Bedazzled, Bothered, and Bewildered

I recently learned a new word that I want to share with you. Let’s see if you know its proper definition.

To vajazzle is:
a. To wear bedazzled lingerie
b. To do a strip tease to jazz music
c. To decorate female private parts with bling-bling

If you immediately answered C, good for you. If like many more readers, you cringed when you read C, welcome to my original response.

Apparently, vajazzling is a new trend! It’s a take on the bedazzling phenomenon, only with girly parts. If you don’t know what bedazzling looks like, here are a few examples:

A bedazzled cap.

 

A bedazzled jacket.

 

Bedazzled nails.

 

You can also bedazzle purses, shoes, tote bags, belts, and . . . skin.

 

So imagine taking those little shiny adhesive beads and attaching them to your private area.

After discovering this word (through a writer friend), I did a bit of online research. Apparently, vajazzling has been mentioned on reality shows and by celebrities. There are websites devoted to this process and how it works. You probably have some of the same questions I did, so I’ll share what I learned.

What kind of bling-bling is used? They are “body crystals,” somewhat like the ones used on nails.

Where do the crystals go? You can put them in other places, like around your waist or on your abdomen, but for vajazzling they typically go on the clean-shaven or waxed area above the clitoris. They can be small designs or extend across the triangle shape of a woman.

What kind of sticky stuff is used? Eyelash glue and spirit gum were mentioned, as well as a resin-based glue. The adhesive used is especially for skin, although some might still have an allergic reaction to the substance if sensitive to it.

How long do they last? From what I could tell, maybe five days. Like other stick-ons, friction and moisture wear out the adhesiveness.

Do they interfere with intercourse? Because of their placement well above the vagina, they shouldn’t.

Who puts the crystals on? You can do it yourself (kits are available) or get it done professionally at a salon.

Why on earth would anyone do this??? Yes, this is the question I asked myself. So I had a nice chat with the hubster. It went a bit like this:

Me: Why would a woman want to vajazzle? Is that an appealing idea to men?

Hubs: Well, it would draw attention to the area.

Me: I thought guys were already pretty much drawn to that area. You need more?

Hubs: Well, it’s like an invitation. Like you decorated to let us know you want to have sex.

Me: You need an invitation? How big of a hint? Like should I arrange beads in the shape of an arrow? Write a message down there?

Hubs: I’m not saying I want you to do that. I just understand why some people would.

Me: [Sigh]

Seriously, I am wondering who is doing this. Because it took me a while to go for the idea of landscaping at all down there (see Trimming the Hedges). Now I’m supposed to slap on some bling-bling? I wonder if I could use the sequins from my kids’ craft projects and some Elmer’s.

One final question about vajazzling:

What about the guys? Shouldn’t husbands be decorating their man parts? Where’s the fairness here? Well, as a matter of fact, there is something called pejazzling. The husbands can get in on this trend too.

Now there’s another interesting question for the wives: Do you think your man should glam it up a bit? Get on a bit of shine? Sparkle a little?

Let me know what you think of this new trend. Have you heard of vajazzling? Have you done it? Do you think wives (and husbands) should consider it?

24 thoughts on “Bedazzled, Bothered, and Bewildered

  1. Greg

    The way God designed and created women requires absolutely zero “bling” to be breathtakingly beautiful and desirable. This just hints way too much at the “it’s not enough” mentality that the pornification of our society is causing.

    1. J

      I replied generally below, but I wanted to add how much I appreciate your assertion, Greg, that women are “breathtakingly beautiful and desirable” as made by God. That kind of statement from men (and not in some creepy ogling way, but a recognition of the Creator’s hand) helps take the pressure off us gals to do more and be more when we are already enough. Some women may vajazzle, most won’t; but regardless, it’s how God made our bodies that appeals to our husbands. Thanks.

  2. B

    Greg-
    I think dropping this into the category of pornography is a bit harsh. Although I do agree that the female image has been pornogrified (I know this is not a word) in our society, I think that any “dressing up” that either the husband enjoys or the wife likes because it makes her feel beautiful or sexy is fine within the bonds of marriage. This goes for jewelry of any type, lingerie, vajazzling, etc.

    1. Greg

      My concern is that the influences of pop culture and pornography are very subtle–they are a slippery slope by design. It’s already a struggle for women and even little girls to just accept themselves physically and emotionally as they are (see operationbeautiful.com). I realize that this will not necessarily trip up every woman, but it still sends the wrong message.

    2. Anonymous

      This is absolutely true. Generous Husband/Generous Wife, about 2 months ago, ran reports about the newest thing in plastic surgery – labia modification. Apparently, porn has become so influential that women think that if their labia don’t look like those of porn stars’, something is wrong with them and they are going to plastic surgeons to have that ‘fixed.’

