Hot, Holy & Humorous

800 Posts, Mostly about Sex

If you’d told me that I would be blogging for seven years, put up 800 posts, most of which have been about sex, and have thousands of people regularly reading them, I’d have said, “Excuse me, I need a vacation from just thinking about all that.”

Actually, I still want that vacation.

But rather than a vacation, I’ve been on a journey. I started in December 2010 with a Blogger site, writing one post a week and agonizing every time my finger hovered over the Publish button. I was sending my thoughts about sex into the world! A subject I was passionate about, but that not everyone was comfortable discussing.

Still, I believed that:

  • Sex mattered in marriages, more than people often spoke aloud.
  • The Word of God had far more to say about sex than I’d known while growing up or struggling with premarital promiscuity.
  • God wanted me to do something with my story of redemption—and wouldn’t leave me alone until I did!

Seven years later, here’s my blog by the numbers:

Pardon that pause. I had to be awakened from my faint with smelling salts. Because good gravy! those are some big numbers.

But the number I don’t have—the number I’m curious about, but don’t need to know—is how many marriages God has strengthened through Hot, Holy & Humorous.

He deserves all the credit. While I believe wholeheartedly in what I do, and think I do it well, even that comes from God.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:4-7:

For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.

I’m just glad I got to be part of the gardening. (Because in real life, I suck at gardening.)

And you have made my journey so much nicer! I started this venture alone — well, me and God — but along the way, I’ve encountered so many who have trusted me with their stories, invited me to share what I’ve learned, encouraged me with generous words and deeds, and thanked me for whatever part I’ve played in their journey to a stronger, more intimate marriage.

As we approach Valentine’s Day, I simply want to say thank you to my brothers and sisters in Christ who have kept me and this blog going. You’re all sweethearts!

Now go bless your spouse with your love! And a little bow-chicka-wow-wow, while you’re at it. 😉

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17 thoughts on “800 Posts, Mostly about Sex”

  1. Dear J:

    There was a time in my life when my wife’s refusal was a big struggle, I considered the idea of looking outside what I was not getting at home, but I made a vow, to God and to her, to be faithful, and besides that, I love her deeply, and would have been able to look her in the eye if something like that had happened. Looking for ways to “fix” her I started going on line to find resources to that purpose, sadly for me I was not able to find any really helpful catholic websites dealing with the issues of marital sexuality in an open way and continued my search, I found many sites that were not taking in account God´s wishes for us his children regarding sexuality, and a lot of the advice they gave was not going to help my marriage in any way; Paul Byerly’s The Marriage Bed and The Generous husband was where I first found some solace, a way to understand what was going on and why, reading the forums came to realize it was not only me having a difficult time, which was a relief, this was years ago, then I found your blog, your humorous approach, your wit, you being so candid and open and caring, and again, all the coments from your readers, gave me new ways to understand and appreciate my wife, to make a long story short, we are having more sex than we used to, but not a lot more, I have learned to be more patient, she has learned to be more willing, sex is never a chore anymore, I stopped feeling it was pitty sex, she is now more engaged and loving. I still wish it was more than once a week, but hey, scarcity make an item even more precious, sex might not be much more, but love, communication and understanding between each other is a lot more. Now, my wife is a beautiful working woman, we have 4 children, all of them grown up now, she has a big heart, a strong will, and a desire to help her family and others, she Works a lot, has time for all the important matters in our family, the extended family and all, she’s a great woman, and I love her because of that.

    To summarize, wonder no more, your blog has been a blessing for my marriage, I thank God for you, your marriage, the work you do to help us others. and for the realization that the hard path we had to walk to get where we are today had to be walked, and that God was always with us even when we were not able to see him mainly because we had turned our back to him. I have prayed for you, for Spock and your children. Keep up the good work J.
    Thank you very very much

    1. Lucio, thank you for sharing all that! I pray for ever-increasing intimacy between you and your wife. Many blessings!

    2. One excellent resource is Fill These Hearts by Christopher West. He is a devout Catholic and writes about how our spirituality and sexuality are intertwined. We are intended for pleasure.

