Hot, Holy & Humorous

Revisiting the Question: What Is Modesty Really?

First published July 2011

When my husband and I first got married, I owned this cute little black skirt that showed off my personal best asset — my legs. I had bought it on sale at a store where I didn’t usually have the money to shop, and I loved the way I looked in that skirt.

My hubby asked me to get rid of it. What?! Are you kidding?! He said that it was too short, and he didn’t like other guys seeing that much of me. Hmmm.

Frankly, I’d always thought of myself as being relatively modest. I never wore a bikini; always a one-piece. I didn’t wear low-cut blouses, even if I didn’t have the cleavage to spill out anyway. I didn’t squeeze myself into clothing two sizes too small or wear dresses with cut-outs on the sides. But I had to take his word for it–his male perspective on what draws a man’s attention in an inappropriate way.

When I look around now, I sometimes can’t believe the eye candy that we dangle in front of men’s eyes and then expect them to pay attention to our inner goodness. I was at a church luncheon once (I repeat, church luncheon, for heaven’s sake!) and saw a woman lean over to get her food, drawing up her blouse and giving a peek at the black thong coming out of her skirt. She probably had no idea.

And that’s the point. We ladies are not always great at gauging what is appropriate to wear publicly. The newest fashions come out, everyone’s wearing them, they make us look good, and we buy. We are often not even aware that the micro-mini reveals too much when we sit across from a male co-worker or that a loose blouse is giving a glimpse of our lacy bra to the waiter at our table. We don’t even think like that.

So we have to start thinking like that. We have to pause and ask whether what we are wearing is going to encourage temptation to lust for men around us. Yes, I know men lust anyway. My father swore that young men can find a way to lust after women wearing potato sacks, but we should make it easier for guys to focus on what is most important.


Modesty is not backward. Modesty is not dressing like you are from past century in a fruitless attempt to turn back time and keep things on the up-and-up.

Modesty is not frumpy. Wearing sweat pants and crew neck t-shirts all the time will cover everything, but that is not a look that presents the best you.

Reverend fun cartoon

Modesty is not old. A 30 year old need not dress like her grandmother to maintain a modicum of modesty.

Modesty is not gender-neutral. Straight clothes that hide that you are, hello!, a woman is not modesty.


Modesty is covering up skin best reserved for your spouse. If you aren’t sure whether it’s appropriate, ask him. Do NOT ask, “Do you like me in this dress?” He might say, “I LOVE you in that dress (and out of it).” Ask where the dress makes him look. Does the dress draw attention to areas best left for his eyes only? Ask if he is comfortable with how much of you will be revealed to others.

Modesty is dressing like the beautiful woman you are. You are a woman with a womanly shape; it is okay to wear something that demonstrates that you have a figure. But fitted and tight-fitting are quite different. Don’t get hung up on the numbered size of a garment (sizes vary so much by manufacturer); find what fits you right.

Modesty is fashionable. Yes, you can find styles that are fashionable and modest. Teenagers in particular may have to treat clothes shopping like hunting an endangered species, but it is possible.

Reverend Fun cartoon

Modesty is keeping your underclothes under your clothes. For some reason, I feel the overwhelming compulsion to state this. I don’t think it’s backward to presume that bras, panties, etc. should not be as visible to the public as your brand-new haircut.

If you struggle with what makes you look beautiful and fashionable without falling into inappropriate styles, I recommend going online and looking for tips on dressing your body type. Frankly, in the few episodes I’ve seen of What Not to Wear, the experts did an excellent job of dressing women in clothes that highlighted their best parts and kept everything tucked in as it should be. (Mind you, I cannot speak to the series as a whole since I don’t get that channel!)

Pause and think about what you’re wearing. Think about whether it’s honoring your husband. Think about whether it’s helping another woman’s husband keep his eyes on his own wife. And then go out there and be the fashionista that you are!

Remembering, of course, that your inner beauty is what matters most.

Thanks to Warrior Wives for bringing this post to my mind again. Join the conversation with Let’s Chat: Discerning Modesty Standards with Your Husband.

35 thoughts on “Revisiting the Question: What Is Modesty Really?”

  1. I agree, it’s amazing how twisted our worldview on this has become. There are people I know (yeah, in my church) who wear thongs…and I don’t want to know that…you can’t unlearn a thing, sadly.

