikely to ejaculate, others may gush quite often, and a large majority in between may experience this phenomenon a handful of times.

“Shejaculating” is not necessarily linked to climax anyway. Wives can orgasm many times and never spurt, and some wives may ejaculate at other times. Pleasurable stimulation to the area around the G-spot seems to be the key.

Some researchers have suggested that the fluid comes from the Skene’s glands, which rest on the anterior wall of the vagina. (Scientific diagram of female anatomy below to show where Skene’s glands are.) These glands are surrounded by tissue, including the portion of the clitoris that reaches up inside the vagina and swells with blood during sexual arousal. This is a reasonable suggestion given the glands’ proximity to the G-spot and connection with sexual stimulation. In addition, the size of the glands vary from woman to woman, which could explain why some women are more likely to ejaculate than others. However, this theory has not been proved. We don’t know exactly where the fluid comes from.

Illustration of glands

What has been tested is the substance itself. Female ejaculate seems to have properties similar to male semen (minus the sperm, of course). PSA, an antigen manufactured in the prostate, and glucose, a form of sugar in the body, have shown up in the liquid. Those properties demonstrate that it is not urine.

Summary: What we seem to know now is that female ejaculation exists, that it is linked to the stimulation of the front wall of the vagina, and that it is unpredictable at best.

As you might imagine, this issue hasn’t been studied much because (1) research tends to go toward assisting sexual dysfunction rather than figuring out how to use your vagina like a hose; and (2) how do you research this? Would you participate in such a study?!! No, thanks.

Instead, most of what we know has come from self-report. If a wife says she ejaculates, I believe her. And she might want to keep a towel nearby.

To the hubbies out there, whether your wife “shejaculates” is not a reflection of your sexual prowess, the level of her pleasure, or her ability to orgasm. I suspect it’s a function of how big her Skene’s glands are.

Just keep plugging away (pun intended) and enjoy your marital intimacy. If a burst of liquid appears, so be it. Sex is pretty messy anyway, so what’s a little more fluid added to the event?

Sources: Love & Sex with Dr. Laura Berman; Net Doctor UK; Princeton University; News Scientist

22 thoughts on “Female Ejaculation: Is It Real?

  1. workinprogress

    This happens to me on occasion, and it’s wonderful. The first time it happened, I wasn’t aware of the concept, so I wasn’t sure what was going on, and it didn’t happen again for a while. Recently, it has begun happening again, and it seems to happen most often on my second O of a session. I can feel it building up, and I have to relax and not hold it back. The tendency is to want to hold back, like I would hold urine back, but when I relax and let it go, it’s a fabulous O. Oh, and for me, it never happens PIV, only during oral or fingering.

  2. Anonymous

    Okay, now that you have addressed female ejaculation, can we discuss female wet dreams? I swear I just had one about my husband.

  3. Anonymous

    J-
    thanks for writing on such an important topic. In my research I had uncovered this but had never experienced until a few months ago. Now my hubby enjoys this aspect of my orgasm tremendously and tries to make “it happen” as often as he can which of course I love. However it does pose a hazard since it creates wet spots on my bed and with 3 preteen/teen children living in the house, explaining the wet spots can be a little hair raising to say the least.
    Great post as always

  4. Anonymous

    Yes, it does happen with my bride. Not every time, but fairly often. She says it typically accompanies a particularly intense orgasm. And (how to say it delicately…) I can attest that the fluid is abundant, is not her normal lubrication, is forcefully discharged, and definitely is not urine. 😉

  5. Anonymous

    Are these the same doctors that rolled their eyes every time I came into the hospital announcing that my water had broke and I was in labor and they just say, “you’re too early. You probably just urinated” only to have them do the swab and discover that I am indeed in labor and that is indeed amniotic fluid. I think I can tell the difference! I’m very aware of my body and how it functions.

    That being said, yes, I do F.E. I had never heard of it and when it happened the first time, I thought I peed all over my husband and I was deathly embarrassed. I even think hubby felt the same…kind of like, “I can’t believe she just peed on me!” I did my own research and I think he must have “had a talk with the boys” because now, we just let ‘er rip!

    The odd thing is I F.E. separate from orgasm. I usually F.E. before orgasm, but an ejaculation does not guarantee an orgasm. Why, oh why are our orgasms so complicated?!! It’s annoying! I want one, but my body doesn’t cooperate all the time!! UGH!

  6. Anonymous

    Thank you! Not many women experience this, and even less talk about it, so it’s refreshing to read this post! I experience female ejaculation often. It used to happen infrequently and only with direct manual stimulation. Recently, however, during bedroom play, my husband made it happen. He continued after and we realized I could keep gushing over and over! We repeated the play the next weekend and the same thing happened. And when we followed with intercourse, it happened then, too! Now that I know the feeling, I actually will gush nearly every time we have intercourse. It’s not rare anymore! It seems practice makes perfect! It does really turn my husband on, but it is messy. We just keep towels handy now!

