While I certainly believe God made us humans more complex than many of the word pictures I paint, comparing sex to other things we relate to can help us better understand a principle or application. So I got to thinking . . . what else could I compare sex to? I suspect I could draw a principle or application from just about any analogy someone suggested.
Today I’m giving it a shot.
I started with the statement in my head of “Sex in marriage is like ____.” Then I used an online random word generator and got five nouns — completely random! — and here I go.
Sex in marriage is like a tower. Easy phallic references aside, sex in marriage is like a tower. How so? Put simply, it stands above the rest.
Towers are taller than the buildings around them — whether it’s the Sears Tower in Chicago, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or the water tower in your small town. Likewise, godly sex in marriage rises above the rest, its intimacy superior to any other sexual relationships. And it needs to be held up like a tower for others to see that it supersedes the short, squat versions of sex that don’t mirror God’s design. Indeed, God is the master architect of sex, and when we follow His plan, our sexual intimacy with our husband can soar to great heights. Let’s aim to climb to that top and enjoy the amazing view.
Sex in marriage is like a cape. Capes are known for doing two things — keeping you warm and signifying you’re a superhero. Both apply to sex in marriage.
Experiencing true intimacy with your husband in the marriage bed gives your relationship a comforting warmth. You can snuggle right into that secure feeling of knowing that you belong to him and his desire is for you (Song of Songs 7:10). Moreover, that foundation of satisfying intimacy can give you greater confidence to get through your day and accomplish what you need to accomplish. It likely has that effect on your husband too. Many husbands report feeling like Superman when they experience great lovemaking and especially when they pleasure their wife to climax.
So yeah, grab your cape.
Sex in marriage is like an encyclopedia. The constant message in our world is that unmarried, uncommitted people are having the best sex. And that’s a lie. Both the Bible and research are clear that married couples have more frequent and more satisfying sexual intimacy. Why? Because sex in marriage is like an encyclopedia.
Over the course of many years in a marriage, you build up so many entries of what your husband likes, what arouses you, positions you tried, locations you made love, activities you enjoy, and on and on and on. Dating relationships, “friends with benefits,” and one-night stands are like a single entry, whereas a covenant relationship allows you time and opportunity to get to know one another so deeply that you can become the expert on your spouse. Who wants a single page torn out of Britannica when you can get the whole set of encyclopedias?
Sex in marriage is like a statue. It’s a goal in my life to see Michelangelo’s work in person — specifically, his statues. I’m awed by his ability to sculpt marble into beautiful carved likenesses. When you look up Michelangelo’s famous statues, you discover that they took time — years. Surprisingly, Wikipedia reports that “Sculpting of the [Pietà] took less than two years” — like that’s a short time!
Sex in marriage is like a statue in that same way — it takes time to bring the best out of the block of marble you begin with. We can get frustrated at the time and effort required to deal with obstacles and challenges; sometimes, it feels like the “marble” is hard and uncooperative. But with God guiding our hands, with patience and care, and with ongoing hope that a beautiful statue waits to be brought forth, we can sculpt something absolutely gorgeous in our marriage bed — an intimacy unrivaled here on earth. As Michelangelo famously said, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” Be the sculptor of your marital intimacy, and let God guide your hand.
Sex in marriage is like a square. Not being very big on math and spatial relations, I had to think about this one for a bit. But yeah, sex in marriage is like a square.
A square is a four-sided figure with sides and angles of equal length. It’s a balanced figure, with two sets of parallel lines, and a line running through its center produces two figures of the same shape and size (triangles). There is true symmetry to a square. Likewise, marriage without sex is unbalanced, unconnected. It’s like two triangles that never fully meet, while sex in your marriage brings them together and creates a new whole — a square.
But that square has boundaries too. There are outer limits and those “walls” need to be maintained to keep sexual intimacy where it belongs — exclusive to you two and your marriage.
So that’s my sex in marriage is like ___ exercise! I really, truly did use the five random words given to me. Now let’s hear your take: How do you think sex in marriage is like a tower, a cape, an encyclopedia, a statue, or a square? Or what other analogies do you have for sex in marriage?