    But, on the flip side, my wife has been told off (not in church, as far as I know) for breastfeeding in public. It’s like our culture has a “it’s OK to have your breasts out, so long as you’re not going to use them…” mentality.

    1. LOL, Jay Dee, I was practically burqua’d in a nursing blanket in a private corner at church and a deacon told me that I shouldn’t do THAT where people can see. He only said it once. I breast fed during services until my little one started yanking the blanket off while unlatching.

  2. I agree with everything you said except one. I believe, especially in this age and culture that women and sad to sy it, even girls, no exactly what is Medtronic and immodest, as well as how to get the eye of any guy to turn their way. For the mst part I believe these are sins of commission.

    1. I’d contend that a lot of girls really don’t know the effect that short shorts or low-cut blouses have on guys. They may realize that they’re getting more attention, but they don’t necessarily know exactly what images that’s conjuring up in his head. At least that’s the impression I’ve gotten when I’ve talked to many young ladies and read what they say.

      But sure, some of them are very aware. And willing to dress in whatever way to get male attention. Which is sad really, because it isn’t the kind of attention they should get.

  3. Great post J. I love your balanced approach to this subject. While it takes some searching, it really isn’t all that difficult to dress fashionably, attractively, AND modestly. I love what you say about our dress being honoring of our husbands.
    What has been bothering me for a while on this subject is the idea that it is the job of the female population to make sure that men don’t lust. While I do want to present myself modestly and not advertise myself to the male population, I am not responsible to keep men everywhere from lusting. Of course, there is a manner of dress that is clearly inappropriate and unnecessary. Absolutely! But I get bothered when bloggers and commenters (not you) start in with “Ladies, we must dress in a way that won’t cause our brothers to lust.” Maybe I’m completely wrong, but I don’t think I’m responsible for someone else choosing to sin. Yes, we need to understand what our clothing choices do to men, and we need to communicate this to our teenage girls, but I’m tired of being blamed for the man sitting in the pew behind me who has a lust problem. How is that much different than me blaming the male population for my nagging problem? Am I way off base here?
    Having said that, no, I don’t want men to know what kind of underwear I’m wearing, or see half of my breasts. But I have a female shape and I’m not going to hide it for fear that some man is going to notice.

  4. Well written. What Not To Wear is a fabulous show and my daughter and I watch it. Helps you dress for your figure type and they have had some GREAT shows on taking someone who is hanging out all over the place (even did an ex stripper once) thinking they are sexy in doing so and teaching them how to dress MUCH more modestly and still feel sexy by getting clothes that flatter their body without exposing it. Can’t say enough about the show and you can also pick up tips on how to dress your own body type.

    1. I second What Not To Wear. It’s also awesome watching people’s perspective of themselves change as the show progresses.

  5. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing a balanced post on modesty! I think that most of us fall into one of two extremes regarding modesty; we either underthink it and assert our “rights” to wear whatever we choose or overthink it and become obsessed with skirt length (or coming up with a “biblical” standard for clothing). It also frustrates me that so many of the posts about “what I wore” that supposedly demonstrate modesty show the most unattractive, frumpy outfits. It is completely possible to be trendy, look like a woman and be totally covered at the same time.

    (Glad I could inspire you to re-post this. :))

  6. Wow, where to start… I am a 49 year old Christian male and I have this image of a receptionist sitting behind the counter and showing me her pretty lace bra and everything in it along with her belly button back when I was in High School. Was I lusting after her? I didn’t have to be. It was literally shoved in my face. Unfortunately, that is to be expected in the world today but I see it in the Church just as much. True, like any other red blooded man, I could lust after a lady in a burlap sack but that would be a situation where I do not take my thoughts captive and start to meditate on “what’s under that sack”. It is an altogether different thing when images are put before me that I have to actively fight to ignore (which by the way is impossible). God made me (and all guys) visual. I know there are some women who struggle with seeing “sexy” men but even the scripture speaks to women and their dress which tells me it is a priority with the Lord. The old joke about “are you cold or just glad to see me?” is not really funny. Why should any man (other than husbands) be seeing a lady’s nipples poking through her shirt? I was in a prayer meeting the other day and we got on this topic and the ladies talked about how other ladies dress and what they show while I was thinking to myself, “why are you showing me part of your breasts across the room?”. I wanted to grab a mirror and hold it up in front of them and say, “this is what I (men) see…”. If a woman wants me to look her in the eyes, dress in a way that draws my eyes to them. Fashion designers know well how the male visual system works so they put the V-neck and plunging neck lines to use. Heck why not hang a pretty necklace down there too… I’ve often wondered if a good guideline might be, don’t show me anything you wouldn’t want me to touch. I know some would take that to the extreme and say well I don’t cover my mouth and you don’t touch it. I would help a lady get something off her face if needed but I’d have a REAL hard time being comfortable if it was her cleavage. It is a spirit not the letter of the Law thing. My wife says that women know exactly what they are doing when they leave that extra button undone on their blouse…it is Sex-Ed 101.

