Praying for Sexual Health

One of the obstacles many couples face with sexual intimacy is their health. That can include anything from chronic illness to physiological problems to mood disorders. While sex is good for your health, sound health is also good for your sex life.

Most Christians have a lot of experience praying about health issues. We pray for those in our midst who are facing life-threatening disease, for those dealing with the consequences of an accident, for those having medical tests and wanting optimistic results.

But have you prayed about the health issues that impact your own marriage bed?

Blog post title with close-up of woman with praying hands

I suspect if I polled spouses, a strong majority would say that poor health has at one time or other negatively affected the sexual intimacy in their marriage. But do we recognize those issues readily? Do we bring those before God?

One of the two Greek words most used in the New Testament to mean healing is iaomai, which brings with it the connotation not merely of good health but wholeness. Yes, it refers to physical healing (like when Jesus healed the Centurion’s servant and an official’s son), but it’s also translated as being made whole.

I believe God wants us to operate from a place of wholeness in our marriage beds.

Of course, I don’t mean that every spouse will experience perfect health. Some of us will nevertheless face challenges, because this is a broken world, but we can pray for God to help us deal with our health issues.

Sometimes it means asking for God to put people in our lives—friends, mentors, doctors, therapists—who can give us answers and treatment. Sometimes it means asking Him to guide us to the answers we need to fix what’s amiss (see The Unveiled Wife’s story). Sometimes it means asking for strength and support to cope with physical issues that won’t go away, but can be managed. Sometimes it means asking God for a divine kick in the pants to get ourselves on that diet or exercise program we’ve been meaning to adopt. …

(Sorry, I had to stop to stare at myself in the mirror on that last one.)

Sometimes it means meditating before Him about what wholeness would look like and asking Him to point out where our health issues are. We might have overlooked how stress or depression or physical pain have hampered our sex life, until we look to our Heavenly Parent and ask Him to tell us what’s happening with our marriage bed. Like a doting mother, He may check our temperature and diagnose what’s wrong. If we’ll ask, and then listen.

I don’t know what this looks like for you, but I know that health challenges are a common issue with us marrieds. And I’m wondering if we’re really praying to be made whole. Not just for the sake of feeling better, but so that we can experience better physical intimacy in our marriage.

How have you prayed for health in your marriage? Have you prayed about health issues that affect your marriage bed?

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well” (3 John 1:2).

14 thoughts on “Praying for Sexual Health

  1. R

    6 months post-natal and sex is still not working as it should. Thankful for my lovely GP who has been trying to help me and has now referred me to a gynaecologist. I thought things would be better after 6 months, but apparently not. Definitely praying for the health of our marriage during this time too!

    Reply
  2. K J

    It could be little things too, like broken bones. I broke my ankle bad enough to require surgery and crutches/boot for almost 12 weeks. At the beginning especially, everything hurt and I had no energy for anything but sleeping. And this happened 3 months after we were married. To say I was worried about how it would affect us would be an understatement! We figured how to make it work where it would hurt the least, and I learned that I could put up with a little pain for the sake of our marriage. We kept our frequency around 2-3 times a week because I knew it was important, especially since my husband was taking care of everything home-related during that time. It’s healed and back to normal now, and I’m very thankful I knew from the beginning that the pain would be temporary.

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  3. Anonymous

    Serious mental, emotional and physical health issues with my husband have prevented us from developing any sex life whatsoever in our 5 plus years of marriage. I am praying, but please pray with me. It’s complicated.

    Reply
  4. Frustrated

    I suffer from many many ailments related to a genetic condition and also Fibromyalgia, that have had a huge impact on our sex life. Pain, exhaustion, and repeated thrush infections to name a few.
    Part of my genetic condition that has really flared up the past few weeks (since we had a major upswing in marital activity) has been that my skin is very thin and is easily damaged. While I haven’t developed any major abrasions, I did have one last week that swelled and got infected. Lubrication isn’t the issue, just too much activity.
    Last night our teenager was out for the night, so we decided to watch movies together cuddled up in the buff. It was nice, but anywhere my husband touched me, apart from most of my back, just hurt and felt chaffed. I feel cheated out of what would have otherwise been a great night. Instead we both went to bed feeling robbed of the opportunity to do whatever we wanted without getting caught.
    Before last week, we had 6 weeks of bliss. Not much pain, and a lot of fun. But now I feel like we are back to square one, and it really does scare me. I don’t want to go back to a sexless marriage, and neither does he.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous for his privace

    My arthritis flare today made our usual Sunday morning intimacy less than usual, but we still did what we could. My husband has an ostomy, and he doesn’t let that hinder him at all; I don’t think he ever worried about it (but he’s such a confident guy). I used to get on the ostomy support sites to reassure people who worried about intimacy with an ostomy.

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  6. Alicia

    Thanks for this, J. I hadn’t thought of praying this way, and I love the idea. We and many others who know us are praying for my husband as he battles cancer. With the focus on that, I hadn’t thought of praying for my own wholeness, as some of my health issues have impacted our marriage bed. They’re nothing as severe as cancer, but as you say, even minor health issues can have a huge impact. So, maybe I need to be praying for wholeness for both of us. Thanks for giving me some great prayer fodder.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      My heart goes out to you and your husband as you both battle against cancer. What a tough road! And may you have healing and wholeness in other areas as well.

      Reply
  7. Anonymous

    My wife has many physical ailments including fibromyalgia. I have never prayed for her healing so we would have a better sex life. I would feel very selfish if I said this type of prayer. My wife would agree with me.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      I would be thinking about praying for her getting to enjoy sexual pleasure as well; it’s for her as much as for you. But I’m saying a prayer for her specific health challenges, just because.

      Reply
  8. Elizabeth

    Last July I had a gastric sleeve and have lost around 80 lbs which my desire for sex returned. I thought my husband of 40 yrs was so supportive till I discovered he had been seeing a whore half his age she’s 32 he’s 62 for past 8 years. Besides spendings thousands of dollars each year he also took so much viagra it doesn’t work on him anymore so I am frustrated that now I can not be satisfied as I want pray for me.

    Reply
    1. J Post author

      How heartbreaking about your husband! However, you did the right thing for yourself and your own health. If he won’t stop seeing this younger woman, then you need to pursue your own physical and emotional health. God values you and wants the best for you! I’m saying a prayer for you. Blessings!

      Reply
      1. Elizabeth

        I also had a total knee replacement in May on my left leg and will do right knee next year. I am retired from elementary education 33 years so yes I am finally taking care of my health. He did stop seeing her but the hurt will be there for a long time I know to give it to God. I forgave him because I do love him. But my sons have not and we have 5 grandchildren that we don’t see much at all.

        Reply

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