Why Try More than One Sexual Position

It’s not hard to find books about sexual positions. Any large bookstore will have several choices. That said, it is hard to find books about sexual positions that are both instructive and tasteful. Which is why I tackled the subject in Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives and included a few illustrations (by my marvelous illustrator, Matt).

While I’ve encouraged trying new sexual positions, I recently realized I didn’t cover something possibly important: Trying more than one position in a single sexual encounter.

Sometimes when we make love with our spouse, we get set on doing a certain thing, and we follow through with that from kickoff to climax. But instead of looking at sexual positions as select one and see it through, you can use two or more positions within your sexual encounter to increase the pleasure and excitement for both of you.

Let’s cover some ground on this idea together.

closeup Portrait of Feet of a couple in bed + blog post title

What Positions

Which positions you try are up to you, but remember that everything from whether you’re lying down, standing, or sitting — to who’s on top or on which side — to the angles of your legs, hips, torso, etc. to which way you’re facing goes into determining the sexual position. For instance, the same basic position can feel different with your legs raised than your legs down. So trying out variations on the main themes (like missionary, woman-on-top, rear entry) can result in a sexual position you haven’t tried . . . and might enjoy.

(And since I almost always get asked — no, I don’t know of a specifically Christian book on sexual positions I’d recommend. And yes, I wish there was one. But as I said, I have information in my book, and there are also some respectful, illustrated books out there as well as a website or two. Plus, there’s the marvelous idea of experimentation.)

Why More Positions

More than one position within an encounter can increase both your pleasure and your intimacy. For instance, making love can feel more intimate face-to-face, eye-to-eye — while rear entry might give you the stronger climax. So why not do both? Face each other for a while and enjoy that connection, then shift into the more physically arousing position.

Secondly, each of you may respond better to one position than another — and it likely won’t be the same position. So perhaps you can make love in the way that helps her reach climax — including the opportunity for him to also manually stimulate her during intercourse, if needed — and then you switch to what works best for him. Then both of you get what turns you on most.

Also, you might try more than one position within an encounter to explore and experiment. What does it feel like when we do X? How about Y? How do and Y compare to Z? Well, you could give it a shot and see what you think. With all the results lined up together right there, it’s pretty easy to sort out what you do and don’t like. This is especially nice to try when you have enough time to sample and savor the experience — when orgasm isn’t on-the-clock, so to speak. (You parents with young’uns know what I’m talking about!)

How More Positions

If you’re making minor adjustments in your positioning, you can likely accomplish that without any fanfare. Just move your legs, hips, whatever, and get the new angle going. But if you’re going to make a big change in sexual positioning midway through, you must have a way to communicate. All your communication need not be verbal, but you have to be able to coordinate what’s happening next.

You can talk out beforehand which positions you’re going to try, and then signal when it’s time to switch to the next one. Or you can talk it through as you make love (e.g., “I want to get on top,” “Can you flip over?”). Alternately, you can use your hands to do the talking — that is, point which direction you want to go, or move your partner’s body to the position you desire. Just have some way of getting on the same page about your physical intimacy.

But . . . 

One last caveat. Learning to include several positions in your sexual intimacy repertoire can enhance the experience, physically and emotionally, for both of you. But all that said, this ain’t the Olympics. You don’t get extra points for doing the triple Axel jump or a reverse somersault dive in the middle of lovemaking. You don’t have to break the bed or your hip joints to enjoy some change-ups in your sexual positioning.

So take it easy on yourself and start by shifting a bit here and there. If you’re more adventurous (and younger than I am), of course you can try those positions that make some people tilt their heads and ask, But how do they…? Yet the point of sex with your mate is not to say you’ve run the gamut of possibilities or won the Most Sexual Positions Tried trophy, it’s intimacy and pleasure. If changing up your sexual positions accomplishes that, go for it. If a position doesn’t enhance your lovemaking, leave it behind.

So have you tried multi-positioning in a single sexual encounter? What suggestions do you have?

