What’s Up Is Up to You

So things in the bedroom aren’t going that great.  Your husband has paid more attention to the Angry Birds app on his phone than the sexy negligee you’ve donned the past two nights.  Or after working late four nights in a row, he tries to mount you at 3:30 in the morning for a “quickie.”  Or you have had such a long list of things to do lately that sex has started to feel like another item to be checked off.  Or you find yourselves as a couple repeating the same mechanical moves over and over so that you can turn each other on and then turn over to sleep.

It happens.

Now that $64,000 question is Whatcha gonna do about it?!  Without any specifics from your particular case, here’s some basic advice:  Act like it’s up to you.  If you want a more fulfilling sexual life, take the bull by the horns, so to speak.  Don’t wait for him to figure it out or for everything to work out on its own.

Photo credit: Microsoft Word Clipart

Photo credit: Microsoft
Word Clipart

So you want a more romantic environment?  Light candles, turn on music, and throw rose petals on the bed.

So you want more time to warm up before entry?  Do everything you can get yourself in the mood.  Take a bubble bath, put on sexy lingerie, and guide his hands where you want them.

So you want him to buy you dinner first?  Buy him dinner.  Get a babysitter, pick him up from work wearing your best dress, and take him to your favorite restaurant.

So you want to try something new?  Look up a new position, buy an accessory, or choose a new location.  There are books and websites that suggest tasteful ideas for Christian couples.

The Bible says, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).  Withholding sex from your husband is a guaranteed way to cause conflict or hurt.  Demanding your partner read your mind to figure out how to satisfy you is also not a peacemaking approach.  Living at peace with your spouse means finding a way to deal with sexual hurdles in your marriage “as far as it depends on you.”

The ball is in your court.  Take a swing because all the potential for making something happen is up to you at this moment!  With that attitude, you are sure to score!

If you don’t like the sports metaphor, try this one:  Add the spices you like to the dish yourself.  Whatever you cook up will be delightfully tasty for the both of you!

5 thoughts on “What’s Up Is Up to You

  1. Julie Sibert

    Fabulous post J! Sexual intimacy is a tremendous way for a wife to be pro-active and nurture her marriage. I know that some husbands are less than willing to respond, but most I believe would be thrilled if their wife take some initiative to get some sparks flying in the bedroom.

    Your post is getting me all hot and bothered! Ha!

  2. J

    Whoo-hoo! Hot and bothered is what I aim for in this blog!

    Glad you enjoyed the post. I’m sure your hubby enjoys the sparks flying your bedroom.

  3. Nicole Williams

    Great post! And exactly right. This is how I brought our intimate life around after 13 years of marriage. Now at 15 years its still going strong. Thank you for saying it like it is.

  4. J

    Thanks, Nicole! Good for you. What a terrific testimony! I’ll pray that it keeps going strong for another 15 and more.

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