Daily Archives: January 7, 2017

Do You Pray for Your Sex Life?

Last week, I announced one of my goals for 2017 is to pray more. I admitted this wasn’t the goal for Hot, Holy & Humorous that I personally wanted, but God kept bringing it to the forefront of my mind. And I invite wives to join me in this worthy goal.

Now I write about sex in marriage, so I think the first question we need to ask about prayer is this one: Do you pray for your sex life?

Do You Pray for Your Sex Life? with word PRAY in backgroundWe can get to the how of praying for your sex life later, but the truth is that many wives feel awkward praying to God about their sexuality. Thus, feeling more comfortable about bringing our sexual concerns to the throne of our Heavenly Father has to be Step One.

Philippians 4:6 is often cited as a go-to verse about prayer: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Notice those words anything and in every situation? There are no restrictions about what we can bring before God. He’s open to hearing it all. If it’s something we’re anxious about, He wants to know. If we have a request, He wants to listen. If we are thankful, He appreciates our gratitude.

I am guilty — and perhaps you are too — of sometimes feeling that God doesn’t really care about some small thing going on in my life. Or that it’s selfish to talk to Him about my concerns when there are people across the globe suffering far more than I. Shouldn’t I allow God to use His precious time dealing with the starving, the oppressed, the brokenhearted?

But that’s not what Scripture says. God’s time isn’t limited. He’s got whatever it takes to hear everything you want to tell Him, and everything I want to tell Him, and everything every other person bowing their heads wants to tell Him. Do we believe that?

Do we know, really know, that any and every concern we have about our marriage bed is something God wants to hear?

I’ve talked a lot about how sex in marriage is a gift from God. So let’s make this analogy. What if a father handcrafted a toy, gave it to his child for Christmas, and the child didn’t know how to use the toy? Wouldn’t the father take time to instruct the child and show how it worked? Or what if the toy chipped, or a spring broke, or a wheel came off? Wouldn’t that father want the child to come to him right away and ask for the toy to be fixed? What if nothing was wrong with the toy; rather, it worked beautifully and the child wanted to say thank you? Wouldn’t the father want to hear those words?

Yes, I know sex is not a toy. But, like this toy, it is a gift from our Father intended to bring pleasure and intimacy. It is handcrafted just for us, His children. Surely He cares what happens to that gift after it’s given.

In fact, the four words that precede Philippians 4:6 cited above are these: “The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:5). He’s right here, waiting to hear what you have to say, even if it’s about your sex life. For many of you, especially if it’s about your sex life.

Prayer Challenge This Week: Say a prayer specifically focused on the sexual intimacy in your marriage, bringing your anxiety, your requests, your gratitude, or whatever else you have to say to your Heavenly Father.

Praying More: A Wife’s Goal for 2017

Each year, I try to set a goal for the year and for my readers. In 2014, it was about being happy. In 2015, it was feeling beautiful. In 2016, it was knowing scripture.

I sincerely hope you expanded your memorized scripture with at least a few of the verses I shared on Saturdays last year. I definitely learned some new ones and gained a lot from thinking about how they apply to my marriage, and to my marriage bed.

As I considered what challenge to take on in 2017, I kept coming back to this one: prayer. I say that I kept coming back, because when the topic came up in my mind, I tried to leave it. Sure, I knew that I needed to work on prayer in my own life, but I faced several reservations:

  1. How was I supposed to create blog posts related to prayer? Should I discuss prayer itself? Post actual prayers for our marriages? Record videos in which I lead prayers for wives?
  2. What did I really know about prayer? I’d made great strides in becoming happier, in feeling more beautiful, and I knew how to memorize scripture … but prayer has always been a bit of a struggle for me. As much as I desire and encourage it, I’m less a “prayer warrior” than  “prayer foot soldier” — getting the job done, but not all that well. So who was I to address prayer?
  3. Who would read these posts? How engaging can I possibly make this topic so that people will come to blog and walk away with something useful for their marriage bed? Will people even see the connection between being on the knees in prayer and on their backs in the bedroom? Is this what my readers really need?
  4. Why won’t God leave me alone? Because, seriously, I just don’t wanna! I know, I know. I should be a paragon of faith and obedience, eager to do my Lord’s bidding at his first nudging. But I’m a bit stubborn (if you’re reading this, husband, stop laughing), and prayer simply wasn’t what I wanted for my 2017 goal.

As stubborn as I can be, God is far more persistent. While I kept bringing up new ideas in my mind of topics I could address, He kept popping the word prayer back into my mind. Having learned my lessons in the past, I surrendered. As well I should, don’t you think?

I’m inviting you to surrender with me, as we set a goal this year to pray more.

Woman with praying hands resting on Bible

But by pray more, I don’t mean merely more frequently. The word more involves several possibilities:

  • Pray more frequently
  • Pray more honestly
  • Pray more fervently
  • Pray more intentionally
  • Pray more with your husband
  • Pray more with your friends
  • Pray more with your family
  • Pray more on your knees
  • Pray more in day-to-day activities
  • Pray more in crises
  • Pray more in successes
  • Pray more for others
  • Pray more for yourself

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray continually.” Continually is defined as either regularly or constantly, but regardless, it’s probably more than we’re doing. Yes, some of you are prayer warriors — and I am genuinely thankful for you — but many others struggle.

I once told my minister that I say “Amen” to maybe half of the prayers I start. He answered, “That’s pretty good.” (See why I like my pastor?) Let’s just be honest: We often start to pray, and life interrupts or our minds wander. Our good intentions aren’t realized with the kind of prayer life we want to have.

I want a stronger prayer life. Not simply because that’s what God (clearly) wants me to focus on. Not because I know I should be doing it more. Not because I want stuff from God, and the only way to get it is to ask. I want a stronger prayer life because I want to be closer to God.

Don’t you?

Please stay tuned on Saturdays in 2017. I’m still working out what this will look like, but I will be focusing on prayer. Of course, I’ll be applying it all to nurturing our marriages and godly sex in our marriage beds. Because I strongly believe that marital intimacy which honors God is a prayer He longs to answer.

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