Why pick up a Christian sex book and read it through? How will that help your marriage? I came up with my Top 10 reasons why you, wife, should make reading a Christian sex book one of your goals this year.
10. The secular sources have it wrong. When you start looking for information about sex, it’s easy to turn to the magazine that promises “Get Satisfying Sex With 10 Easy Moves!” Or pick up a copy of Joy of Sex or the Kama Sutra. Or grab a porn movie or an erotic novel to see what those “sex experts” suggest. But the reality is dedicated Christians living by God’s plan for sexuality have the most satisfying sex. At best, secular sources offer ways to ramp up the pure physical; at worst, they encourage sexual sin and damage your relationship. Either way, a Christian sex book is far more likely to strengthen marital intimacy, because its foundation is God Himself, the One who thought up this thing called sex.
9. You had little or bad teaching on sex growing up. Some people received no instruction from parents or trusted adults on sexuality, others got a simple “don’t” (with “you dare” implied), and some received negative or iffy messages about sex. Some were exposed to way too much sexual information at way too young an age. Regardless, your thinking on sexuality may be off due to messages you absorbed while very young. It’s time to set the record straight about this gift from God. Reading a Christian sex book could do just that for you.
8. You’re curious what the Bible even has to say about sex. You may have heard the no-no scriptures about sex, but what else does the Bible say? Are there relevant messages in the Word of God about sex in your marriage? Absolutely! You might be surprised how many biblical passages apply. A good Christian sex book will shed light on what the Bible has to say about sex — both the traps of sexual sin and the joys of sexual intimacy.
7. Your libidos are mismatched. This is the most common complaint about sex in marriage — one of you wants it more than the other does. So how do you resolve that conundrum? The answer is by approaching sex the way God intended. A Christian sex book may help you navigate this mismatch — by reawakening a low libido, showing a frustrated spouse how to lovingly approach their mate, and helping you two find unity and intimacy in your marriage.
6. Sex doesn’t feel good. Maybe you keep hearing how fabulous sex is, but you don’t know what the hoopla is about. You certainly haven’t experienced sex as a pleasurable activity. Some wives know why it doesn’t feel good (e.g., physical problem, past sexual abuse), and others don’t grasp why it’s so problematic. Either way, a Christian sex book may help you understand better why sex doesn’t feel good and how to improve your experience so you can have the full measure of God’s gift of sexual pleasure and deep intimacy in your marriage.
5. Sex lacks that one-flesh feeling. Maybe the physical side of your sex life is pretty good, maybe it’s not. But regardless, you know it’s supposed to reflect that “one flesh” feeling (Genesis 2:24), and you don’t feel that. Sexual intimacy is indeed the molding of two bodies and hearts and spirits in a physical act that expresses and nurtures the marital relationship. But you might need a new perspective a Christian sex book can give to truly experience this deeper connection. With a different outlook and tools to apply in the bedroom, you can begin to shift your sex life from purely physical to intensely meaningful.
4. Sometimes — truth be told — you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s not like someone handed you a thick manual on this thing called sex and you have it down pat. Maybe things aren’t working quite like you expected they would. Perhaps you’d be willing to try something different, but you hesitate because you feel like a fish out of water. Or your spouse’s approach confuses and confounds you, and you wish someone would explain it already. A Christian sex book may help you become more comfortable and confident in the marital bedroom.
3. Your spouse wants you to read it. Okay, okay, I get it! It can be super-annoying for your spouse to shove a self-help book into your hands and say, “Read this!” As if they’re diagnosing you and wanting you to fix yourself for their benefit. But honestly, if your spouse is asking you to read a Christian sex book, it’s likely for one of two reasons: One, they want to share how much that book meant to them; or two, they aren’t satisfied with your marital intimacy and want to make it better. Isn’t it possible that — no matter how presented — these are both positive things? You don’t have to agree with everything your spouse wants or everything the book says, but reading it might give you things to discuss that will help you both come to a better place in your marriage.
2. You want to nurture your sexual intimacy. Even if your marriage bed is a happy place, it’s important to keep nurturing your sexual intimacy. Maybe you’d like to spice things up — add a few more ideas to your repertoire. Maybe your focus has faded, and you want to recommit to making sex a priority. Or you’d simply like to keep sexual intimacy going strong. A Christian sex book can help you nurture sexual intimacy by providing biblically based advice and reminding you of this beautiful gift from our Creator.
1. You won a copy! Yep, for Mother’s Day or in anticipation of summer coming or something, I feel like giving away another copy of Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives.
Simply comment below on any marriage resource (book, video series, workshop) that has helped you or that you’d like to experience. I’ll choose a winner on Sunday and announce on Monday.