Once upon a time, I broke my right pinkie toe. When asked by a good friend how it happened, I blushed and told her about how my husband and I were making love. I was turned with my feet by the headboard, and things got heavy and heated. It was so amazing and out-of-control and earthshaking that I flung my foot out, caught the headboard with my toe, and broke the bone.
After I finished my explanation, she gasped and asked, “Really?”
To which I answered, “No. I was walking into our bathroom early one morning, couldn’t see where I was going, and slammed my foot on the door jamb. But doesn’t the first story sound more exciting?”
While I didn’t break my toe mid-sexual encounter, the sexual intimacy in my marriage has included some minor accidents and injuries. Stuff like hair getting accidentally pulled or legs cramping or my latest, which I shared on Facebook this morning:
In response, a few others shared their stories. And I bet y’all have more tales.
While I’ve never read a novel or seen a movie with a romantic scene in which someone has an accident or injury during sex, I know it happens. If you’re making love as often as you should in your marriage, and you’ve been married for a while, you’ll likely have a story or two about the time you unintentionally kneed him in the nuts or he elbowed you in a bad place. You might have fallen off the bed, or even broken the bed. Or — like some friends of mine — you accidentally started a fire in your bedroom.
Not everything goes like clockwork every time. And that’s okay. The physical intimacy in your marriage is comprised of all those experiences bundled together, so a few oopses over the years don’t detract at all from the beauty of your one-flesh experience.
In fact, it might add to it. You get these shared memories of “that time when.” Remember when we dove naked onto your parents bed, broke the frame, and had to explain how we destroyed their furniture? Remember when we decided to make love on the kitchen table and ended up smacking our heads on the ceiling fan overhead? Remember when we set the mood by lighting all those candles and also set the pillow on fire?
And if you really do get injured making love, don’t be so embarrassed that you don’t tell the doctor what happened. You might be surprised how often such incidents occur. In fact, there’s a whole documentary series called Sex Sent Me to the ER. I haven’t watched the show (don’t really want to and don’t have cable anyway), but I’ve heard stories about the episodes.
The point is that it happens. Sex is something of a sport, and sports involve some risk. But they also involve scoring, winning, and celebrating. So it’s worth getting in the game.
Of course, remember your limits. For instance, the reason I pulled a muscle isn’t because I was going full-on Cirque de Soleil in my bedroom. Rather, my back is older than it used to be. Between age and turning it the wrong way, I’ve ended up with a slight injury. It will heal.
And avoid those sex acts, typically kinky, that are actually dangerous. Just because someone thought of a sexual act you haven’t done, doesn’t mean you have to do it. In fact, some are a really bad idea. Use your common sense.
But if it happens, it happens. Just like my sports analogy, sit on the sidelines for a bit if you need to and nurse your injury to healing. Then get back on the field (of loooove). After all, to your beloved spouse, you’re the MVP.*
Have you ever had an accident or injury during sex? You’re welcome to share your (not-too-graphic) story below.
*Most Valuable Player
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We were at a marriage retreat, of all places. There was some open time on Saturday afternoon for tennis, mini golf, or whatever. We thought ‘whatever’ sounded just fine, and went back to our room …..we were actively engaged in our favourite pastime when WHACK! The slats fell out from under the box spring and the mattress set dropped a foot, with us still on it! Well, we finished what we started and headed to the other bed after catching our breath. Now we can say we have had bed breaking sex at a Christian marriage retreat❤
Never any injury that required treatment, but I’ve definitely pulled muscles more than once, and had them be sore for days. I haven’t quite gotten used to the fact that as I get older, my body isn’t quite as flexible as it used to be or I would like it to be. A couple of those muscle/back pulls have sent me to the chiropractor or massage therapist, and because I know them well I did tell them how it happened. Probably worst sex injury I heard about was one of my best friends who was having spontaneous sex with her husband on the kitchen floor. In the throes she raised her head and dropped it back down with no regard for the hard floor underneath her, and gave herself a mild concussion that actually did send her to the ER. I told her she should be on that documentary you mentioned.
A concussion? Oh my! And I hear ya on the older body thing…
I am in physical therapy for my tailbone right now. I think it was a combination of things that did me in (childbirth and all that), but it is a little suspicious that when my husband pressed up against me from behind that spot is exactly where it hurts the most. Hmmmmm… Here’s hoping physical therapy works eventually, cuz we’ve lost a lot of fun positions as a result!
We were on our honeymoon, which was a cruise to Mexico. One morning we had returned to our room for some fun after breakfast, but had forgotten to put the ‘do not disturb’ sign on our door. Well, we were right in the middle of things when our stateroom host started to come in to clean our room! It was like something out of a movie…my husband, leaping to block the door, and me, falling off the bed, completely tangled in the sheet, legs flailing in the air. The fall left me sore for a day or two, but to this day we still crack up about the whole thing. And our poor stateroom host couldn’t make eye contact with us for the rest of the week…
Thanks for sharing! I always enjoy reading your posts. I dont think my wife and I have ever been injured during sex. ( except for like a leg cramping or something like that) but I remember that when we first got married we were still getting new furniture and so at that point we did not have a headboard on our bed. Well one day during sex we were so into it that I accidentally kicked a hole right thru the wall! We still laugh about it today at the sight of my footprint thru our bedroom wall. Also it was hilarious trying to explain to my parents why there was a hole in the wall! Love making memories with each others.
My injuries stem from my husband not realizing the extent of his strength combined with his tendency to be, shall we say, less than coordinated. These incidents usually send me into a sobbing episode as I’m already naked and vulnerable and then there is sudden physical pain. It’s as though all my emotions are just at the surface and the physical pain opens the door and they all come screaming out. It helps to know he doesn’t intend to hurt me, but I often find myself anticipating it.