  3. Salina

    Hahaha! I had heard of this before, but I never understood why a woman and certainly not a man would want to. Absolutely, I would NOT want my husband to “pejazzle”. Men have become way too effeminate now a days anyway. I like my man to be just that, a man.

  4. Julie Sibert

    Had never heard of it until you pointed it out to me a few weeks ago.

    Haven’t done it.

    Probably will never do it, because I think… who has that kind of time? Ha!

    My hubby would probably think it is hilarious, which depending on the circumstances, could be a real mood killer. He’s also very practical, so he’d probably wonder about the expense.

    But I must say that I don’t see anything wrong with it, if a woman wants to do this to entice and excite her husband.

    Kind of takes “accessorizing” to a whole new level.

    Probably wouldn’t be something you’d do right before a visit to your gynecologist, because, well… that would just be weird.

    1. J

      I’m popping in here, Julie, just long enough to say that I don’t think your gynecologist would even flinch. I have a friend who works as a nurse for an OB/Gyn, and she says they see it all – wax jobs, tattoos, piercing, etc. I wonder if the docs are warned about it in med school.

    2. Anonymous

      nursing students are warned about the fact that they will “see everything, hear everything” so I assume that med students are as well. If my LPN class can discuss stuff that some of us have never heard of while merely covering a chapter on drugs used in treatment of UTI’s, or birth control, imagine what the conversations consist of in med school!!!!

  5. upwithmarriage

    Interesting !

    I’ve got a couple of thoughts, and certainly not meant to be contentious in any way towards anyone … just sharing thoughts.

    The ‘porn’ comment did seem a bit harsh. I do see both sides and I get what you mean Greg. However, I hold to ‘letting the marriage bed be undefiled,’ and if it’s a fun thing that both agree with, I cannot see anything negative about it … just fun … and meant to be kept to the privacy of the bedroom and not flaunted.

    It seems to me that if you take a purer view of it, say perhaps a ‘gift with a twist.’ Didn’t God ‘present’ Eve to Adam. “God then used the rib that he had taken from the man to make woman and presented her to the man.” (Gen 2:22 MSG). I’m not trying to be flippant about God’s Word, I just think that marriage can be rough and filled lots of trials and frustrations, and when we have an opportunity to lighten things up and even ‘humourize’ (i think that might be a home-made word) then we should take advantage of those times.

    Last year for valentines day, I didn’t do the vajazzle but I did try some self-adhesive stickers and strategically placed them. Hubby didn’t really comment one way or the other, he’s of the opinion that the female body is already pretty hot, and lingerie just gets in the way! However, I had a super fun time putting them on!!!

    … and for you women, it does make you feel kinda, idk, …. Sassy and sexy … which can be an added bonus in the mental department! As far as some pejazzle …. Nah, I don’t think so. But if hubs wanted to … I certainly wouldn’t deprive him!

  6. J

    I don’t believe that slapping adhesive jewels on your skin is equal to genital mutilation. Injuring yourself for the sake of some unrealistic ideal is NOT okay. Yet, if someone wants to put these temporary stickers on their body, I don’t know how that could be a sin. I do think it’s an odd phenomenon that we are decorating our bodies in these ways, and I hope that no one feels compelled to take these measures. Frankly, I don’t know what porn stars are doing, and I agree that they should not be a model for any kind of behavior. Husbands and wives should appreciate the amazing beauty that God Himself crafted into our bodies.

    That said, a little bling-bling on my man’s stuff would NOT take over the show; HE is the main stage attraction, period. I’m certain he feels the same way about me.

  7. Marsha

    The best line I read re: this trend – I wish I could remember where – went like this: “My secret garden does NOT need a disco ball.”

    I think I’ll sit this one out, thanks!

  8. Anonymous

    I think it depends on your relationship. My husband and I are 100% into each other and not only is pornography 0% of our marriage but my husband is even careful to turn his head away from provocative window displays at the mall and etc. so as not to even bring any images of anyone other than me into his mind.

    I think if I did something like this he would get totally excited about it . . . because, as he says, when I do special things like lingerie or lighting candles/preparing our bedroom etc then he knows that I have been thinking about having sex with him and that’s a big ego boost to him. It confirms his desirability. So if I vajazzled then I think it would go right along with that.

    He says when I jazz things up that it is “all of the fun and none of the guilt”. I like that and it makes me feel successful in holding his sexual attention and not allowing Satan to draw his mind toward worldly temptations.

    However, I do believe if perversion or pornography has been an issue with a husband that he struggles with, it may not be the best idea.

    Saying all that, I agree that “who has time” lol. I have 4 kids and we struggle to find time and privacy as it is now 🙂 So would I consider it? Yep. Will I do it anytime soon? Most likely not!

