Ah, the kiss! That brilliant invention of our Creator that makes us check our breath, cock our heads, plant a big wet one, and hunger for one more. Plenty of Christians writing about sex believe that the orgasm is proof that our Creator designed mating for pleasure. While I agree, I would add that the kiss is an excellent ingredient as well. Kisses are not required for reproduction. So what is their point?
In my last two posts, I talked about how we need to focus on kissing and some different types of kissing. Finally, here are a few tips for fantastic, fun-filled, fabulous, frisky, frenzied kissing. (I got carried away with alliteration.)
Your breath. It matters. By the way, you are the last person to know whether you are experiencing a bout of halitosis. It’s funny how we breathe onto our palms, sniff them, and expect that to tell us something. Do you smell your own sweat when you’ve been excessively exercising? Do your kids recognize when they have foot odor? No. Your breath will just smell like your breath to you, unless you make it smell minty or yummy. Toothpaste, mints, mouthwash — these are our friends. Use them. Especially if you just ate something that has an intense taste or aroma.
Lips. Loose lips sink ships and communicate, “I can’t be bothered to pucker.” Tight lips indicate a controlling personality or anxiety. Relax your lips, but shape them so that they can be easily kissed.
Tongue. My worst kisser had a twelve-foot tongue. Okay, maybe not. But he used it like a boa constrictor invading my mouth. If you’re not sure how to use your tongue in an open-mouthed kiss, think of the word “tease.” Tease your spouse with your tongue. When full passion arrives, you can twist your tongues together to your heart’s delight, but remember that it still shouldn’t fill their entire mouth.
Hands. Where you place your hands is important. Kissing without touching can feel impersonal. And immediately grabbing bums or private parts when going in for the smooch is not romantic. As your lips caress his/her lips, your hands should caress as well. You may caress shoulders, arms, back, hair, and face. You can also use your hands to draw your partner in or gently position them at a better angle.
Eyes. Open or closed? I’m not a stickler on this one. But I know some people think it’s weird to be watched at such a close distance while being kissed, so they prefer closed. For some people also, it helps them to concentrate on the sensation of the kiss if they block out visual stimuli.
Remember that kissing can be enjoyed for its own beauty or can lead to something else. I wish I could do a quick survey and ask wives if they feel their husbands kiss them often enough without expecting further sexual activity. My prediction would be that many wives would say no.
But if you doubt the wonderful gift of kissing from God, try it out for a while in your marriage. Jim Burns of the Homeword radio show suggests that married couples take time to have a 15-second kiss every day. That might have a glorious effect on many couples — just returning to the courtship of kissing.
My bet is that it would also result in more bedroom activity as well.
How do you incorporate kissing into your marriage? Do you kiss as often as you would like? What tips would you give someone to master a perfect kiss?
To conclude my kissing series, here’s one last poem that appeals greatly to both the writer and the lover in me:
May I print a kiss on your lips?” I said,
And she nodded her full permission:
So we went to press and I rather guess
We printed a full edition.