Daily Archives: March 24, 2014

What’s So Great about an Orgasm?

Today, let’s celebrate the female orgasm. Why? Because it’s pretty great.

Many wives have experienced orgasm and can back me up here. Other wives who haven’t yet had the Big O, don’t sweat that you aren’t there because it sometimes takes a while to figure out, but do focus on your pleasure during sex and you may get there soon.

Why should even want an orgasm? Well, besides it physically feeling like the best amusement park ride ever, here’s some of what makes an orgasm so great:

Her pleasure. To reach orgasm, most couples must be intentional about it. A few wives do indeed orgasm very easily, but for the vast majority of wives, a sliver of foreplay immediately followed by intercourse ain’t gonna cut it. Which means that if she orgasms, the couple has placed a priority on her pleasure as well as his. In many cases, the husband is demonstrating a desire to arouse, excite, and satisfy his wife — even when it means sex takes longer than required for his own satisfaction. A wife’s orgasm shows intention and priority placed on making sure both partners experience a peak of pleasure in the marriage bed.

Pull-out

Health benefits. Research studies have long shown health benefits of sex and, more specifically, orgasm. Several of these benefits, we wives can personally confirm. Orgasm produces a flow of the bonding chemical Oxytocin, which produces feelings of connection and calm — the same feelings that help you get a good night’s sleep. Endorphins produced during orgasm increase pain tolerance, thus alleviating pain like that headache or backache or even cramps. Blood flow in the brain is increased as well, keeping your noggin healthy. Regular orgasms give a workout to the very muscles responsible for maintaining continence — which we all want to maintain, right? — muscles which weaken with age and could use some exercise.

Orgasms have also been linked to lower blood pressure, less anxiety and depression, and a more youthful appearance. While some of these benefits also result from the sex itself, orgasms seem to boost the positive effects.

Mental break. To the awe or confusion of most men, women’s brains are inundated with a thousand thoughts. At any given moment, ask me what I’m thinking, and you might get up to fifteen items that have passed through my head in the last three seconds. I’m telling you, it’s a mine field in there. However, in the middle of a fabulous orgasm, all of those tangled thoughts and constant concerns melt away. A woman’s brain is overloaded with an explosion of pleasure — resulting in a lovely mental respite, a Zen-like moment.

Asteroids arcade gameHaving grown up in the video-game-arcade era, I think about this like an old video game. Take Asteroids, for example. (Anyone else ever play that?) You control an arrow in the middle of the screen, and asteroids come at you. You must shoot and blow them up before they can crash into your little arrow. (Yeah, yeah, the graphics were simple.) At first, the asteroids come slowly, then more quickly. And that’s how my day feels. I wake up, and thoughts intrude a few at a time until I reach my normal brain function of a galaxy-full of asteroids bombarding me all day long. But during orgasm? It’s like that moment when you blow up the asteroids in a swirling frenzy, and kaboom! all of them are suddenly gone and the universe around you has gone peacefully quiet. Your body releases tension, and a beautiful calm washes over you. It’s quite a lovely feeling, that mental respite.

God’s beautiful design. When God created people and marriage, He had innumerable choices of how to design the sexual act. Look around at the rest of nature, and you can see some of the options. When it came to His people, though, He seemed to have really thought it through. Considering His design, the orgasm is one part of an amazing way to link a husband and wife in sexual intercourse.

When a wife’s arousal increases, she tends to desire more frequent thrusting and deeper penetration. When a husband thrusts more frequently and penetrates more deeply, more sensitive areas of her vagina are contacted, thus increasing her excitement even more. When her husband closes in on his climax, his penis pulses with the release of ejaculate; and when the wife closes in on climax, her vagina contracts with spasms; and both of these actions encourage the other’s completion and sensations of pleasure. It’s a dance of body parts, each doing their thing, but interwoven in a rather astounding way. Her climax facilitates his climax, and his climax facilitates hers. What a beautiful design.

Now does this happen every time? No. But part of God’s set-up here is a lifetime together to learn one another’s bodies and godly attitudes that make it far more likely for both of you to enjoy sex and experience climax. So the longer you’re married, the more you attend to one another’s pleasure, the more you live out God’s intended plan, the more likely you are to perfect the dance. You get the steps down, you feel each other’s rhythm, you synchronize your movements, and you almost move as one.

So what do you think is so great about having an orgasm? What benefits do you experience?

And if you’re struggling with having an orgasm at all, here are some other posts that might help: Orgasm: If Only I Could O, 3 Tips on Having a Great Orgasm, and Beyond the Single Orgasm.