We’re one week away from Halloween. While Christians have an array of opinions about this holiday, you can’t avoid seeing the costumes that crop up in stores, in media sources, and on your neighborhood street.
And has anyone else noticed a trend to make every costume include a Sexy version? Like Sexy Nurse, Sexy Cop, Sexy Witch, Sexy Pirate. Think it stops there? Oh no. I’ve even seen costumes for Sexy Ladybug, Sexy Court Jester, and Sexy Spongebob. (Really? Sexy Spongebob?)
While I’d discourage wives from donning Sexy [fill-in-the-blank] costumes out in public for your Halloween event or harvest festival, there is something to be said for playing dress-up in the bedroom. Why would a spouse dress up for a sexual encounter?
Role Play. Plenty of married couples engage in role play as one aspect of their lovemaking. Spouses act out scenarios ranging from average activities “gone wild” (nurse giving sponge bath, realtor showing a house) to events already charged with sexual energy (dancer performing strip tease, naked photo shoot) to scenarios from the world of fantasy (fairy tale/prince & princess, superhero rescuing citizen). The role play could include costume pieces or the whole nine yards of tights, cape, and boots — that example being for the superhero idea, not the realtor. Casting yourself in a different role from time to time can add a playful dimension to your lovemaking. It’s also a way to live out a little fantasy with your spouse.
Aesthetics. Aesthetics is just a big word to say that something is appealing to the eye. Whether you actually play out any role, your husband might love to view your body dolled up as a sexy sailor or cowgirl. There’s a bit of intrigue to costuming, and different outfits can draw attention to different parts of your body. Put more basically, your figure might totally rock a sexy gladiator costume (or whatever else you can find) and catch the tongue-tied attention of your hubby.
Feeling Adventurous. Another reason to introduce a costume into your bedroom is that it might bring out the bolder side of you. When you dress up, you feel a little more adventurous, a little more daring . . . and that can carry over into how you approach sex with your spouse. Showing your playful or seductive side with a costume can excite your own interest in sexual activity and/or give you a boost of sexual confidence when you see the happy expression on his face.
A few things to remember about role play in the bedroom:
Be you. If you dress in costume or play a role, you should still be you with your spouse during sex. Sexual intimacy is about two unique people connecting physically and relationally. If you fantasize that you’re making love to the swashbuckler on your steamy romance novel cover, and not your husband, you’ve brought a third party (even in imagination) into your bedroom. Instead, spouses should keep their own identity. Be you-in-costume and interact as yourself.
Make it a treat. If you need to constantly wear a costume or role play in the bedroom for one or both of you to become aroused, that could signal a problem. Sexual intimacy in marriage can include a variety of experiences, but you should be able to sexually engage as a couple without a prop department. How often you don a costume is up to you as a couple, but it can certainly be a treat that you engage in when looking for extra spice in the bedroom.
You’re enough. If your husband wants you to dress up, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t satisfied with you as you are. In a recent news story, Hugh Jackman — People‘s magazine 2008 “Sexiest Man Alive” — said that he has worn his Wolverine costume to the bedroom. While I think the claws could get a little dangerous in that scenario, I found it interesting that his wife of 17 years got a kick out of that. It’s obviously not that her husband isn’t attractive enough on his own! Putting on a costume doesn’t mean that your husband wants someone else. He chose you. Assuming it’s not a regular or persistent request (as mentioned above), consider it a playful and provocative experience to dress up for him.
What do you think about wearing a costume in the bedroom? Any other insights you wish to add?