23 thoughts on “Why Try More than One Sexual Position

  1. Missy

    I think this came pretty naturally for us as different positions often do stimulate us better individually. It is rare for us to remain in one position for an entire love-making session. One of my great pleasures is to follow his cues as he finds thrill in my body. We begin in many different positions, but honestly, it usually ends the same way (the one where he receives greatest physical stimulation). This doesn’t bother me at all!

  2. Lina

    I saw somewhere – maybe it was here – the idea of having the husband in a chair and giving a sort of ‘lap dance’. I arranged the bed with pillows and told him to sit up against the headboard, and he enjoyed seeing me and watching what I was doing. Also comfortable for my neck and back. So I’ll throw that in once in a while!

  3. Victor

    Thanks for this post, but I thought I should make a general comment. Since you’re speaking to and on behalf of faith, I would like to encourage you to ask God to help you bring out the scriptural perspective of your message. Intuitively, many Christians would be able to discern whether what you say is true or not, but it will serve us well to have the backing of God’s word on these matters. So, consider my comment as both a challenge and a word of encouragement. Bless.

    1. J Post author

      Sometimes I am speaking very directly from my faith and include a lot of Scripture, and other times I feel I’m speaking more generally — but certainly never against the faith!

      Thanks for your comment, Victor! Blessings.

  4. Her husband

    My wife doesn’t like to change positions (at least changes that need me to withdraw) because she says air gets in her V and then when I re-enter, compressing the air causes her discomfort. Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, can it be overcome?

    1. Stuart

      Though I have never experienced the air in the V, (at least if so my wife never told me) after changing a position you could try inserting a finger or two. One to ensure the position is comfortable for her and by inserting the fingers you will be allowing the air to slowly release before re-entering. Plus that will keep the stimulation going as well. Or you could do oral before re-entering. That is fun both both of you.

      1. Her husband

        Due to this discomfort, it has been very rare for us to change positions. (Like <10 x in 20+ years) Once we start in a position, we pretty much stay there. I'll be honest, I'd never looked to see what her V opening does after I pulled out, (fully closed or remained somewhat open), so I don't know if your finger suggestion would make a difference. It seems like when I'd pull out and re-enter, that is when the air got introduced and compressed. She may be a little gun shy about trying this idea just due to the past, but if she is open (no pun intended), I should pay a little more attention.

        1. Stuart

          One thing you might try as well is asking her to tighten up as you are pulling out. The feeling of her muscles tightening might benefit both of you during sex.

          Just a thought.
          God Bless bro

    2. Missy

      This happens to me quite often! My man simply withdraws, allows the air to escape and reenters. It creates a kind of suspenseful pause for intimate kissing and anticipation.

  5. Ann

    Hey, can you do a post about how to clear thoughts of erotica and slight bdsm leanings because of it, from your mind? If you know… – a woman

    1. J Post author

      Sure. I’ll jot that down and start working on it. I know that BDSM, and some faulty thinking there, has become huge in recent years. Blessings!

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  7. Keelie Reason

    Yes, multiple positions in the same night is a great way to make sure you are both satisfied. I can’t remember the lat time my husband and I stayed in the same place we started. What is best for him is not always best for me. It just takes time to work it out.

  8. May

    Also some positions are rather physically demanding for one partner and although it may feel great keeping it up till orgasm may not be possible.

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  12. Mary

    My husband and I love reading about sex. For years I had fears of sinning by trying new things. Those days are over. We want in the worst way to have rear entry sex but it doesn’t work. Is it possible that some couples can just not use this position? He has a extremely thick penis and my vagina small and is tilled wrong.Entry always needs oral for play regardless of position but rear entry just won’t work?

    1. J Post author

      It could be the tilt of your uterus or vagina. It could be the angle. You might try a side entry to work toward that.

  13. Mary

    Could it be just impossible because we have tried rear side. I guess it’s not the end of the world. But I suppose we just want to know. From all we have read it seems to be a quiet rare problem.

    1. J Post author

      Given your issues, I really would talk to a doctor. From what you’ve described, it sounds like a physical thing. If that just doesn’t work, see what else you can do to spice things up. 😉

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