Valentine’s Day is on our heels yet again, only two weeks away. Google “what to get a man for Valentine’s Day,” and you’ll see variations on a theme. The general consensus is that what hubbies really want is sex.
Yes, I know: You’re shocked. You were certain that it would be flowers or that new pair of shoes he saw in the window last time you both went shopping.
It’s true for many men, though. While wives think of the romance of Valentine’s Day involving flowers, chocolate, poetry, etc., husbands often see romance as synonymous with the intimate entangling of your two bodies. In their heads, what could be more romantic than a tango under the sheets?
If that isn’t your husband — if he is less inclined toward sexual activity than you — this statement may not ring true. Statistics are not clear in this area, but perhaps 20-25% of marriages have a wife with a stronger libido than her husband.
But all of us wives may want some ideas on what to get the hubster. After consulting with a friend on this very topic, I decided to share my brainstorming ideas with you as well.
Plan the date you want. If your husband is reluctant to take the reins, offer to do it yourself. Maybe that’s the very thing he wants — for you to create the romantic atmosphere that makes you feel warm, fuzzy, and in the mood.
Find online or create gift certificates for romance/sex acts that you both enjoy. Tailor them to your situation. Of course, some people truly enjoy these certificates, while others would rather not wait to “redeem” the coupon. Think about what your husband would prefer and go with it.
Put together a special basket of bubble bath, wine/beer, scented massage oil, etc. and give him a bath for two and full body massage followed by whatever. Let him unwrap the package of goodies, then put them to good use right away.
Unveil special lingerie that he would like to see you in (and out of). You can plan a shopping trip to include him in the purchase or spring it on him as a surprise. My advice for those who are uncomfortable wearing the super-lacy or racy stuff: Don’t expect to go from sleep shirt to corset-and-thong. Just stretch a little bit beyond your comfort zone. You might also want to ask a sales clerk what type of lingerie accentuates your assets.
Create a small photo album or online presentation to showcase your favorite memories with him and view it together. You can do a pretty quick video at Animoto. Gina Parris of Winning at Romance posted an example some time ago.
Vajazzle. There are even Valentine’s themed vajazzling kits available. But a few strategically placed crystals with a heart or “Luv U” could send just the message you want.
Watch a romance flick that he would like. I posted some time ago a list of lovey-dovey flicks that even your man will enjoy: Movies to Inspire.
Buy him a tie, scarf, or other clothing accessory he wants, and then show up wearing only that for the gift presentation. Afterward, not only will he have a nice necktie, but every time he puts it on, it could bring that moment of you wearing it to mind . . . and make him smile.
Take the usual chocolates or flowers and make it your own project . . . like spelling a message with the chocolates or using the flowers to make a trail to the bedroom. You could even take a candy bar, remove the wrapper, and replace it with your own design. (Found cute bride & groom ones here.)
Cook him a meal or dessert he likes. If it’s just the two of you, you could even wear an apron and sexy undies while preparing the food — whetting both of his appetites. (Although in my marriage, we’re better off eating out.)
Record yourself reading a love poem or the Song of Songs or singing a sexy song. Make it an MP3 or CD. Then your hubby can listen to your sensuous voice any time he wants.
Buy him a tool or new gadget. This one isn’t sexy, but let’s face it: A lot of guys like this gift. Honestly, even Spock (my husband) gets excited about a brand-new power drill.
That’s my list! It’s certainly not comprehensive, and some of these may not be your style. Hopefully, you know your own mate enough to have an inkling of what he would enjoy. If not, it doesn’t hurt to ask. See what expectations he has for this special day celebrating love.
Now share with the rest of us! What Valentine’s Day gift ideas do you have for the hubbies?
And guys…most wives would adore getting a love letter.
We’ve had some absolutely disastrous Valentine’s Days because of my unmet expectations. I realized though recently, that I have always expected my husband to come through for Valentine’s Day, but I have never really done my part.
This year, I have plans. I bought some big puffy stickers from Michael’s that I plan to use to decorate his bathroom mirror, coffee mug, steering wheel, etc. I’ll do this in the morning so that he has all day to enjoy my Valentine’s greetings. I’ll plant some love notes too. Then I found some little sparkly heart stickers at Target that I plan to decorate myself with for the evening’s festivities. My plan is two-fold. First of all, so that he can feel loved and valued by me all day, but secondly, he can’t possibly neglect doing something for me if he has my Valentine’s greetings staring him in the face all day 🙂 I know that sounds like I have a hidden agenda, and I guess in a way I do…. I like to think of it as teaching by example.
Ooh, another idea just came to me. Maybe I’ll buy a box of chocolates and wrap each candy with a Song of Solomon verse… or eat the candies myself and just fill the empty candy papers with the verses… LOL Just kidding.
I am planning to do an envelope for each month for the rest of 2013 with dates. Not expensive things but things we just never get around to like picnics or going for an ice cream or going for a walk in the fall to pick up leaves.
My husband and I decided early on that we love to celebrate V-Day, but it is so expensive that we choose to celebrate a late V-Day, that way we can still have the fun of buy special things(on clearance) but he doesn’t feel like it will break the bank. We are on a pretty tight budget, three kids under four and him in school full time. Last year I invested in a pretty red heart center piece with candles, it was half off and cost me $10, this year I only had to replace the candles and did that for about $4. We use it year round in our room for mood setting and about this time of year I bring it out as a dining table center piece.
He isn’t into lingerie so much, but I know he loves when I cook him food, this year I am going to splurge on some shrimp and find some special way to cook it up. Just some ideas on how we make V-Day special.
