Hot, Holy & Humorous

Wives, Put on Your Nightie or Nudie

With 1,028 stores and $4,018,000,000 in net sales, Victoria’s Secret makes it clear that a lot of women are purchasing lingerie!  For whom are they buying it?  Themselves or their honeys?

I am married to the odd man out — a guy who doesn’t particularly care much for black lace teddies or see-through nightgowns.  His basic opinion is that “Naked is always in fashion.”  So whatever I’ve been wearing — whether little black dress or yard work overalls — as long as I strip down to bare skin when I get to the bedroom, he’s there.

I’ve had plenty of friends, however, who shop with their husbands or have their husbands shop for them to find that sexy ensemble that will stimulate his sight and make her feel like a personal pin-up.  Some women suggest that the best way to choose lingerie is to throw it willy-nilly on the floor and see how it looks lying there, since that is where it will end up within a scant five minutes anyway.  (A friend of mine calls it “the carpet test.”)

So why are guys so titillated by the nightie or the nudie?  God made men visual!  They are also fairly single-minded.  Put a beautiful woman in front of your husband (and believe me, in a nightgown or naked, you are beautiful to him) and he can focus on that pretty sight.  (Well, unless you start your stripper routine between him and the television in the last three minutes of the Super Bowl.) 

Why did God make men so visual?  Was it so that we gals would spend an inordinate amount of time warding off the creepy guys who undress us with their eyes in that split-second, north-to-south scan they naturally do so well?  Was it so that we could repeat the line, “My eyes are up here, buddy,” over and over to our high school prom date?   Was it so that we couldn’t walk through the bedroom in our pretty panties and bra without being accosted by the frenzied fingers of our faithful husband?

I’ve read a lot on this subject, and the only thing I can say without a doubt is that God did indeed make men acutely aware of beautiful women in their midst.  Perhaps it is so that husbands will cherish the beauty of their wives and treasure them like fine rubies.

Unfortunately, Satan takes what God has created and tries to twist it into something else, which means that men can struggle with wandering eyes.  Letting him see more of you than he sees of anyone else can help your hubby keep his focus where it should be.

For those of you tired of feeling like a pork chop that has your tail-wagging husband panting and licking his lips like a bloodhound, talk to a wife whose is beauty is never appreciated by her husband; whose husband does not pursue her or compliment her attractiveness; who has begged God in prayer after prayer to have what you have — a husband who desires her.  She would love to have what you have.

Now I am NOT condoning the husband who ignores his wife every other time and only glimpses in her direction when she unveils her Vicky Secret purchase.  I presume that everyone reading this understands that is flat-out insulting.  (If you don’t, I will repeat: INSULTING!)

But wives could do something to keep their husbands’ eyes on their prize by polishing up the trophy now and then and showing it off.  Invest in yourself a little with a nice nightie.  Even if your husband doesn’t care, it might make you feel a little sexier.  (It does for me.)  You don’t have to visit the pricier lingerie stores; they are plenty of sexy choices at your local Target or Wal-Mart or in the clearance rack of your department store.

Everybody understands the principle of appreciating the gift inside a box more than the box itself.  But a nicely wrapped package catches the eye.  Ladies, get your nightie or your nudie on.  And men, check out that perfectly wrapped present that God gave you.  Then send a thank-you note to God for what’s on the outside and the inside.


24 thoughts on “Wives, Put on Your Nightie or Nudie”

  1. “Some women suggest that the best way to choose lingerie is to throw it willy-nilly on the floor and see how it looks lying there, since that is where it will end up within a scant five minutes anyway.”


  2. I personally love lingerie in the spring/summer time and pajamas in the fall/winter. I dont know im just weird like that… when I get married i’m sure I’ll become a nightly nudist(with my robe within

  3. As a soon-to-be married woman (less than 6 weeks!), this is a subject that I’ve thought about often. Going to VS to find “bridal lingerie” was surprisingly disappointing. God made sex in marriage to be exciting, creative, and life-giving. My gut reaction to the white teddies and bra/panties sets was: “This is so UN-creative.” I am so thankful that you wrote this post. Spot on!

