My husband and I have had a dream since the first year of our marriage, a longing for something that we would use and appreciate regularly: We want a double shower.
While our dream shower looks something like this:
Our real “shower” looks more like this:
Why do we want a double shower? Because, like many married couples, we enjoy showering together. If you haven’t given it a go in your marriage, I’ve come up with a few reasons you might want to to try showering or bathing together — even if you don’t have a double shower or a jacuzzi bathtub.
Let’s start with some practical ones:
Showering together saves time. Sometimes while getting ready in the morning, we both need to shower right away. So who goes first? Why not just get in there together? Give him the water while you’re doing the non-water stuff like shampooing your hair, and then switch out to rinse off. If you do this together for a while, you’ll even establish a rhythm so there’s no “excuse me” or “my turn” needed. Plus, you both get the hot water before it runs out (assuming that could be an issue at times in your home).
It’s a good space for privacy. We’ve discovered this is one of the best places to have a private conversation. Our kids can’t hear us over the sound of the water, and they’ve learned not to barge in on mom or dad taking a shower or bath. Maybe talking isn’t what you had in mind with sharing a shower, but remember I’m talking practical now: It really is a good space for private communication.
Your mate can help you clean up. Sure, you can buy a bath brush and get that luffa sponge on a stick to reach that spot between your shoulder blades, but it feels way better to have your hubby soap you up in those hard-to-reach places. Or even the easy-to-reach places. Some husbands love to shampoo their wives’ hair, and we ladies know how good that can feel to have your scalp massaged. Given that your hubby may want to touch every part of you he can, he might do an even more thorough job of cleaning you up than you do yourself — if you let him grab the washcloth and give it a go.
Now onto more fun reasons to shower or bathe together:
What a lovely view! I’ll just say it: Naked. Yep, you’re both naked and get to see each others’ bodies. While many husbands love that idea, plenty of us wives are pretty happy about it too. I bet you can think of some pleasant physical features on your husband that are hidden when he’s clothed. But when he’s showering or bathing? That sight is yours to enjoy. Let him enjoy the view of your beautiful body, and savor God’s handiwork in your husband at the same time.
You know you’re clean for lovemaking. Good hygiene on any given day is a reasonable expectation in your marriage. However, if you’re going to have close contact, you may like the idea of cleaning those areas right before making love. In particular, some wives have expressed that they don’t want to touch with their hands or mouths those places on their husband’s body that might hold sweat, body odor, or even germs. Of course, you can get a little OCD on this point, but there’s an easy way to make sure you’re both squeaky clean when you begin: Shower or bathe together. Soap him up and rinse him off in a way that assures you he’s practically sanitized.
It can be fabulous foreplay. With that view and the closeness and the touching, your time in the shower or bath can easily turn into foreplay. Slow down the soaping up and caress each other. Embrace and kiss. Engage in a sexual activity…or two. The water brushing up against your flesh can awaken your skin sensitivity, making you even more receptive to his touch and attention. I have this one particular memory . . . never mind. Just sayin’ it can happen.
Yeah, you can “do it” in there too. Can you have sex in the shower or bath? Sure, you can. As I’ve mentioned before, however, the water will work against your lubrication. So you may want to bring a water-resistant, silicone-based lube if you plan on having intercourse. Also, space may not be your friend. You definitely don’t want to slip and fall, break something, have your kids run in after they hear the crash, and then have to explain your injuries to the ER staff and eventually your in-laws. Consider carefully what position will work best for your particular shower or bath. But if you can make it happen, go for it!
I don’t know when hubby and I will get our dream double shower. I hope it’s in the next house we have. Regardless, we’ll keep showering together, because it’s yet another activity that builds our intimacy.
P.S. We also pray together in there. Really! I talked about it in this interview.
Note: It’s interesting that Paul Byerly at his XY Code blog also recently posted on this topic! This post has been in my queue for a while.