Missionary Position. Later-term pregnancy. These two do not go together well.
I’m not the only one who’s noticed. In fact, I got a recent request to chat a bit about sexual positions during pregnancy. And since I covered changing up positions on Monday, I thought I’d keep going with the theme.
The biggest problem in later pregnancy is that your belly has both size and weight hindering you connecting in all the ways you and hubby used to. So if you can move the belly out of the way and still get the good parts attached, you’ve met your goal. Be willing to step outside-the-box a little and try some different positioning.
Spooning, rear entry. You know how you spoon and cuddle at night? (Or at least you used to–before your body felt like a furnace and you started shooing hubby away with the “I’m too hot! I’m too hot!” yell.) Try intercourse while spooning! It’s a very intimate embrace and allows penetration of the vagina from behind. He will likely be the one controlling the pace and depth, but you can certainly speak up or gesture how it’s going for you. Don’t worry that he can’t see your face, because all of you is beautiful to him — especially now that you’re carrying his baby.
Standing, rear entry. Another option is to stand up, spread out, and let hubby penetrate from behind. This will be a lot easier, however, if you have a way to lessen the weight on your body. For instance, lean against a wall, or grab a hold of the back of the couch or your bed rail, or use a chair and hold onto its back. This position can be wonderful in allowing your husband easy access to your breasts (blossoming as they are!) as you make love.
Woman on top. Just climb on top of your husband, and then you can choose the angle, pace, and depth of penetration that feels good to your changing body. You can opt to face forward and be face-to-face, or you can turn it around (aka “reverse cowgirl”) and straddle your husband’s body facing his feet. Figure out which position is more comfortable for you, and take your time to get it right.
Sitting, on his lap. Grab a chair, your couch, or the edge of your bed, and have your husband sit. Then sit on his lap facing forward, away from him. In this position, once again, you are the main one determining angle, speed, etc. But this gets the belly facing away, as well as allowing your feet to bear some of the weight. This position tends to allow for deep penetration, especially if the height of your sitting stance is conducive.
Down low, rear entry. Kneel down on all fours (yes, I know, some call that “doggy-style”), and let him penetrate your vagina from behind. But here’s a trick: Rest part of your body on something to take off some of the weight. For instance, you can lean forward and rest your forearms and head on the bed; you can make love on the couch and hold onto the furniture’s arm; you can rest your body’s torso on strategically placed pillows. Once again, in this position, your husband will likely control the pace.
A few things to add:
- A lot of these are rear entry, and some wives feel uncomfortable presenting their posterior to their husbands. Look, I get it. Not all of us are in love with our rear ends, and it can feel impersonal to make love without seeing your mate’s face. But husbands tend to be quite excited by our feminine form. Indeed, our curvy shape is sometimes best seen from this angle, and he knows he is making love to you — his wife, mother of his child — even if your face is not visible at the moment. (Indeed, he’d better be able to recognize you from every each and every angle. Just sayin’.)
- Pillows are your friend. Be willing to use them to prop yourself up into more comfortable positions for sexual intimacy. You may find that even the missionary position is do-able if you can hoist your hips to the right level to tilt your belly out of the way. But invest in a few good pillows and make use of them as needed.
- Consider other sexual activities. You may have difficulty reaching orgasm in some of these positions, so you might want to add digital manipulation or oral sex to your repertoire. It’s pretty easy to achieve the sexual position of lying down, knees cocked, and letting hubby turn you on until your inner furnace goes kaboom! Then you can switch to intercourse and enjoy the sensations as your beloved reaches his climax.
- It is safe for most pregnant wives to engage in intercourse in later pregnancy. In fact, some obstetricians encourage it as a way to bring on labor when a pregnant mom is overdue. So unless you have been given some restrictions on your activities, feel free to continue making love. After all, when the baby arrives, your body will need a respite from sex so you might as well get some lovemaking in right now.
- If you do have pregnancy restrictions, don’t ignore them. This is a personal thing for me, since I had one pregnancy in which I was told midway through to stop all intercourse, get on bed rest, and do everything possible to prevent early arrival of my baby. Thank goodness I complied. But oddly enough, the nurses in the hospital said many wives didn’t comply . . . and many husbands were uncooperative. So I’m just going to say it: Sex is really important in marriage, but it does not trump a human life you’re trying to bring into the world. Believe me, hubby and I have made up for those weeks we lost! And looking at our healthy child, we’re glad we waited.
Got any more great sexual positions for pregnancy? What have you tried that worked well?