Hot, Holy & Humorous

High 5 Favorite Blog Posts of 2017

It’s time for my High Five, which is what I’m calling my Saturday posts in which I share five things I want my readers to know about—whether resources, Hot, Holy & Humorous happenings, or quick takeaways for your marriage bed.

One of my favorite fellow sex bloggers, Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage, recently asked about a favorite blog post from last year. Oh my goodness! Seeing as I had 145 posts in 2017, it’s a really tall order to pick one.

But perusing my content, I fairly quickly came up with five favorite blog posts from last year.

blog post title + illustration of computer screen with male/female symbols insideIn case you missed them, or want to go back and re-read, here are those posts and why they make my favorites list:

 1. Q&A with J: “What Should We Call Persistent Porn Use?”

Title with text over black hole graphic background

There’s been a bit of an argument over whether watching a lot of porn should be called an addiction or a habit. In this post, I tackle that question with my own thoughts, research on the issue, and other bloggers’ posts that are worth reading on the subject.

I wanted to include this in my favorites list because I think we should question our terminology sometimes to make sure we are speaking in ways that actually help people overcome sinful behavior and challenges to their marriage bed. I’m willing to be challenged and consider how to talk more effectively as well.

2. Do Our Yoga Pants Make Men Sin?

Title with 5 pairs of yoga pants

At the risk of setting off another round of comments, I’m still adding this one to the list. Because it shows the ongoing debate about who is responsible in the modesty/lust conundrum.

I deal with this issue a lot as a Christian sex blogger, because it’s often on people’s minds. But as a middle-aged woman, I can also tell you we gals receive hundreds of admonitions to dress modestly over the years. And by golly, some ladies are just exhausted from it all—as if our yoga pants will cause “the downfall of otherwise good Christian husbands.”

3. How Did You and Your Spouse Meet? Here’s My Story.

Blog post title + picture of J and her husband in the park

This was just fun to write about my meet-to-marry story and share photos of me and “Spock” through the years. I have always felt like God had a firm hand in our coming together, and maybe you’ll agree after you read our tale.

Also fun was reading your stories in the comments!

4. A Letter to the Low Drive Husband

Blog post title + woman's hands writing a letter

I have a lot of high-drive wives reading my blog, and I’m so glad you ladies are here! Because while you represent somewhere from 15% to 30% of marriages, your type of marriage is underrepresented in Christian books and teaching about sexual intimacy. I want you to feel at home here on my blog, free to be who God made you to be and—at the same time—to struggle for something better in your marriage bed.

Even more underrepresented than high-drive wives, though, are low-drive husbands. I honestly do not know of a single blog or ministry reaching out to these men. That’s why I believe this post is so important, and it’s one that higher-drive wives might want to share with their low-libido husband.

5. On “Pigs,” Good Men, and the Difference

Blog post title + four pigs mucking about in a muddy spot within a field

Ask me what I’ve been really passionate about this past year, and one topic that will come up is the #MeToo movement. Why? Because I know from the stories that wives share with me that sexual misconduct against women can damage how they view men and sex in their marriage. Thus, in my pursuit of sex in marriage by God’s design, I’m highly motivated for our society to see a substantially decrease in sexual abuse and harassment.

This particular post felt like the culmination of my thoughts, because when I went looking for biblical answers, the simple and straightforward words of Jesus illuminated the subject so clearly. As usual, our Lord has the answers.

And that’s it! My five favorites of 2017. Do you have a favorite I didn’t mention? If so, I’d love to know which post reached out to you this past year.

And remember…

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11 thoughts on “High 5 Favorite Blog Posts of 2017”

  1. I’ve just spent most of my commute reading the discussion on porn, from back in March, nearly a year ago — Wow!! (And my commute is well over an hour). That is some really, really good discussion there, and I hope/pray it has been helpful to those who have read the post and the comments. Lots to consider, just sort of sitting here processing it all

    Keep it up, J, and all who commented, and continue to do so, it is bearing fruit, whether we see the or not. It’s proof positive good things are happening online between people who are otherwise strangers. Good to revisit how we met our spouses as well. That was fun.

    I for one plan on sticking around a while.

    1. If you actually read the posts, you’ll see that #1 is an attempt to help those who struggle (men and women). #3 (my story) is extremely positive about marriage and my husband in particular. #4 reaches out to wonderful men who are struggling. And #5 praises men who treat women well, of which there are many. I’m saddened that you feel men got a raw deal here, because that’s not at all how I feel about men and the way I tend to write about them.

      1. I actually think this blog is one of the christian sex blogs that is the most male friendly. Before i knew anything about you J i could tell through your writing that you had sons. I could tell that you had a fair amount of lived life experience dealing with boys/men. Other christian sex bloggers who have only girls; well you can tell right away that its not as man-friendly a place. Keep up the good work J!

        1. Thank you, Chris! I appreciate you chiming in with that.

          And I do have sons, but I feel like I’ve always been pretty male positive in my life. I had more guy friends in college than girls. I tended to appreciate how straightforward men can be, although as we ladies age I find more women being candid too.

        2. yes,,

          I would rather know from a woman’s perspective on her intimate and emotional needs and discover new one’s along the way, than relying on society’s locker room/porn like ideologies which trivializes what they think a woman really likes.

      2. [Removed comment against fellow blogger. Not the place to air that.] But 4 out of 5 of these posts has to do with what men (some or most) are doing wrong. I found that interesting, given that I would guess that most of your 145 posts aren’t about men doing the wrong thing.

  2. Hey J,

    Stopping by to say that I love your blog and have read it for a few years now. I remember all 5 of the posts mentioned. Unfortunately you may notice me not commenting much now. My husband and I separated a little over a week ago. I’ll be checking your blog, but there’s a lot I probably won’t be reading for obvious reasons. But I appreciate the good work that you do and will read and comment as often as I can.

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