    Disclaimer: Just so you know I’m not just a “woman basher”, I also believe men have a responsibility to dress and conduct themselves appropriately. We are told in scripture to “avoid even the appearance of evil…”

    We need to quit worrying about fitting in and start standing out.

    Set the Standard.

    1. It should really be both sides working on this issue. Women need to dress in such a way that doesn’t unreasonably tempt men, and men need to guard their eyes and hearts.

      In this post, I’m speaking to the gals. Dress modestly. (But fashionably. Which is possible.)

      Thanks so much for giving us a peek into the guy’s side!

  7. Hi J – I agree with you, and I also agree with the first Anonymous. The term “modesty” was never used when I was growing up, and it tends to have a negative connotation for me, but I learned that I should dress in a way that showed good taste (which didn’t have anything to do with the cost of the clothing) and was appropriate to the occasion/settings. Which still seems like good advice – Cleavage at work or church? No. A touch of cleavage on a date with your husband – sure. Bathing suit at the grocery store? No. Bathing suit on the beach? Of course. So I definitely agree that many women are not dressing appropriately to the occasion/setting, and many are downright immodest. I do have worries, though, about segments of the church that put all of the responsibility for preventing lust on women. It often comes across as if there is something wrong with women and their bodies, and if we can only cover them up enough, then the problem will go away. If that’s the case, where should we draw the line? If some guys have a “thing” for feet, should women not wear sandals. If some are into ankles, should all women wear floor-length skirts? Obviously, that’s extreme, but it’s definitely the case that a woman can be wearing a lovely, well-fitted, feminine outfit, and some guy(s) may still lust after her. Anyway, I’m a bit conflicted on the issue, but you dealt with it very well. Thanks.

    1. Gaye, you make some good points. I do think that modesty can vary somewhat based on culture and location. For instance, if a church group goes to a water park, they will certainly be wearing something different from what you expect them to wear to church on Sunday morning. And something entirely different from what I’d expect if they’re on a mission trip in a Muslim-ruled country. What’s modest can vary based on circumstances.

      (And I just have to say, that I recently bought some really cute strappy heels, and I’m not getting rid of them. So that foot issue won’t hinder me. Those oddballs will just have to get over it. LOL.)

  8. Great post! We’re only fooling ourselves if we don’t think there’s any fallout on this subject in everyday life. And us men need to be careful too. As an example, I wasn’t aware until recently that guys not wearing shirts could be a significant stumbling block for some women (of course, others just laugh or roll their eyes). In any case, a lot of honest heart-checking before the Lord needs to happen (asking the question “why am I _really_ wanting to wear–or not wear–this?”).

    Once we dress with our hearts right before Him, the tough question becomes “now how far do I take this?” knowing that (as the saying goes) “there isn’t any amount of clothing that will cover up a dirty mind.”

    1. Ah, shirtless men. I should do a post on that, Greg. Because yeah, women notice. And for some of them, it can be rather eye-catching. Why do you think those firefighter calendars sell so well?

      That’s also a context thing. Shirtless men on the beach are a given. But jogging in the neighborhood? I’m not as sure. I’d be curious to know what others think.

      Still, we ladies have to guard our eyes and hearts as well. No matter what he’s wearing.

  9. I agree with J that women usually have no idea what they are showing. Even those who do it intentionally I think show more than they know.

    My best example is the young lady who was playing clarinet at chruch – and showing the audience her panties! She was not the kind of women who wanted anyone seeing that, and when she was gently informed she was shocked!

    Yes, men will find a reason to lust if they want to, but that does not make it okay to wear an invitation. Or as I am seeing said more and more in the world, if you want men to like you for your brains, stop showing them your breasts all the time!

