Daily Archives: March 14, 2011

Is Vacuuming Foreplay?

Plenty of us have had that moment, ladies, where Clueless Man walks in from a long day at work.  One look around our house should tell Clueless Man that the next natural disaster movie could be filmed on location in our living room; laundry has piled up to heights unseen by Sir Edmund Hillary; dinner is bubbling over the pot like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice cauldron; children are yelling creative epithets at one another; and Frazzled Wife’s face has permanently frozen (as her parents promised) into an expression mirroring Edward Munch’s The Scream.  YET, Clueless Man walks over and (a) kisses neck; (b) grabs derrière; and/or (c) fondles breast of Frazzled Wife and suggests a sexual interlude.

What?!!  Is this guy paying attention at all?

Now try Scenario #2:  Smart-Sexy Guy walks in to the whirlwind that is our home and notices Frazzled Wife collapsed onto the floor praying for a break, a spa day, or – better yet – Jesus’ Second Coming.  He scoops up Frazzled Wife and gives her a non-sexual hug.  He says, “Honey, it looks like you’ve had a tough day. Why don’t you take it easy for a few minutes? I’ll finish supper and take care of the kids.”  Frazzled Wife drags herself to the bedroom, locks the door, arranges three chairs in front of that door, grabs earplugs, and lies down with a wet cloth over her eyes.  Meanwhile, Smart-Sexy Guy corrals the kids, straightens up the house, starts a load of laundry, and finishes supper.

Is there any wife out there who is not sighing with satisfaction at this thought?  Where is this Smart-Sexy Guy? And how can I trade my Clueless Man in for one of those!

Sorry, ladies, I don’t know any husbands who do that all the time.  All men have clueless moments.  Some are clued-in better than others, but it doesn’t come naturally to most guys.  They honestly don’t see the mess, the craziness, the help you need.  Instead, they get home, notice your fine figure hovering near the stove, and think “Gimme.”

I have, however, explained to my own man that it is a big turn-in when he helps me out around the house.  In fact, all housework should be considered foreplay.  Wave a toilet brush around the bowl, and I start to purr.  Fold a load of laundry, and I start to pant.  Run the vacuum around the house for me, and I am good to go.

Psychologist and Christian author Kevin Leman has a terrific book entitled Sex Begins in the Kitchen.  He wrote it to convince men that women are wooed throughout the day by all the little things that contribute to making us feel valued and loved.  When we feel those things, we are far more open to physical intimacy when opportunity strikes.

In contrast, when we can’t reach our bed because of the mountains of clutter and mess in the way, it’s hard to get in the mood.  All we women can think about in that moment is our ever-growing list of to-dos.  When Hubby marks off some of our to-dos, it clears not only our list but our minds.  We can concentrate better on that guy who wielded a broom moments before and find him pretty darn attractive.

What chore could your husband do that would turn you on?