When I started my blog back in 2010, I committed to be candid, to push myself to say more than might be strictly comfortable. Why? Because in most Christian circles I’d been in, we didn’t talk enough about the tough theology or practical steps or sensitive topics.
Beyond the sensitive topic of sex, I’ve been candid about body image and breast augmentation. Today, I’m going to keep that up by sharing why I took my implants out.
Sharing About My Augmentation
In 2011, I wrote two posts about my decision to get breast augmentation, then a follow-up months later, and a second follow-up (based on a reader question) in 2017. Those posts are not available right now, because I want to revisit them and see whether they should be given an introductory disclaimer, revised to include what I know now, or simply discarded. But back then, I wrote:
After living with a pubescent chest for almost thirty years, watching my breast disappear every time I raise my arm above my head, and putting 19 of every 20 outfits I try on back on the rack because they don’t fit my bodice, I started thinking the unthinkable. What if plastic surgery isn’t about how I appear to others or vanity? What if it’s about how I feel about myself? About feeling normal?Aiming for My Best Chest, Part 1
Some basic questions ran through my mind as I determined whether I could have plastic surgery and honor God through the process:
1. Am I being a good financial steward? Plenty of people spend the same amount of money on vacations, furniture, home renovations, etc. That’s okay, as long as we are taking care of our families’ needs and giving generously to our local church and those in need. I had to know that we had money to use for this event and weren’t taking it from another, essential area.
2. Am I seeking a vain, unrealistic ideal? God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7). If we believe that our worth is driven by external beauty, we’ve missed the point. I get that. I’m not determining my worth based on that. You see, I don’t want to win a wet t-shirt contest, just shop in the women’s lingerie department.
3. Am I choosing a size consistent with the body God gave me? Women do lots of things to enhance their beauty–from make-up to Botox to liposuction. Where’s the line? I don’t know! But I’m pretty sure that a woman slapping in implants big enough to don an F-cup results in the wrong kind of attention. So I’ve done what I can to keep myself in check–choosing an implant that will take me to a reasonable bra size.
4. Am I able to help others in the future with this issue? I think so. Sure, there are times we’d all like an extreme makeover, but my experience might help others sort through the actual issues involved. You gotta ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Is it pure vanity or something else?Aiming for My Best Chest, Part 2
I took my sweet time considering this operation–making sure that I was sure.
Believe me, I did my homework! In answer to a reader’s question on how I felt about my implants six years later, I said:
Will you have any regrets? I don’t know. I can’t predict what anyone else will feel. For myself, I have none. But a good portion of why I don’t have regrets is that I carefully considered my decision, researched my options, discussed it fully with my husband, and prayed to make sure my motives were not selfish vanity.Q&A with J: “How Do You Feel about Your Implants Now?”
Many people had no idea I’d had the procedure done, because I had chosen implants proportionate to my body shape and size and didn’t flaunt them unnecessarily. (I did flaunt them at my husband, but he liked my chest being flaunted at him whatever its size!)
We Had a Good Run
As I said back in 2017, I had no regrets. I healed fine from the surgery, had no decrease in sensitivity (perhaps even an increase), and found it much easier to shop for clothes. My husband liked the result too, not in the sense of those breasts being better but different and allowing for new exploration.
But in October 2020, I got sick and my health problems persisted. You can read more at Are Breast Implants Bad for You? Essentially, I had severe fatigue, body aches, joint pain, weakness, headaches, mild dizziness, and my least favorite, brain fog.
What on earth was going on?!
Nine months later, I have a really good idea. Not because any one doctor had the diagnosis, but because I slowly but surely pieced together the puzzle.
The corner piece for me was menopause. Among other benefits, estrogen provides immune system support (very good for a potential or current mom to have!). Once that coverage went away, underlying health issues floated to the top. From October to now, I discovered:
- Mild rheumatoid arthritis, which explained some of the joint pain.
- Root canal infection, and retreatment made my headaches subside.
- Deviated septum and sinus issues as well as obstructive sleep apnea, which resulted in nose surgery and a CPAP respectively, both helping me to breathe and sleep better.
Yet the fatigue, aches, weakness, and brain fog continued. The most likely explanation I’d found was Breast Implant Illness (BII), a widespread immune system response triggered by the presence of that foreign body. It’s not an official diagnosis—and may never be, given healthcare industry incentives—but thousands of women have reported similar symptoms and relief when they got their implants explanted.
I still had no regrets for the decision I made back in 2010, because I’d done so as responsible and thoroughly as I could at the time. But now that there was a possibility that my implants were causing my health struggles? Well, we had a good run, but it was time to shut that show down.
Removing My Implants
I consulted three plastic surgeons—including my original one, who’d previously done a great job but denied the possibility of breast implant illness—before choosing one I trusted to perform my explant surgery. My doctor‘s practice is almost entirely breast implant removal these days, and he has a long track record of knowing how to remove the implants properly and completely. (For anyone looking for an explant surgeon, you can find a good list of options to start your search here.)