      He also lays out the argument that sexual union in marriage is a sign and wonder that points to our ultimate union with God.

  2. What an excellent body of work you’ve created; I’m sure God is very pleased, and that one day you will be amazed by the people you meet in heaven who just want to say, Thank You.

    I have something over a thousand posts, with about 440 on dealing with a terminal illness, mainly written for the caregiver from the patient’s perspective.

    It seemed like the right thing to do, and having to be honest about what was and is happening has sometimes been hard, but those are the posts that seem to resonate with people.

    I’ll go on as long as I can. My wife has been stepping in as my strength has been failing, so perhaps she’ll pick up up in toto. We’ll see.

  3. Congrats, J, and thanks. I’ve got 400+ blog posts/columns over the same period, but mine cover all aspects of spirituality. They’re pretty easy. Your discipline and passion for godly sex is a gift to many of us. God bless your focus, and may your creative well never run dry!

  4. Thank you, J!!! You’re one of the blogs I read before getting married in 2015. You started my marriage off (in the sex department) well! Two babies, a house renovation, full time ministy, postpartum depression, and our share of squabbles, we’re still going strong. You helped to lay a great and positive foundation. Some advice I’ve held onto so many times “sex is good for you, too!” And “sex more days than not” …..oh “and let him see you naked with the lights on” and “relax and have fun” and…..well, those are my top favorites… I could go on and on. 😉 Keep up the great work. Many blessings to you!!

    1. Ooh, I love that you shared some favorites! Thanks so much for reading. Thrilled your marriage is going strong.

  5. First of all, to you J, and to any and all who read this, Happy Valentine’s Day! Allow me to share this:

    To all who struggle with this date on the calendar, you have my prayers: I’ve been there. I had three consecutive disaster V-Days –. *during* my marriage. They were not easy, and they were not fun. Thank God, I survived, and so did our marriage. You will too, single, married, man, or woman. And last year at this time – a second honeymoon. Been there too. To all for whom this day is a blessing, may God give you so much more. And prayers and encouragement to all somewhere in between.

    Now to your question. I have found this site helpful, and enjoyable. I can only speak for myself, because my wife is not a fan of online sites. For herself, I mean; it isn’t that she’s opposed on principle or anything like that. And I am a pretty careful guy, as she often reminds me to be – careful and prayerful. I give myself time to decide if I like people I meet, in real-time and online, how much I like them if I do, and how far I can trust them. I am also very skeptical, through hard experience, of books, conferences, churches, sites, organizations, etc. that claim “this *will* change your life”.

    I think you get where I am coming from – and that much definitely comes across in the interactions I see with others on here. I’m sure it’s not always easy, and having your own marriage to tend to besides. All that to say, I trust you, and this site, and yes, considering the short time I’ve begun participating and responding, it’s been quite helpful.

  6. I am so grateful to have found your blog. Me and my husband have been married almost 14 years and have six kids. We have recently decided that our family feels complete. I have had a hard time with this, not because I want more children. Child bearing is actually very difficult for me (emotional and physical) and I am glad to put that behind me. I have always viewed sex as a way to have children. I am in complete awe of how amazing our bodies are and how ,for the most part, our bodies (especially women’s bodies) were made to create life. I have only thought of sex this way for the last 14 years. I have been praying that God would let me still desire my husband even though our child bearing years are over. Your blog has helped me see God’s plan for sex and how it is vital to a marriage in it’s many different seasons. My husband is loving that I have turned my sexual desires to him and we feel more connected than ever before. Now I pray that we will have an undisturbed moment to express our love to each other!

  7. Yes J! Thank you for doing a hard job. Good grief, I have a hard time telling my kids the basics! I can’t imagine feeling called to let the whole world in on my thoughts of sex and being so transparent! BUT, your blog (along with Sheila’s) have helped me to have an even healthier perspective on sex with my husband. And I’ve passed many posts along to my daughter who is getting married in less than a month!!!! ?

  8. Pingback: The Biggest Challenge to My Sex Life (That I Never Told You About) | Hot, Holy & Humorous

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