Do Not Disturb blog challenged fellow marriage bloggers to write a post on “We do . . .” showing “what real marriages are like.” I encourage you to pop over and take a look at their post on Keeping Our Marriage Strong: We Do . . . Justin and Megan listed things they do to keep their marriage strong.
Now here’s my contribution for what we do to keep the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Hot, Holy and Humorous strong.
We do committed. At this point, we know that we are “in it to win it.” We’re like Prime Minister Winston Churchill during World War II (1941) advising to “never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never.” We’ve long since misplaced the towel that we might have thrown in at the worst of our marriage. It’s simply no longer an issue. The “D” word is never spoken, never hinted at. God has made us one flesh and “let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:9).
We do presence. We spend time with each other, growing our friendship, sharing our concerns and joys, and just hanging out. Time matters. Show me what you give your time to, and I’ll show you what you treasure. Sometimes it requires creative scheduling or sacrificing other activities, but we prioritize our marriage.
We do do-overs. We don’t hold grudges from when our sex life sucked or from the inane thing he said ten minutes ago. (Of course, I used he because I never say anything stupid, right?) When you get married, you believe this person to whom you pledged your undying love will never let you down.
Yes, he will. The only one who will not let you down is God. Your spouse, however, will mess up. So it’s important to treat them as God does — giving forgiveness, grace, and the chance to do over. We believe that if King David and the Apostle Peter got a second chance (and a third and a fourth), then so should my spouse.
We do humor. I think God is funny. Really. The Creator of these animals is bound to have a great sense of humor:
And then there’s the one Jesus told about the camel and the eye of the needle. Imagine you’re the first to hear that analogy. Wouldn’t you laugh at the image?
Laughter is a blessing from God. Proverbs says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine” (17:22). In the best of times, our marriage has been filled with wordplay, jokes, snickering, and gut-jiggling laughter. I’ve even talked about how sex is humorous. We do humor. We look for opportunities to make each other smile.
We do sex. (Regular readers saw that coming.) Without physical affection and intimacy, this relationship is a parental partnership, a roommate arrangement, or a nice friendship. While those things are okay, they are not a marriage. Even in Song of Solomon 5:16 when the wife refers to her husband as friend, her romantic passion is listed first: “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.”
In my marriage, we reconnect physically as frequently as we can and make those moments count by participating fully in the experience of physical unity. We value intimacy as an expression of our love, a nurturing of our love, and a message of gratitude toward God for His pleasurable gift.
What “We do . . .” phrase would you use for your marriage? How do you keep your marriage strong and real?