Okay, that’s not what I’m talking about. You really need to talk to him and see how you can avoid those anticipated injuries. Praying you work it out.
After my last pregnancy, my hips kept locking up and hurting. I would recruit hubby to “gently rock them back into place.” Saved a ton of $$! But one time it did the opposite and I had to go to the chiropractor. When I told her how it happened, she just said, “well, that’ll do it.”
I once had to explain to my boss that the reason I couldn’t make it to her annual cookout was because of a sex-related injury. I pulled a muscle in my back while trying to reach for the headboard, and the pain was so bad that I had to take a muscle relaxant and couldn’t drive.
Let’s just say (good) convultions landing your head on a soft pillow over and over can still cause a broken blood vessel in your eye. Not something you can really hide if you’re in the Sunday morning choir.
Ouch!
Early in our marriage I was constantly getting injured! Just before we got married, my hubby had to shave off his beard because of work. He wasn’t thrilled and was looking forward to not having to shave everyday on our honeymoon, vowing he would not even bring a razor! Now, we only kissed the night we got engaged and decided to save the rest until we were married, so neither of us had a clue about the ruggedly handsome yet fiercely sharp and scratchy stuff known to most as “scruff.” I don’t think we were an hour into our wedding night and my face was already bright red and chapped! Needless to say our first stop after our flight landed the next day was to buy a razor…..
Perhaps, though, the most notable of our intimate injuries happened during a good, old fashioned make out sesh. My tongue may or may not have been firmly secured over in my hubby’s mouth, and the suction was perhaps so great that all of a sudden I felt (and heard) a pop, and I let out a yelp of pain. All I could think was, “He broke my tongue!!!” Sure enough, I looked in the mirror to see that the little tendon that connects the underside of your tongue to the bottom of your mouth (called the lingual frenulum) had been stretched and looked… not quite right. I couldn’t stick out my tongue for 2 weeks it hurt so much! Everything healed just fine, but suffice to say hubby is much more careful now when things start getting Frenchy 😉
My sister tore under her tongue while given oral to her husband ? But you didn’t hear that from me!
What? I didn’t hear a thing! 😉
My poor hubby… The first time we tried using a condom, I went to take it off of him from the tip of it, but of course it wasn’t sliding off as I had expected it would… I am not sure if it slipped out of my hand or if I just wasn’t thinking and let go of it… Either way, snapped him right in the most sensitive of areas!
I got a hair in my throat and had to run to the bathroom to vomit – bothered me a little bit that he didn’t seem concerned and was eager to pick up where we left off, but in hindsight, it’s funny. Men!
Oh goodness! You must have a strong gag reflex. Bless your heart!
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When we were younger, after the kids were asleep we’d sometimes get frisky in the yard on a warm night. We lived in a rural area, so there was no danger of being caught, so one moonlit night we made love under the lilac bushes, without spreading out a blanket.
Two days later my wife showed me a serious rash on her backside. So I checked beneath the lilacs. Sure enough–poison ivy. Perhaps we should have found a grape arbor or a pomegranate tree to make love under (see S of S 7:12)! Next time, I planned ahead and scouted out a place with no ivy.
I admit, I jumped straight to the comments to read the injury stories 🙂
(Linked to this post here.)
Hey, I had a story in the post! Lol. 😉
J – I have her jock itch and she gave me a yeast infection. Does that count?
LOL!
Accidentally broke a mirror with my head we were in front of during a love session. My head was fine, but the bathroom mirror didn’t survive the incident lol… another time I accidentally slammed the bottom of my foot up against the metal frame of our extra tall bed. We didn’t let that out a damper on our time together though! The bottom of my heel was purple for a few days and I walked with a limp, but it was worth it. Lol Hubby and I have had lots of enthusiastic adventures over the years with accidents and such, but they make for the best memories. 😉
A couple months after we wad married we fixed Mexican food at home, she fixed her stuff, I did what she told me to do, wash vegetables slice Jalapenos, ect we sat down ate a great supper clean up the kitchen. Went to watch TV and cuddle…kissing and things lead us to the bedroom. It was getting hot and heavy and I was fingering her and rubbing her clit, when she jump outta bed ran to the bathroom yelling l am on fire, l was so confused not realizing the jalapeños juice dried on my fingers and when mixed with her lube it set her on fire down there. I went to the bathroom, she is sitting in ice cold water telling me what is happening. I felt soooo bad. She asked me to look and she was bright red with a couple blisters. So now we laugh about it.
Oh. My. Goodness. Yes, that jalapeño juice is super-hot! Ouch.
My wife was sitting on one side of the bed recovering after. I came back from the bathroom and dropped down on the other side bouncing her out and into a tall jewelry chest which give her a cut on the forehead. Head cuts are real bleeders so it looked way worse than it was but she was a marked woman for days while it was healing. Don’t tell her I told you.
I heard nothing. Did y’all?
I’m not much of a jalapeno pepper person but the hubby is. One afternoon I cut up jalapenos without covering my hands. Later that night we got down to a little fun. I thought all was over and we were just enjoying being together. All of a sudden he sits up and says “my guy feels kinda warm.” All of a sudden it hit both of us. He went to the bathroom and cleaned up- no lasting injury- but I was so mortified. Its funny now, but wasn’t so much then.
I have overly loose joints and have on more than one occasion dislocated a hip whilst being on top! Fortunately I have a fantastic physiotherapist who suggested putting a pillow underneath hubby to raise him up a bit and take some of the pressure off my hips. Works like a charm, as I have thankfully had no problems since.