  10. My husband and I were walking around the mall just this past weekend, and I was really stunned by some of the things I saw. Many women in a wide range of ages wearing outfits that I would not wear outside the bedroom. Others just doing “the usual” with odd gaps in their clothing, underwear peeking through, too much cleavage, etc. Some of these women are indeed doing it deliberately because they want attention or somehow equate exposing themselves with feeling attractive or sexy. Others are just oblivious to how they really look, having fallen prey to a fashion trend, or simply having failed to glance in the mirror before leaving the house.

  11. Great post! I constantly think of this when I think of church. We are gathering with our brothers and sisters in Christ, so why would we want to walk in front of our “brother” showing cleavage or having too short of a skirt in front of your “spiritual father”? Disrespectful to say the least and shows no thought of etiquette or what message you’re sending to others. Selfish motives for sure. There are times when someone may not realize they are exposing more than they should but I don’t feel that is so in most cases. Thoroughly enjoyed this!

  12. I have to say I agree here. I’m 27 and married to an Army man. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan and I have decided to step up my wardrobe from jeans and a t-shirt. It really is NOT hard to find things that are trendy, and modest. I was also the worship leader at our church for a year and a half, so I was very conscious as to how I dressed then as well. You never know when you have to bend over to pick up your water, or how high your skirt will go when you step up or down the stairs. And seeing through your clothes?? OH my!

    But honestly, I am thankful that I had that leadership position to show the younger girls in our church that it’s not hard to be cute and modest. I will continue to do so from the congregation.

    I’m also almost finished with Court Reporting school, and I will have to dress nicely for work. I have been trying to make sure that while I am sitting nothing can be seen, or if I bend over to pick something up, you can’t see down my shirt. Working with lawyers will be interesting I am sure.

    I guess the moral of the post is to say I am so glad people are stepping up on this. And I hope that I am a light to some of those younger girls. I know any time I get the chance I try to take them shopping, or give them pointers.

    And on the men without their shirts on: I have to admit that since my husband has been away I’ve been struggling with seeing other attractive men. I pull myself back in, but boy it can be hard not to look sometimes. (I guess it doesn’t help that I got off of birth control right before my husband left, and since my body has readjusted itself my sex drive has gone back up!)

    Keep up the awesome posts, J! I love your blog and it has helped me out SO much!


  13. Another great article. I am saddened by the way some ladies at church dress. I am sorry, but I should not have concentrate on staring at ladies eyes just to keep me from seeing here breast spill out.

    Show some compassion to us please!

    Please keep posting, it is always wonderful.

  14. Thank you. Sharing on Facebook. If I could have any superpower, I would be Modesty Monitor and have the power to add extra fabric on anyone’s outfit. Especially my teenage students…

  15. From what verse(s) do we find the instruction or example of what body parts need to be covered except to one’s spouse? Did this rule ever get violated by Jesus or the disciples or prophets? How did the early church practice in relation to this rule? I caution if there is no example or instruction, we are participating in futility mentioned in Colossians 2:20-23

    1. I am pretty sure I remember reading specific verses about what constitutes modesty but I’m too lazy to look it up right now. Specific verses aside, the author of the article wasn’t going for a set of ‘rules’ to dress by, dresses must be so long, etc. Her point was that we should dress in a way that doesn’t invite men to lust. If you think the bible doesn’t caution us in that respect then you need to read through your bible again.

    2. Yes, but where is the Biblical instruction or example of a woman (or man) dressing to avoid the lust of others and the clothing choices actually worked or was commended?

    3. You know, I remembered having this conversation with you before, Fatherof4. And sure enough, I found it! (

      You’ll be hard-pressed to find many theologians agreeing with you on this one. Clearly, exposing private body parts was not common practice anywhere among God’s people.

      I think we’ll just disagree on this one. Thanks for your comments!