On the afternoon of June 10, I walked into the surgical room, laid down on the waiting gurney, and seconds later, the anesthesiologist had knocked me out. When I woke up, I was groggy and in a bit of pain, but my husband escorted me out and we made the hour-plus drive back home.
Fast forward through pain medication, propping up to sleep, and surgical drains, and we reach two weeks post-surgery. While I was still sore and recovering, it was like a cloud lifted and I had more strength, energy, and clear thinking. For those who read my post about no longer having my monkey circus brain, I felt confident that the chimps were coming back home.
Are all my issues resolved? I need more time to know for sure. But call me a believer that Breast Implant Illness is a real thing and removal of implants can help those who have it.
As for what’s left behind, I’m not concerned about the loss of size or the longer scars that come with this surgery. No one questions when a woman (or man) with breast cancer has her (his) original-issue breasts removed to get better. So why would I balk at taking out upgrades for the sake of my health? If it hadn’t worked, it was still no huge loss.
But it looks like it did work for me.
What Do I Think About Implants Now?
Are implants bad for you? I posed that question in a previous post, and my answer is … maybe but probably not. From what I gathered in my research, plenty of women get breast implants and never have any problems at all.
However, I’m also convinced that breast implant candidates should be screened for autoimmune issues. Moreover, patients should receive more complete information and thorough consent forms (explained in full) before undergoing surgery. (See Breast Implants – Certain Labeling Recommendations to Improve Patient Communication – Guidance for Industry and Food and Drug Administration Staff (fda.gov).) And finally, women with breast implants should receive FDA-recommended ultrasounds or MRIs at 5-6 years postoperatively and every 2-3 years thereafter.
A small percentage of women will have issues. If you think you might have Breast Implant Illness, head over to this post where I include more research information: Are Breast Implants Bad for You?
But do your homework about other possible health issues. It might not be your implants at all. Or maybe not the only issue. Had I jumped right onto BII, I might have resolved my primary issues, but I would still have the headaches and not know about my rheumatoid arthritis. Just look into the options before self-diagnosing BII or something else.
What I hope no one concludes from my story is that all plastic surgery is bad—that we can’t or shouldn’t mess with God’s creation. Yes, I fully believe in being grateful for the body we have that God knit together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-14). However, plastic surgery has also done wonders for people with birth defects or recovering from a physical injury. And it has helped some deal with body image challenges in reasonably healthy ways.
I’m not opposed to plastic surgery. (See Should Christians Get Plastic Surgery?) Rather, I believe in being cautious and responsible in making such decisions, using the knowledge and insight we can gain from science and others, and seeking the counsel of God and trusted fellow Christians. As your fellow Christian, I hope my candid story can help.
18 thoughts on “Why I Took My Breast Implants Out”
This is so helpful! A family member of ours has implants and I wonder if this could relate to her personality shift after menopause.
It’s wonderful that you found a helpful solution to your health issues. If you haven’t already, I highly suggest a good water filter/RO system to further help. Worked wonders for me!
Interesting. The phrase “personality shift after menopause” definitely made me mull. ~wink~ I will look into the water filter system too!
As a man, there is only so much I can relate to regarding this topic, but I really appreciate your honesty and openness with this subject. I absolutely relate to your husbands perspective; “but he liked my chest being flaunted at him whatever its size!” I pray that God will continue to bring you healing. I also pray that He will use your experience to help others who are either considering implants or considering having them removed. I believe this is an important topic for ladies to consider before making the decision to undergo this elective procedure.
Thank you for sharing so candidly.
Regarding the older posts: my advice would be to reinstate them, but just add a note at the to of each saying “Please read this post in the context of [LINK] this later one on why I had my implants removed”. It’s always good to be able to see the history of a process.
Thanks. I like that idea of showing the history of a process. I’m definitely a “learn from the journey” person!
I agree with Some Guy. I came here (just discovered your site) because of the breast augmentation discussion you have here, and I wanted to read your processing of it, as that’s where I am right now. Just had an appointment with a plastic surgeon today!
Thank you for your blog; it looks interesting.
I love you, J. Thanks for expressing yourself and your journey so well.
Aw, thanks, Linda! ♥
Thank you for acknowledging our need to feel comfortable/normal in our own skin. In my case I grow weary of all the “Christian” (ahem) hooey on being content with our bodies in regard to weight loss, remembering that we’re beautiful in God’s (and our husbands’) eyes, not being concerned with what others think, blah blah blah…as if what we ourselves think and feel in our own bodies doesn’t count. But the first two reasons (at least) that you listed for why you decided to get breast implants also resonate with me (albeit from a different perspective):
– Feeling like a woman: with a waistline and without WWF-scale shoulders.
– Fitting into clothes: being able to button my pants (and blouses) and not look/feel like a belted pillow.