  4. Hey J… very well written. It is fascinating to me how difficult it is for couples to find balance with this. It seems that too often wives over-emphasize their body image struggle, to the detriment of their marriage… they constantly are wanting to cover their body, make love only in the dark, minimize their husband’s genuine compliments, and so forth. And then you have husbands who become too focused on the outward beauty that they miss what a treasure and “complete package” their wife is beyond what her body brings to the equation.

    Anyway, you’re spot on by shedding light on this. How fortunate is it when a couple can see value in physical beauty without getting distracted by the world’s distorted views and expectations (which, by the way, are totally unrealistic. No normal everyday person looks like a Victoria Secret model).

    I wish more women would embrace their feminine attributes and allow their husbands and themselves to thoroughly enjoy the physicality of sex.

    As for me, I would always sleep in the nude if I had things my way (but we have this wandering little 6-year-old who makes his way into our bedroom occasionally. We keep the door closed and locked of course if we are having sex… but if we are just sleeping… we leave it open).

    Keep up the great work! You’re awesome!

  5. I love this post. I was waiting for you to get to this point: Even if your husband doesn’t care, it might make you feel a little sexier.

    My hubby makes no fuss over the lingerie either, but it makes me feel sexier when I wear something sexy. Lingerie is not just for the husband but for the wife too. I can put you in a state of mind to feel energized about sex.

    I totally agree with keeping the panty drawer interesting. I make use of those $10 off coupons I get from Victoria’s secret every so often. You don’t have to break the bank buying cure nighties…I’ve seen some great prices at Lingerie Dvia and Flirt and the best part is that these companies also offer lingerie for full figured women. Google them!

    Nice post! I thoroughly enjoyed it. Satan, keep your hands off of my marriage!

  6. Such TERRIFIC comments! The one question I have is, Where are those $10 off coupons from VS? I must not be on that mailing list!

    Oh yeah, @Kalita – I love the phrase “nightly nudist”!

  7. Thank You for the compliment.. just a little creativity I suppose, im glad followed up on the rest of the comments they are all quite intersting

  8. Except for when my wife was nursing our 3 children, we are both “nudie”. If feels SOOOOO GREAT to have skin on skin. Just cuddling/spooning as we drift off to sleep has brought us so much closer and makes the “worries” of the day, float away (and thats if we had or did not have the chance to ML.

    Now, that being said, I LOVE the lingerie too. Mostly because it tells me that my wife has been thinking about me and has SOMETHING special in mind……..

  9. Tom,

    I’ve been meaning to say how cool it is that you commented on this post! It really helps us gals to hear the male point of view about that “skin on skin” and to see that guys like cuddling & spooning too.

    Enjoy the nightie or nudie on your beautiful wife!

  10. Hi! I couldn’t find any other way to contact you, so I’m hoping this works!!
    I was wondering where you are located to see if you might be interested in speaking to our MOPS group? We are in Costa Mesa, Ca. I know it’s sort of a long shot, but you’re blog is soooooo good and since I’m coordinating speakers this year, I thought I’d shoot for the best speakers first. Thanks!

  11. Sarah,

    Thank you ever so much! I took some time to think about your message. I was conflicted with feeling so very honored and being slightly panicked.

    When I started this blog, I did so anonymously. My plan has been to write about Christian sex and not reveal my identity until (1) my parents are dead and my children are grown, or (2) God chooses to “out” me in some way for the sake of His kingdom. So when I received your message, I had to ask myself “If I get offers to speak, is God ‘outing’ me?”

    However, I am not near Costa Mesa (though I would LOVE to visit such a beautiful place). And to do justice to this topic, I need to pray about it, consult with family, and decide whether speaking should be part of this ministry. I have spoken to groups before, but not on the topic of sex.

