Daily Archives: May 30, 2017

Using a Blindfold during Sex

Blog post title + woman lying on bed with blindfold onVisit any online marital aid retailer, and you’ll see that blindfolds are one of the items available for purchase. Why are they popular?

Let’s talk a little about using a blindfold during sex.

Why use a blindfold? When you block one of your five senses, you tend to become more aware of the others. Since we usually rely on visuals during sexual intimacy, it can be an interesting experience to wear a blindfold and see what else you notice instead.

You might find that you hear more or smell better, but the most appealing sense is probably touch. Since you can’t see it coming, your husband’s touch could be an arousing surprise when it settles on your skin. Also, not being able to track his touch with your eyes, you might simply lay back and attend to the sensation itself.

I recognize that some use a blindfold in sex as part of sexual domination. Sexual domination is not a practice I encourage. I don’t buy into heavy power plays in the marriage bed, but you can see my thoughts on that issue here.

Yet most couples who use a blindfold during sex are simply wanting a different experience, and blocking your sight can result in different awareness in the marriage bed.

What can you use for a blindfold? Like I said, online Christian marital aid stores stock them. Some people simply use home items like a necktie or bandanna. You can also purchase a sleep mask from the personal care section of your grocery or discount store.

What you want to make sure is that the blindfold is comfortable on your head, so that your attention isn’t drawn to tightness, bulkiness, slippage, etc. Also find material that feels good on your skin and eyes. Blindfolds stocked by marital aid stores do an especially good job with this, but you can find other options as well.

Be sure the mask will cover your sight entirely. It could end up being more distracting if a sliver of light or images peeks through a gap between the blindfold and your body. You want your eyes totally covered.

What should you do once the blindfold is on? It’s really about what the sighted spouse should do. Because it’s the one not wearing the blindfold who can take extra steps to make sure this is an enjoyable experience.

Slow down the touching. I doubt you want to be unexpectedly grabbed and groped; rather, you want to be stroked and savored. Taking it a little slower will let the blindfolded spouse focus fully on the sensations.

Communicate clearly. You can’t see each other, so you have to use words or moving the other’s body parts to coordinate. You may need to be a little patient with getting into position or your partner responding to your requests.

Introduce new sensations. Grab a feather, an ice cube, a small massage roller, a satin scarf, or anything else with an intriguing texture and have the sighted spouse stroke the blindfolded spouse with the object. Again, go slow to get the full effect.

Let hands explore. Have the sighted spouse lie back whiled the blindfolded spouse explores with his (or her) hands. Take time to get to know your mate’s curves and angles and sensitive places, all with the sense of touch. It might help you “see” each other’s bodies in a different way.

How does a blindfold add to marital intimacy? So far, I’ve talked about the pleasure involved with using a blindfold during sex. But while I believe pleasure is a marvelous part of sex (thank you, God!), the highest goal in the marriage bed is intimacy. What, then, can be gained in the intimacy department by using a blindfold?

Two things, I believe: One, the sighted spouse has the opportunity to bless their mate. If your husband is the one wearing the blindfold, you can focus your attention on his pleasure, basking in how his body responds to your touch and finding unanticipated ways to arouse him even more. Many husbands also enjoy flipping that around and giving their wives focused pleasure.

Two, the blindfolded spouse must demonstrate trust. Sex is vulnerable, no matter what. But if you can’t see what’s happening, you feel even more at the mercy of your mate. You don’t know what’s coming, so you can’t object or prepare for it. But it’s a beautiful thing to trust your husband so thoroughly that you know he will treat your body with respect and care. And to know that he trusts you.

You might try using a blindfold during sex and see what you think. If you don’t like it, you can always take it off. But you might discover some interesting, intimate sensations.