  16. J, you certainly are a brave one and I have gleaned much from yours and other blogs with CMBA. I’m the 49 year old male “Anonymous” who posted earlier. I think it is extremely important that the ladies hear from “our” side on this issue. Please have mercy on us. We (men) are, I can’t think of a word strong enough, under a full frontal (no pun intended) attack from the world in this area. Magazines (non porn), movies, sitcoms, billboards, commercials, walking through the mall, radio DJs spew this stuff in our faces and we can’t even get away from it when we go to church. One might say, get a grip and control your “evil, lustful thoughts” but I think we are missing the real issue with that. My whole point about the receptionist was that it had nothing to do with lustful thoughts. It is about images…PERMANANT images. As men we don’t have to ask for them they are freely given. I believe it was James Dobson I heard once talking about the chemical reaction that actually takes place in a man’s brain when he sees a stimulating image. It effectively burns it into memory. Unfortunately I was exposed to some pretty hard core porn when I was only 11 or so. We lived near a military base and found some magazines in the woods near our house. To this day, I can see those images. I have prayed for them to be removed and have not used porn since but it may be on the monotonous drive back and forth to work or thinking about this blog topic that one or more will suddenly flash across the screen of my mind’s eye. It is a wonderful thing when it comes to the intimacy between husband and wife but torture when from outside those bounds. More recently, I have seen numerous ladies turn around to put their Bible down or pick it up a row or two in front of me and flash the 5 or 6 rows behind them with their gaping neckline. I was walking into the church and a Dad with his 3 kids in front of me were greeted by a lady with a church badge on (maybe worked with kids) and she leaned over to talk to the kids about their recent trip to Disney and Dad and I got an eye full. Maybe it is a generational thing but my wife and a few others about our age that I know of have a habit of reaching up with a hand and “pressing” the collar back against their neck to prevent this peep show. Wish more moms taught that to their daughters.

    Some of you may have heard of Dannah Gresh. She has a really good book called Secret Keeper and has been on either James Dobson’s program or the 700 Club (maybe both) and has written other books related to modesty. It has been several years since I read the book but I’m thinking she used to be in the fashion industry. The book actually talks a bit about the science of fashion, visual tricks they use and gives some very practical ways to “test” your wardrobe. I have included the link to the book and you can see by the cover picture she is not “frumpy” about fashion.

    This is just food for thought. Not necessarily my opinion but some things to chew on. I may ruffle some feathers but when a lady wears something “sexy” or more revealing for a husband on date night, what happens when friends stop by the table when they see them at the restaurant? Has she not just been “sexy” for her friend’s husband? For that matter what about all the other men in the place?

    Sorry to be so long winded.

    1. Hey, I didn’t post the message with the link. I’m not familiar with Dannah Gresh. But thanks. She is definitely Googable (is that a word?) and her book is available on Amazon. 🙂

      Also, Shaunti Feldhan wrote a book that talk about how images can burn into a man’s brain, and how men can recall a poignant image to mind even years later. Her point was ultimately something like: Help a guy out. Don’t show more than you should, show lots when you should (wife to hubby), and support your husband’s challenge to keep his mind and heart in check. Thanks!

  17. I’m going to throw another perspective in the mix. I know generally some of the comments which relate to dressing modestly in church in particular relate to the Christian ‘flock’, however if church is truly supposed to be a place where we hope to save lives and by so doing open our doors to ‘sinners’, what happens if prostitutes show up in church? What do we do? Chase them away for the fear that all men in church will lust after them? Or immediately rush to cover them up or take them to another room because they aren’t good enough to be amongst us holy folk?

    I completely agree that Christians and people who know better should dress modestly, but even if all the Christian women in the world dressed modestly there are still tons of women out there who may not have the same standards. So what happens to men when they are ‘out in the world’ so to speak? What about all sexual adverts displayed on banners and tv screens, buses and trains? How do men protect themselves from those?I mean as a Christian man on the beach what would you do? With tons of women in bikinis all around you? Maybe Christian men shouldn’t go to the beach then, after all you can’t expect women to ‘cover’ up.

    My point is that temptation is all around us and it will always be there. I’ve been in situations where I’ve literally gawked at women because they had everything spilling out. In those situations I wasn’t surprised to find my husband gawking along with me as well. He (and I)at that point needed to make a choice as to whether to carry on looking, or whether to look away. Sometimes you look in another direction only to be met by another visual temptation.*sigh*

    We need to guard our hearts and minds daily. Whether in church or anywhere else.

    1. You make a great point that we Christians can’t expect the world to have the same standards that we want to maintain. They’re not going to adopt our morality code without an underlying belief in the God who made it.

