Daily Archives: December 15, 2011

Where Should I Look during Sex?


Photo credit: Microsoft Word Clip Art

It’s a simple question, right? Where should I focus my eyes during lovemaking with my spouse?

Okay, guys, stop snickering. You don’t really have this issue of where to look because you are ogling your gal’s body from top to bottom. I think it’s hard-wired into you.

However, as a member of the more complicated female gender, I have wondered at times where I should look during The Act. All too often, I have opted for the eyes-closed version of sexual activity.

Now eyes-closed has its place in the bedroom, of course. Sometimes closing one’s eyes allows a wife to block out external distractions and focus on her body’s sensations – one of the keys, in my opinion, to having an orgasm.

Yet, there is something to be said for taking in the lovemaking with all five senses fully engaged. You can’t really block smell, so that’s already happening. (Sniffing to get a fuller whiff will probably make your spouse worry that you are transforming into a werewolf, so don’t go there.) Touch is an automatic feature of physical intimacy. And unless you have earphones on (why would you?), you can hear what’s happening. Adding a little background music as a soundtrack can be a good idea too. Kissing and licking means you also taste the experience.

But sight? We can choose to engage that sense or not. Here are a few places you might want to try looking. See what you think.

His eyes. This assumes, of course, that you are facing one another. So when you are, take some time to look into your hubby’s eyes. Most of us find one another’s eyes to be engaging and soulful. Eye contact communicates caring and attention. As you look into his eyes, you can also see the expressions on your husband’s face – which will most likely be happy – thus increasing your own pleasure and sense of connection in the moment.

His body lines. Husbands and wives have very different body lines. Women curve in different places. It can be erotic to watch the edge of your husband’s body, even tracing it with your finger, hand, lips, or tongue. Be aware of how your lover’s body is different from yours and how curious and exciting his form is. Appreciate how God created him.

His pleasure areas. I did a post some time ago about how women are not typically as turned on by the sight of male genitalia as men are turned on by female genitalia. I still think that’s true. However, it can be thrilling to watch the changes occur in your spouse as he becomes aroused. It is also a fascinating area of the body in terms of what it does. Take time to admire that.

Your body lines. As your hubby touches you, pay attention to your own form. As he strokes and kisses your arms, legs, stomach, or other parts, you can watch him touching your skin and see how your body is shaped in a way that arouses your husband.

Your pleasure areas. How many of you gals are willing to admit, “I like to watch”? — as in you like to watch your pleasure points as your husband stimulates them. There can be something doubly arousing about feeling and watching your lover touch and excite your private areas.

A mirror. If you have a large mirror available, give it a shot. You might enjoy looking over his shoulder and seeing your bodies melding together. You might peek at your wild and excited expression as you climax. If you really want to go out on a limb, get a magnifying mirror and be really impressed with your husband’s size. (Just kidding. At some point, I couldn’t play it straight anymore. Anyway.) Some couples enjoy viewing a reflection of themselves making love.

So where do you usually look? Have you thought about mixing it up and looking somewhere else? How well do you focus on your body, his body, and your togetherness during sexual activity? Any other suggestions for using sight in the bedroom?