I was just sharing this idea with my peacock girls. For my hubby’s 40th birthday 2 years ago I gave him 40 straight days of….well, you know. I’m doing something similar for Valentine’s Day – 14 days leading up to th 14th. Although, I love the idea of spelling a message out in chocolate. I’m adding that to the “grand finale”.
I found a great DIY idea on East Coast Creative’s blog
http://www.eastcoastcreativeblog.com/2012/01/perfect-valentines-gift-game-of-love.html
It’s pretty easy and I can’t wait to show my husband!
I also saw that they have an updated version this year.
http://www.eastcoastcreativeblog.com/2013/01/best-valentines-day-gift-ever-take-two.html
How cool is this!!!
My dear husband is not the most romantic. He doesn’t buy me flowers and last year didn’t get me anything, although he did make me dinner. I had a hard time being grateful for something like that because it does not meet my expectations of what he should do on V-Day, like buying me flowers, a box of chocolates or pretty lingerie and a nice card.
This year I’ve already told him I would like to go out to our favorite restaurant for V-Day and I plan on buying some new lingerie and tell him his present will have to be unwrapped for dessert.
I like the idea Workinprogress had about leaving little love notes all around so he cannot help but remember what day it is and perhaps, lead him to do a little something. 😉
But I’m going to try hard to keep a good attitude and make the day about giving to him, which in turn will be pleasurable for me too, with or without chocolate…I usually buy myself a box of chocolates the day after V-Day anyway when they are half off. 🙂
My dear husband is not the most romantic, although he does buy really nice cards, but other than that he does not buy me flowers or candy, and I guess my expectations for V-Day are those things.
So this year I’ve decided to take things into my own hands and have already told him I would like to go out to our favorite restaurant and then I’m going to buy some pretty lingerie and tell him he will have to unwrap his present.
I like Workinprogress idea about leaving little stickers around for him to find. My husband drives a logging truck so I think I will use that idea too, then it will help remind of the day and perhaps prompt him to do a little something. And if not, well the boxes of chocolate will be half off the next day and I can indulge myself.
But no matter what, I’m going to try hard to keep a good attitude and just make the day about giving to him…after all, when he unwraps his present I’m sure I will get a little something out of it too. 😉
As a husband, I gotta say, for me, if it’s not linked directly to sex, it’s probably not what I want for valentines day. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not about the sex itself, it’s what sex signifies to us males.
Sex is so wrapped up in our psyche that when our wife is giving enthusiastically in bed, we feel validated, we feel loved and cherished. We feel like we’ve been a good provider, that we matter, and we feel respected. Those are the feelings we are craving more than the physical pleasure (though that’s pretty good as well). And there is no easier way to give all that than in the act that God designed to keep us united as one.
Just my take.
Valentine’s Day is covered already in our house…..we don’t celebrate it!! You can’t be let down when you have no expectations. I tried once when we were dating. It was disasterous so I gave up.
I tried giving up Valentine’s day once too; I thought it would be the best way to show love to my husband (who doesn’t like the pressure). Of course, the year I did that, he decided that the best way to love me would be to take me out on Valentine’s day! So not celebrating it didn’t really work. But it’s a funny “gift of the magi” type of situation.
I bought a journal for my Fiancee (we’re getting married at the end of the month!) that was one sale. He loves to write, and I love to buy presents. Since we’re on a tight budget right now, I decided to fill it for the next few days with things that I think when I think about him. I just write down thoughts and verses and ideas that come to mind. We both love Poetry to, so I’m writing quotes from poems in there and lyrics from some of our favorite songs. This way, he can keep it forever and look back at it in years to come. And we can just keep adding and adding to it. 🙂
As for him, he told me, “The best Valentine Plans are the ones that you don’t know about.” So I’m pretty curious to see what he does. :)))
I got a card from my wife this morning telling me that there are surprises coming each day leading up to Valentine’s Day. I came home today to her baking my favorite desert. Great start!
This year my husband has been leaving me little v-day cards like you use in school around the house with a note about one thing he loves about me. We are on a really tight budget with two kids under the age of 2 but I have gotten a card and a small stuffed bear and will be adding some chocolate syrup and whipped cream as his love language is intimacy and all for a total of less than $10. Something as simple as this will mean more to him than some big production knowing that I am pursuing him for intimacy especially with a 18 month and 3 month old in the house.
I love valentines day but mostly because we brought our new born daughter home that day 12years ago. So she’s our sweetheart baby. 🙂 as for my husband, we don’t really celebrate to much but instead try to make the days he is home sweet by really spending quality time together in and out of the bedroom. I’m a hopeless romantics so I don’t mind taking the lead and blessing him wi creative stuff like notes, lingerie etc.
I am doing boudoir photos for my hubby this year. I know he’ll be pleased!
My wife of 40 years sent me a link to a jewelry site with the exact thing she wanted. I love her for this. I’ve missed for 40 years on this date, trying to imagine what she might like. She just told me, and I got it. No pressure. After 40 really great Valentine’s, this year, I don’t have to wonder if I got her what she wanted. God bless my wife.
I wanted to get my Hubby an edible arrangement to his job, but we are on a budget, so I will make stuffed strawberries and deliver them myself…he’ll be in class by the time I make it, so I can’t wait. I also hand make cards, so I will make him a card. Not sure what else yet.
I booked a night away at our favourite hotel and arranged childcare. We are going to have so much fun!
Start the day in the shower together and tell him you can’t wait for him to get home. It will be his best V-Day ever and the day has just started.
Hubby and I bought ourselves a new toy for Valentine’s Day. It hasn’t arrived yet but we are so excited with the anticipation of using it. We both saw it and thought it would be great. Can’t wait!!!
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