      And if someone walked into my church immodestly dressed, I sure hope that the first thing said to her would NOT be, “Cover up!” We must accept people where they are and then help them to walk that daily journey toward greater faith and obedience.

      We do have a duty to guard our minds and hearts. I would hope that those mature in the faith would help that goal by dressing modestly, but we have to be prepared for being in this world, even if we are not of this world.

      Thanks for your comment!

  18. J, I think this is a balanced take, and I appreciate that you deal with examples from your own life, and focus the reader on her own decisions. One of my main worries with discussions of modesty is that they almost invariably turn to “I saw this person wearing this thing once and *gasp* ” Our focus should be on how we deal with our own bodies, and in some (rare) cases, giving suggestions to those with whom we have a relationship. But not on making a running list of how immodest people around us are. That might make us feel good, but it certainly isn’t godly or helpful.

  19. Immodesty is first and foremost a pride issue. The reason why a woman dresses immodestly is to draw attention to herself – to get people (men and women alike) to look at her and to pay attention to her. Immodest dress is a billboard advertisement that screams “Hey everybody, I want you to look at me, me, me! Don’t look at your wife! Look at ME!” Women who dress immodestly are desperate. Many times they are aware that they have nothing else to offer but a peek at their body parts.

    I also think that dressing too “modestly” is immodest. Extreme modest dress is again “attention-getting” – wanting people to notice your “modesty”.

  20. I’m late to this post to comment having just found your blog. I think my question was vaguely glossed over but what about dressing a little more sexy for your husband when you’re out with him, particularly vacation? I know someone mentioned friends dropping by, and then the friend’s husband has seen you ‘that way’. I’m not talking about all out revealing-just sexier, maybe a peek of lace bra, or a dress that shows off nice legs (but not tooo short). If my husband and I go on a date, I do try to look attractive for him but locally (where we’d run into folks we know), I keep it ‘locally appropriate. When we vacationtogether, I step up the sexy factor more-all for him. He wants me to. Again, not falling out, in your face show it all attire. Subtle allure- sundresses. Maybe a little more cleavage (again, a hint-not falling out), strapless tops, etc. There is the factor of being a little different from our routine attire, the excitement of a ‘newness’. On one anniversary trip a few years ago, I secretly planned for months to purchase sexy sundresses and tops that he’d never seen. I found great deals at consignment shops. I found flirty skirts and silky tops. I also bought new underthings so that he could see new, different looks on me. For dinner each night, I would come out dressed up in these sexier, new outfits and he loved it. He felt adored that I would do this for him. To date, it is still his favorite trip.

    Incidentally, we went on a weekend get-away once with another couple-good friends of ours. We were walking along windowshopping as we headed to dinner. The husband spotted a sassy sundress in one store’s window. Nothing scandalous, just strappy and flattering. He commented, ‘ hey, could a good friend (hint, hint) take my wife shopping for something like this?’ She was a good dresser-updated, well-fitted clothing-but very …Mom-like. Khakis. Sensible shoes. Layered tops and sweaters. I noted a hint of desperation at seeing her in something a little more intriguing.

    Which goes back to my question/inquiry-so wives should ONLY wear these more alluring looks in the bedroom? Get all dressed up in a sassy dress/heels, etc and stay home?

    I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to be the wife in my capris, Crocs (I don’t wear those…) and t-shirt on vacation when everyone around is in sundresses looking much more attractive. As my husband says, he loves to show me off a little.


    1. So I was with you, understanding what you were saying, nodding a bit, etc., until I got to the end and read about the capris, crocs, and tee. See, I think that’s the false dichotomy: It isn’t EITHER frumpy and comfy OR trendy and revealing. It is possible for a Christian wife to ditch the sensible shoes and wear sassy heels instead, and still not reveal too much in what she wears. (Now you’ve got me thinking of the bright orangish, strappy heels I wore last Sunday, which several people complimented. 🙂 )

      I do pay attention to context in what I wear. Certainly, walking into your church service in a swimsuit, however modest, would be immodest in that context. So yeah, you might wear something a different on a sun-soaked vacation or a date out with your husband than you would for work or church.

      Yet there should still be a thread of modesty that runs through all of your clothing choices. Good Christians will likely disagree exactly where the line should be drawn…but we pretty much all know when someone’s not trying at all.

      My point is to try on both ends of this equation: Try to look nice. Try to be modest.

      Thanks so much for your question!

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