  9. Christy

    So first I don’t think “spicing” things up in the privacy of your bedroom in whatever way is suitable to you and your spouse is a sin when it comes to things like this. OK watching porn together? Yes an obvious NO!
    But slapping on some bling and a little lacy pantie does not qualify as a sin or being linked to porn.
    My husband could care less about all the “fun” stuff I buy and put on or put around the room. But for me sex starts in the mind and I enjoy doing those things for him and for myself. It’s fun to plan and anticipate it all day.
    I have not tried the jewels and probably won’t only because I don’t want to chance loosing any of those little suckers and having said lady from above’s Dr. husband have to remove them. LOL! Ha! Oh man I crack myself up. 😉

  10. Anonymous

    i think it would be fun honestly speaking. i mean if you just buy one of those little stick on body jewelry kits no one knows that you’re doing anything other than your nails keeping it in the bedroom and quiet, if nothing else isee it as putting on pretty underwear under your clothes makes you feel good and confident and only you and your mate knows why 🙂 as for pejazzling i don’t think so lol not one for having sparkles on my hubby lol. that being said (and believe me we are both devout christians) we both have a few piercings (he more than i) that he gave us no one else knows about it and we both find it nice. not for everyone of course just throwing that out there i see it in no way as being a sin or pornographic it’s brought us closer together 🙂

  11. Nicole

    I wonder if I could use the sequins from my kids’ craft projects and some Elmer’s.

    Haha That was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh there!

    Seriously though, that is kind of strange and I don’t think I’d be interested in trying it.

  12. amorveri

    Nooooo! I do not want to see anything jeweled, dazzled, or glittered anywhere near the hubster’s “area.” And, quite frankly, he wouldn’t dare take on such a look even if I wanted. He doesn’t need anything extra.

    As for women, I can’t fathom why a man would care, but could possibly see where it might make women feel a bit more sensual (similar to lingerie). I certainly wouldn’t ever feel the need for vajazzling, though. Not for me!

    All in all, it shouldn’t be needed or a requirement, but if it spices up something and is fun for you and your both comfortable, go for it!

    http://amorveri.wordpress.com

  13. Christy

    OK wait, I have to comment once more…..I think a bedazzled arrow point down your stomach to your nether regend might be kinda funny! Ha!

  14. TC Thompson

    I am thinking about trying these out for Valentine’s Day as an accessory. I think it’d be kind of fun and different. However, I laugh at the thought of my hubby pedazzaling…Just picturing him bent over and trying to apply things on his nether regions is hillarious. But we have a great sense of humor together. So even if it doesn’t spark arousal, it will be a great source of conversation and giggles, which is also an aphrodisiac. 🙂

  15. Danielle

    I’ve never heard of this term before, so thank you! I’m all about spicing things up in the bedroom and using “visual enhancers” to entice my hubby. This helps me show him that I love him and I really want to have sex with him…I don’t view it as a chore and I’ve made an effort. So many times sex is done without thought or effort put ito it and becomes routine and…let’s face it…boring. (http://hotholyhumorous.blogspot.com/2012/01/espn-comes-to-bedroom.html)

    While I appreciate the objections because of the world, I think that sometimes, too, we let the world influence us in the opposite direction. We see them do something and say if we do it, we are trying to be like them or we are catering to an unhealthy view of ourselves. I think we should try to look as attractive to our mates as we can, but we use God’s standard of beauty not the worlds. And I would never flaunt myself outside my home, but inside the bedroom, it’s fair game! We should enjoy our attractiveness and sexuality within the bedroom, and be free with each other. (I do understand that there are hurts and scars with some people, but that should be worked out with each other and even through Biblical councilors and pastors. My dad does that for a living…but these issues can be overcome through Jesus!)

    While I hate that some women feel they have to look a certain way to please their husbands, I think some women are very comfortable with the way they look, but still like to play dress-up in the bedroom. Every little girl likes to feel like a princess. And she shows she is one by putting on a gown and tiara and parading around the living room or having a tea party. That’s the way I feel when I dress up to go into the bedroom. I like to feel pretty. (I actually wrote a blog about feeling attractive verses the world’s standard of beauty http://blessedservant.blogspot.com/search/label/Devotional)

    So, thank you for this idea! I might do it for Valentine’s day, too!

  16. Mrs. Right

    I LOVE sparkly things! I used to wear my flashy rhinestone earrings all the time just w/ jeans. If I ever decided to vajazzle or some home-made cheap version 😉 it would primarily be for me. I think Mr. Right would be intrigued, but find it somewhat ridiculous at the same time. I think the process would be more mentally preparing myself for some excitement, which can only be a good thing, right?

    Something I tried once upon a time, and should again, is glow-in-the-dark paint. You’ll obviously need to expose it all to light for a few minutes before hitting the bedroom, but how fun to have an arrow or flirty sayings for him to find!

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