  7. Anonymous

    Very enlightening post! Could you also (sometime when you get a chance) do an article on the A-spot or “Anterior fornix erogenous zone”? This seems to be even more elusive than the G-spot.

  8. Anonymous

    Thank you thank you thank you. I’m not weird strange or “bad”. And my hubby loves to make it happen!!

  9. Anonymous

    My gorgeous wife experiences this as well. Has for years. It varies so much from woman to woman. My wife never experiences a “shejaculation” without an amazing orgasm. I cannot believe there are still doctors that would say this isn’t possible or that it is pee. I enjoy it myself very much when it happens.

  10. momma-lana

    I experience FE almost every time. You can actually help it along and learn it on purpose. Instead of pulling ‘up’ with the vagina when you orgasm you should push outward and when you feel the urge like you need to pee during orgasm just let it go. My husband had heard about it and researched it and taught me to do it. He said it was okay if I peed by accident and that freed me to ejaculate. It has taken everything to a whole new level. It did take some time to be comfortable with it and it can be messy but WOW it is amazing!

  11. Anonymous

    It is for real and it’s the best ever! 🙂 We just figured it out a few months ago after much practicing and now it’s possible multiple times and is followed by the most amazing orgasm ever… this is a bit embarrassing, but it is for real…Once you figure it out, you won’t wanna stop!

  12. Anonymous

    Ok just to help me out…I’m assuming this fluid is ejaculated from the urethra? Or vaginally? I’ve read about this experience for the last couple of years…maybe its time to start experimenting! I know my husband would be happy to help!

  13. Anonymous

    J, I am a Christian husband married to the same wonderful woman for 25+ years… and am new to this forum. I’ve always considered our physical intimacy to be apart of my “love language” to her. She is my greatest blessing and I have always tried to show her that in our love-making as well. She has highly sensitive organs and throughout foreplay as well as intercourse she has experienced 50+ orgasms, when we take our time. We love intensity and it is my joy to make sure our times together leave her overflowing with joy. The subject of FE has come up before and we read the articles denouncing them as well. Sometimes during foreplay as I’m manually stimulating her clitoris, she will tell me that she’s struggling to hold back her urine. She usually says this right before orgasm. Based on what the other responders have stated, do you think that what she’d experiencing is just a urine situation or is she on the verge of an FE? Does the “G spot” need to be directly stimulated in order for an FE to occur? J, is this something you’ve personally experienced and could you offer more insight? I really appreciate it. Our 26th anniversary is coming up and I’d like to give her something extra special. God bless you ~D

    1. J

      So sorry for the delay in my response. I was on a bit of a blogging break and did a poor job of keeping up with those comments that needed responses.

      Congratulations on 26 years! What a lovely accomplishment for you both.

      From my research on this topic, that urge to urinate may indeed be your wife being on the verge of FE. Some women describe it that way. I suggest that your wife urinate before sex to empty her bladder (which is a good idea anyway to avoid infections). The issue may also be that the location of the Skene’s glands and bladder are so close that they may feel linked inside.

      This may sound gross, and I am opposed to urinating on your partner as a goal of sexual play, but what if she went over that edge once and you found out? What’s the worst that could happen? That she peed on you? Yes, that’s a bit ick, but urine isn’t harmful. My point is that couples have unique experiences, and experimenting together is often the best way to figure things out (rather than trying to read umpteen sources). That’s an option, though certainly not something you should encourage if it makes you or her uncomfortable.

      As to whether direct stimulation to the G-spot is needed, it doesn’t seem to be true. While the Skene’s glands may very well be the culprit here, female anatomy is such that indirect stimulation can be sufficient to bring on orgasm or FE. Finding your wife’s G-spot can be a challenge for many husbands, and some wives appear to have very small or difficult-to-reach G-spots, making this even more of a challenge.

      One more thing: Focus on enjoying each other on your anniversary more than checking off a sexual act. You may not want to feel that pressure on your special day. If it happens, great! It’s a nice gift to want to give her, but if your wife is happy with the usual, fabulous intimacy with you, let that be. Many wives report enjoying sex without FE or orgasm; we often simply enjoy the closeness.

      Best wishes!

  14. Anonymous

    A timely post for me, as I’m smack in the middle of the “eeeww! did I just pee?!?” that accompanies discovering this… talent(?)… Coupled with abuse issues from my childhood that leave me feeling nasty whenever I experience sexual pleasure, I’ve been unable to relax and enjoy my husband for some time now.

    **deep breaths** **I’m normal**

    I guess I need to keep a stack of towels handy…

  15. Dave 2

    Since this isn’t WordPress, I can comment without my Gravatar showing up to the potential dismay of my wife, who really never follow blogs anyway. She is always afraid my indentity will someday be compromised to her embarrassment. If I hit the HTML character limit, I’ll split it up.