    In the meantime, if you are on Twitter, you may send a direct message to me (@hotholyhumorous)to stay in contact. I might consider speaking to your group in the future.

    Bless you for the compliment! When I began blogging, I didn’t know if anyone else would gain from what I had to say. I was merely responding to God’s persistent prodding to do something about my knowledge in this area. It is wonderful to feel that I am having a positive impact for God’s glory and good marriages.

    I will say a prayer that you find just the right speakers for your group.

  12. Ha! I love this. My hubs is a “nudie” so my “nightie” is a fresh sheet on the bed waiting to be gotten under. =)

  13. “So why are guys so titillated by the nightie or the nudie? God made men visual!”

    We are, but please don’t forget that we are capable of loving and admiring inner beauty as well! God did an amazing, enviable job of artistically designing you, and I’m not referring to the mass media’s unrealistic definitions (read: “sexy”), but /core anatomical design/ beauty.

  14. I’m a nightly nudie but my wife is prefers wearing clothes to bed. I bought her a few sexy yet comfortable Teddy’s to wear but she usually wears something more substantial. I’ve told her multiple times before that I wished she would be a nudie and she has tried it but always goes back to clothes. She says she doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping without clothes and therefore she doesn’t sleep as well. The main reason is that she doesn’t feel confident about her body, she thinks she’s fat, even though I disagree and make sure to tell her I don’t think she’s fat. I’d like her to get to the point where she can feel comfortable sleeping nude next to me but I don’t want to keep bringing it up and creating conflict in our marriage. Do you have any advice? Is this just something I need to compromise on?

    1. Let go of the nude sleeping fantasy for now. While I prefer that as well, it’s a personal comfort thing for a lot of people. Some people simply aren’t comfortable sleeping in the buff.

      As for her wearing something “more substantial,” I can understand how that would not be appealing. Here’s an out-of-the-box idea: How would she respond if you chose a day, took her out to breakfast, and then announced that you wanted to spend the day shopping for lingerie? You could set a budget, and the rules are (1) it must be something that feels comfortable to her, and (2) it must be something visually appealing to you. Perhaps if you both have some input, she can avoid the skimpy stuff that makes her feel too self-conscious, but you can help her find sleeping attire that stretches her boundaries a little and shows off her beauty.

      Baby steps. No woman is likely to go from wearing flannel pajamas to doing a strip tease for her hubby in one night. But little by little as a wife feels more and more secure, she may reveal more.

      Also, how wonderful that you continue to tell her how beautiful she is to you. One minor tip: Rather than saying something like, “I don’t think you’re fat,” just keep telling her what specific things you love about her body. That will get the word “fat” out of the conversation altogether and remind her how God creates beauty, even in her.

    2. I used to require clothing on to sleep well, and I don’t think it had anything to do with self-image. I couldn’t sleep well and had weird dreams, what I called “naked dreams” anytime I tried it. And no, they didn’t involve being naked in the dream.

      Now I cannot stand to sleep with anything on! Unless it’s cold, or I’m without hubby for the night. My husband, however, has those “naked dreams”, too, so sometimes I have fun teasing him about putting his underwear back on before falling asleep.

      I agree that lingerie isn’t always about our husbands, but about making ourselves feel good, and anticipating time with our man. My husband never seems impressed with anything fancy, but he did tell me once he’d prefer bikini undies as opposed to the granny panties or hipsters I was currently wearing. I bought some, but they still aren’t quite what he wanted, so once I lose some weight and NEED new undies, I’m going to make him go shopping with me 😉

  15. I love your blog!!! I do not have a VS body so I never felt right in lingerie (especially after having babies- 4 BIG BABIES) But something has changed in the last year. i am not confident in my body but my husband is 🙂 reading 31 days to great sex is recommended! I like to dress warmly in winter(i am cold natured!) but now that spring/summer is here we are going shopping for new lingerie 🙂 and keeping our bedroom door locked more!!!!

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