Today, I’m doing something different. I’ve been reading through old journals, came across one with a poem I wrote in 1998, and decided to share it with y’all!

Before You Read It…

A bit of background. I grew up with a domineering father and a conflict-avoidant mother who catered to him. I concluded early on that I didn’t want that kind of relationship! I wanted to be a strong woman who didn’t need a man. In fact, I didn’t even want a man. I simply wouldn’t get married.

While in college, I decided: Okay, maybe I’ll get married, but I’ll be very clear-headed about it all. No big romance. Companionship and passion, fine. But I didn’t much need the rest.

By the time I finished college, however, I was not married and totally over dating. No more men. No, thank you.

Enter my future husband. I really didn’t see it coming. I’d moved to a new city where I knew no one with the plan of doing my own thing without worrying about anyone else. And at the first church singles event I attended, I met a guy who looked familiar … and turned out to be my next-door neighbor. Eight months later, I married the boy next door. (More about our story here.)

Six years later, I wrote a poem in my journal that showed my shift from a desire to be entirely independent to a longing for interdependence. And a bit of romance now and again.

Why am I sharing it with y’all? For one thing, some of you may relate. But also, it could be worth sharing with your spouse to discuss what you really want in your marriage. Are there things you once said you didn’t care about, but now you do? What would be “nice” for you in your relationship today?

And Now, the Poem

I said, “I don’t need flowers or love songs sung to me.

You’d be wasting your time to write me lines of mushy poetry.

There’s no need to buy me silky lingerie for Valentine’s or our anniversary.”

But that was so long ago

Now I know

How nice a little of that could be.

I said, “I am quite self-confident and don’t need you to reassure me.

I’m an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to give her security.

And thank you, I can open my own doors. Enough with outdated chivalry!”

But that was so long ago

Now I know

How nice a little of that could be.

I said, “I don’t need you to hold my hand in public constantly.

And I don’t need that kind of movie kiss that lasts for eternity.

It just throws off my day if you call just to say that you love me; I know already.”

But that was so long ago

I think you should know

How nice a little of that could be

You needn’t overwhelm me; we can start out slow and just see.

A shared bubble bath, more kisses that last, daisies brought home with the groceries.

A slow dance in our living room after the kids fall asleep.

Now that I know

I want to show you

How nice it all could be.

Feel free to download the PDF for yourself and/or to share with others.