When couples are looking for a quality book about Christian sex in marriage, I have a short list I give, and one of the books on that list is Lovemaking: 10 Secrets to Extravagant Intimacy in Marriage by Dan and Linda Wilson. I was happy to give it a high review, because the Wilsons did a wonderful job explaining godly intimacy and giving real-life tips to improve sex in the marriage bed.
But I got a big bonus during that review process: I got to know Linda Wilson much better through our communications. And that contact has blessed me personally many times over. She is an amazing encourager with a heart for missions and marriage. And when she submitted her post linking confidence and beauty, I wanted to cheer. Hope you get as much from it as I did!
I hope you have all been enjoying J’s guest posts about beauty this fall as much as I have. Interestingly, I have noticed that many share the concept that beauty is enhanced by confidence. Yes, yes, yes! Let’s explore this idea a bit further.
Confidence makes you look beautiful and feel sexy. Ooh la la. Picture a woman you admire who walks in confidence. She stands taller, smiles easily, and speaks with assurance. I believe this woman is a Proverbs 31 type, one who “laughs at the future” (Proverbs 31:25). And, as we all know, we can only laugh at the future when we are confident, not ruled by fears or insecurity.
So what gives us this confidence?
Sometimes upon leaving the hair salon ,we can feel beautiful. When we have had the best haircut, some great highlights, the expert styling — all of these combined can make us feel attractive.
Nice mani and pedicures can add confidence. Go ahead and admit it. We all notice other people’s nail color, especially in a room full of women.
And clothing. If clothes make a man, they certainly add to or detract from our feelings of femininity and beauty.
Teeth whitening. Botox. Liposuction. Personal trainers. Diets out the wazoo. The possibilities of things we can do to feel beautiful are endless. The options available to us in today’s culture are mind-boggling, not to mention ridiculously costly in both time and money.
Hair, nails, clothes — all of these might enhance our feelings of beauty, but they are fleeting fixes. How can we not only feel beautiful, but actually be beautiful? Confident beauty comes by knowing who you are and Whose you are.Confident beauty comes by knowing who you are and Whose you are. - Linda Wilson Click To Tweet
Synonyms for confidence include poise, assurance, certainty. These traits come from God who gives them to us with delight. You are beautifully and wonderfully made! You have your Father’s eyes. You see, friends, we are daughters of the King of all kings. That makes us royalty. Regal. Lovely. Powerful. Beautiful.
You are a child of God (1 John 3:1). Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you who you really are. You can always believe what God says about you. You are not only a child of God, you are a dearly loved child. You are the object of His affections. Of all the people on earth, He is smitten by one glance of your eyes. You have ravished His heart (Song of Solomon 4:9).
A few years ago I had a dream in which I was seeing sin in my heart. Interestingly, the heart I saw was a physical one as seen in anatomy books. Next a hand came, picked up a paintbrush, and dipped the brush into red paint. With one swipe, the red paint completely covered my heart. His blood completely covered my heart! That is what Jesus sees when He looks at my heart and yours — He sees His blood, not our sin. Lastly I heard Him say to me, “My blood was not wasted.”
Shame or guilt from today or from the past should not haunt us. Our sin is hidden by His sacrifice. We are forgiven. That, girlfriends, should put a spring in our steps, smiles on our faces, and sparkles in our eyes. Nothing is more beautiful than joy! And deep joy comes from confidently knowing that we are forgiven, we are free. Yippee!
“But you (YOU!) are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). He chose you! That should make you all giddy with excitement. The King chose you. This is not a Cinderella fairytale. Truth is better than fiction! God chose you, and plans on loving you forever. Allow the feelings of love and gratitude to fill you up, spilling out of you onto others. This, friends, makes you truly beautiful.
Occasionally treat yourself to a spa day or purchase a pretty outfit. But remember that true beauty flows from the inside out. It is quite possible that beauty was one of the “things” Jesus had in mind when he said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). Confidently allow others to see Christ in you.
Lovely lady, you are one of a kind. You are spectacularly stunning. Don’t hide your light under a basket—let it shine (Matthew 5: 15,16). Laughing at the future, allow the world to know that you are the secure and poised, gorgeous daughter of the true King.
Linda Wilson is a marriage missionary. She and her darling friend Dan travel around the US and the nations teaching about marriage and sexuality. They also love ministering to widows and orphans.