Here’s How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

Having sex can be awkward. Oddly enough, talking about sex can be even more awkward.

Blog post title + couple talking in bed

How do you bring up to your concerns, desires, or ideas to your spouse? What issues should you even talk about? How can you get them to understand you, and how can you possibly understand them?

It’s not easy, because you are two different people, with different histories, different perspectives, and different longings. But guess what? I’m making it much easier for you!

Pillow Talk Book Cover, click to learn more or find buy links

I’ve released a new book titled Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples. It provides you the framework for having productive conversations on all kinds of topics from kissing to sexual fantasies to frequency to erogenous zones to sexual baggage and much more.

This book is not prescriptive on what exactly your sex life should look like, but rather helps you discuss how you can address the sexual intimacy part of your marriage in a way that honors and satisfies both of you.

For some reading this, that may seem like a tall order. But I can’t think of anything in this book that would be problematic for either a higher-desire spouse or a lower-desire spouse. You each get the opportunity to express where you are and what you think. Of course, you’re often encouraged to not settle for the here-and-now but to pursue healthier and holier sexual intimacy, because that’s God’s design—for both of you and for your marriage.

To learn more about the book, head over to the Pillow Talk page on my site. You’ll find a full description, a sample view, and buy links. For a short time, the Pillow Talk ebook is offered at an introductory price of only $2.99! The print book is coming in early 2019.

I pray this resource will bless many marriages! Happy New Year.

11 thoughts on “Here’s How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex

  1. Brian

    Ordered! This is exactly my issue in my marriage right now – not knowing how to bring up the subject in a way that fosters intimacy and doesn’t cause my wife to get defensive. Can’t wait to read it!

    Reply
  2. hubby m

    Going to order, because the joy and challenge of marital sex is a life lesson in itself.

    P.s. PLEASE take an unspoken prayer request… God bless and thank you for your work

    Reply
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  4. Anonymous

    I would like to order but it would not be well received. I have made attempts in the past… they have failed. After nearly 40 years of marriage, I have learned to be content. I looking forward to be with my heavenly Father…

    Reply
  5. FF

    Hi J, I look forward to sharing your blog with my wife! And thank you for breaching a “not so easy in Christian circles – although it should be” topic! Wishing you a great 2019! I have been blessed with an amazing marriage (although it took TONS of work to get where we are at) and we have found the key is open communication. We celebrate our 27 year anniversary next month and I will be picking this up for our weekend getaway!

    Reply
      1. Anthony Innerd

        Hi J,
        I never had attachment as infant and perhaps why struggled with receiving, I know how to show or give love but emotional attachment, is a biggey for me. I did not marry with same problem but I have never had problems but my wife 25 years does. I think because I cannot receive, and being a survivor of adverse childhoold environment, I thini now after 25 years that someone from such background that “Trauma survivors cannot imagine something they have never seen or ever experienced. You cannot ask for what you do not know. Yet kind words, gentleness, bestowed dignity, has suddenly let the survivor know that such things are available”. Quote from a Phd consultant, 40 years working in trauma. I would love your book but my wife would never read any help book, and although i am great reader and writer, will get a sample but is there anyway of acutally purchasing your book. I dont live in Usa but Sweden but am from UK.
        Bless for being one of the abover persons who let us know that such things as love are available

        Reply
  6. J Life

    Pillow Talk is a really nice title for the subject you have chosen. It is vital that partners have conversations regarding sex and intimacy. They need to share their true expectations so that the relationship is truly fulfilling. Thank you for sharing this post. J Parker, I think more women should read books like this one.

    Reply

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