And I must admit a certain degree of judgment I might have applied toward the idea of a woman having her breasts augmented, as in my estimation it would have been based largely in vanity. But the explanation you describe here (and previously) for doing things for/to ourselves, again for the sake of how we feel in our own skin (even if in your case you had the procedure reversed), is validating to me and likely many women who might feel judged for not taking the “Christian” approach of acceptance and resignation in regard to our physical appearances.
I’m so happy you’re feeling better! I know you’ve had a long way to go to get here and I’ll pray for your recovery.
Thank you for sharing so candidly, J. I am so so sorry for the health issues you’ve had. But so glad you’re doing better now. I’ve had a bazillion health issues starting about 4 years ago, seemingly out of the blues. The brain fog was the worst so I know how it feels to have some relief. Your post has encouraged me to keep advocating for myself, pressing on and finding answers! (because sometimes it gets tiring 😏 ) Thank you ❤
YAY!! So glad you’re recovering, J! Praying you stay on a good, healing path.
I pray for continued healing and commend you for taking well thought out precautionary steps to be as healthy as you can.
We are kind of curious about your nose surgery. Did it cure your sleep apnea? Does your nose feel discomforted or sensitive? My wife has considered it but both of us are concerned about the possible negative outcome if such a surgery like that goes wrong.
Good questions! No, it did not cure my sleep apnea, but it was never intended to. If anything, the ENT said it could make my CPAP therapy more effective; however, I haven’t been using the CPAP because I find the nasal pillow I’ve found to be uncomfortable and irritating since surgery. I’m working on resolving that. My nose definitely feels sensitive; in fact, I’ve been more aware of my nose discomfort, swelling, and odd tingles since the implant surgery, because now I feel well enough to notice localized sensations. I’m seeing the ENT later this week and asking about it. (I think she might give me another steroid shot.) It’s weird, but I can’t yet say whether the nose surgery was a success. She did several things, and from what I read, it takes a loooooong time to recover—perhaps because your nose/mouth area are so sensitive. I think it will be good, but I’m still on hold a bit. If your wife wants to shoot me an email and ask anything else, you can find me at j@hotholyhumorous[dot]com.
When my husband was traveling for work, he would wind up in some beautiful towns and cities and in his spare time go exploring and look for things for me. In one upscale town he found a charming lingerie shop that sold high end lingerie. The cheap pantyhose they sold was $25 a pair! Well, the town was only a few hours away from our home, so he asked me to come down for a visit and he took me to the shop. The lady who owned and operated the shop was an absolutely stunning woman of color who carried her slim, willow frame with grace and poise. And she was flat as a pancake! Like seriously. She wore a skin tight top and not a hint of breast tissue bulged from her chest. I couldn’t tell you if she was naturally flat or had a double mastectomy, but there it was. No breasts at all. And running a lingerie shop to boot! And looking stunning.
I thought of how difficult it must be for her to find clothing since women’s clothing are designed around a b or c cup. But, she seemed to have found her style.
God Bless You For This Post!
I recently had breast augmentation and your story resonates with me. I felt like I was still in middle school watching everyone get theirs and after 35 years, two kids, menopause still nothing…lol. I gained weight that seemed it would never come off during my menopause. The journey also included: memory fog, exhaustion, joint pain and the like. Once I reached what I considered the other side, I felt much better. My energy returned and I started a fitness journey resulting in a weight loss of 40+ lbs. I also dropped down to 20% body fat. This unfortunately left my chest looking like a flat tire. I agonized over this for months, did not feel good about intimacy with my husband and like you, had a difficult time wearing any top without major padding. My husband and I are both Christian, so it was not a decision I took lightly. Also he loved me the way I was. On my birthday last year we traveled to a family wedding. While in the hotel he took my hands and said, “I think you should do it”. I replied, “do what?” He then told me he was on board with the surgery. I still gave it more thought, because I really wanted him to be ok with it and not grossed out…lol. I discussed with my primary doctor, completed a full panel health exam, prayed and sought Gods counsel. I researched for over a year and had numerous consults. It is still early for me only a week after surgery and I love my results. I will watch for some of the symptoms you pointed out and appreciate you sharing your story. Like other women here I am torn some days with Gods creation perspective vs. the advances he makes available for us to improve our health and appearance. My husband assures me he is not grossed out, so I am praising God that it was virtually painless, only needed Tylenol. I am also thankful I have a battery of Christian women who supported me and prayed for me. I think it is a big decision that requires a relationship with God and a solid support system.
Praying for full recovery and fresh health! I definitely feel so much better, and even discovered a couple of weeks ago that I no longer have a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis. My symptoms of that are gone, and the bloodwork came back normal. I have a couple of lingering issues, but nothing huge.
And how lovely to hear that your husband has supported you throughout! I have heard many such stories at this point, and I appreciate knowing how many husbands just see their wives as beautiful, whatever size their boobs are, and want the best for their beloved. Blessings!