    Guy and gals, do yourselves a big favor if a)you are going to pursue FE or b)are already experienceing FE. Here are some smart approaches to the gush issue for sure and possibly the squirt issue too. I will go from the biggest to smallest solutions.

    Buy a mattress cover that is fleece on vinyl like the vinly table cloths. Put the fleece up and the vinyl down for comfort. You will also not have to worry about soaking the mattress. On top of that, if you wish, put a thick padded mattress cover for further comfort if the fleece doesn’t breath well enough. Now comes the sheet. I sometimes put an over-sized, extra thick beach towel under the sheet from one side of the bed to the other across the strategic zone. You can save a lot of washing matched sheets if you buy two or three oversized flat sheets and “wrap” the mattress. Now you have one or two spares for a long session or a later repeat. You might think towels are now the answer. NO NO NO. They ARE absorbent, but they soak through. No protection for the sheet unless the FE is minimal and the towel is removed quickly. Who wants to deal with that so soon after?

    Now, as unromantic as this sounds, I go to a medical supply store and buy two or three (remember the repeatability factor, can’t use them again until washed) incontincence pads. The size is about 32 X 24. We begin by placing this in the right spot before we even begin. I know this sounds, well, REALLY?(SIGH.), but if you want this to happen, or know it will, then, like Sir Walter Raleigh with his mythical coat over the puddle, “gracefully” prepare the bed for your wife. Don’t make a display of it. Just have it ready before she even enters the room. If she says anything, and she may not, relax her by saying you were concerned with her comfort. Period. Done. Nothing about not having to wash sheets or staining mattresses. Just let the initial discomfort comment die a quiet death. After all, you both know what may happen and you both want to pursue it anyway. So be let’s be adult about it and relax a little on the denial. I can tell you, after acknowledging what you both are about to do, it is much more fun doing it with wild abandon knowing whatever gets wet doesn’t matter. She doesn’t have to hold back and you can encourage her to “push” her way through each orgasmic overflow. Whether urine or FE, she won’t feel compelled to hold back and you can just keep on keep’n on. If the incontinence pad(s)gets soaked, fold it up, lay aside and throw more under her, or you if she is on top. You can keep a towel and damp wash cloths or wipes handy for body clean up as you go. At the end, wash the incontincence pad(s), maybe the sheet, and maybe the beach towel, then maybe the mattress pad, and then maybe wipe or wash the mattress cover. The point is, with this multi-layer approach, you can limit the inconvenient aftermath of some very great sex and not inhibit the total immersion of your wife into the experience. She can TOTALLY let go with no worries. Isn’t that what you want for her, AND you?

  16. Dave 2

    Pt. 2

    You discretely set the stage for her so she can play on it with total abandon. What if the stage isn’t the bed? Have available either a rectangular vinyl table cloth or vinyl shower curtain. Top that with perhaps a beach towel or something else for comfort. Then for the top layer use a shower curtain. Get the cloth type that hotels use. Make sure it has button holes for the hooks, not metal grommets. I would suggest the pads here also. The show curtain will only absorb so much before it becomes uncomfortable. This works well for floors, especially carpeted ones and rugs. It’s admittedly a little trickier for chairs and couches. I suppose it would work well on grass too. Can’t say for sure though. Just saying.

    It may seem to lack romance going through such seemingly clinical preparations, but her lying there worrying about sheets and mattresses is a lot less romantic and certainly steals the thunder from her moment(s). Consider it a foreplay ritual you engage in. Don’t obsess about what you are doing at the time, but what the benefit is of doing it. Who know’s? You might have to change all the way down to the mattress when it’s over. That’s laundry I’d be more than pleased to change out for my wife.

  17. Anonymous

    My wife does this as well.

    She’s only does this when she’s on top and has already had a few O’s. She stimulates her clitoris. I end up wedged against the front wall (against the G-Spot) and penetrate deep enough to hit the A-spot. (Front wall, A-L-L the way in, BTW.)

    It doesn’t happen every time, but when it does, WOW!

  18. Anonymous

    So J, what i’m understanding is female ejaculation feels like your going to pee when it is about to happen, right? I too have had that sensation in the last 6 months but I find myself holding back because i think I’m about to pee all over my husband. And in resent months I’m finding that my orgasms have not been as intense and satisfying and I’m wondering if this is part of the reason.

    1. J

      Apparently so. Some women describe the sensation that way. Your best option is to make sure you use the bathroom before you have sex (which is often recommended anyway to prevent infections), and then you’ll know that your bladder is empty.

      By the way, I know it sounds really gross and I’m not in favor of urinating on anyone during sex, but if you did leak some, it wouldn’t hurt him. So you might just let go and see what happens. The consistency of liquid is different, so you should be able to tell.

      Best wishes!

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