Tag Archives: Bonny Burns

Setting the Right Priorities in Your Marriage (and Your Life)

Pencil marking off list items + blog title

If you follow my blog regularly, you might have wondered if I’d fallen off the face of the earth. After all, the last time I put up a post was over two weeks ago.

You really don’t want to hear the whole story, but suffice it to say that I had three massive projects that all ended up with deadlines in those two weeks. And in the middle of that, I hosted my lovely friend and fellow podcaster, Bonny Burns of OysterBed7, and we attended the Authentic Intimacy Conference in San Antonio (with Dr. Juli Slattery).

J. Parker and Bonny Burns at the Authentic Intimacy Conference

One of those projects caught me by surprise, and a second one ended up being far more work than I’d anticipated, so I hadn’t planned well for this disruptions to my schedule. Sounds like life, eh?

But whether you’re in the midst of an overwhelming workload or a season of struggle or others needing your ever-so-precious time, you have to make choices. How do you set the right priorities?

When I ended up with a few minutes to spare, I didn’t blog here. I could have, but instead I offered to snuggle up with my husband on the couch and watch a show or go out to eat dinner with the family. I called back the friend who’d been unable to get a hold of me and asked how things were going with her. I chatted with my sister and my son on the phone. I went to church, worshiped with fellow believers, and attended Bible class. I headed to the grocery store, did laundry, made a cup of tea for myself and my hubby.

Each and every day, we’re faced with choices on how to use our time, our resources, our effort. People talk a lot about proper priorities, but how many of us are really living according to the ones we think we should have?

Each and every day, we're faced with choices on how to use our time, our resources, our effort. Click To Tweet

Most of the time, this blog is a high priority for me. I am passionate about passion, I care about your marriages, and I believe God has tasked me to do this ministry.

But these past two weeks, what I seemed to be hearing from Him instead was to not worry so much about the blog and attend to my marriage and my daily life. It’s not that Hot, Holy & Humorous doesn’t matter — I certainly believe it does! — but J. Parker herself isn’t necessary for anyone’s salvation or marital health. That’s God’s job, and I’m just here trying to do my part.

Where I am necessary is as a wife to my husband, a mother to my sons, a member of my church, and a friend to those with whom I’m close.

What about you? Have you really thought about how someone else could teach that Bible class or take a meal to another family? How if you didn’t redecorate the living room, life would be okay? How you could skip out on a social event or even a business meeting, and people would cope?

But if you skip out on your marriage, won’t there be real consequences? If you don’t prioritize your relationship with God, how will you suffer? If you aren’t there for your family, what will be missing in their lives (and yours)?

Likewise, I come here all the time saying that you can’t skip out on the sexual intimacy in your marriage and expect to have a good marriage. Sex isn’t the icing on the cake; it’s an important ingredient in the cake. But have you made it a priority?

You might suspect that within those two weeks, despite all the busyness, my husband and I did not deprive each other (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Because I believe in the importance of sex to our marriage, and I’ve seen that this special intimacy brings us closer in other ways.

I will return on Thursday, hopefully right back on schedule from here on out. But while I missed you all, I don’t regret choosing the priorities I chose. Because honestly, what kind of marriage blogger would I be anyway if I neglected my own marriage and family to write another post that you can live two weeks without?

4 Reasons to Listen to Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Launching next Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, Sex Chat for Christian Wives is a new podcast in which we’ll be talking about all kinds of things related to sexual intimacy in your marriage.

I could simply say the four reasons to listen are the hosts of this podcast:

Because it’s definitely a treat to get four marriage and sex bloggers all on the same podcast with our different perspectives and insight about subjects like sexual positions, the relationship of exercise and sex, female arousal, and more.

But this podcast isn’t about us. It’s about you.

4 Reasons to Listen to Sex Chat for Christian Wives with microphone and headphones

So here are four good reasons you should tune in:

1. It’s self-care. We’re big believers in self-care, all of us having learned the importance of getting ourselves in better emotional shape so that our marriages can thrive. It’s the airplane safety principle of putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you can help others get on their oxygen masks.

To have a healthy, happy sex life in marriage, we have to come with a healthy, holy perspective of the marriage bed. Our podcast helps you get to that place.

2. It’s time-savvy. We know how it is to be stretched thin among all the roles a woman plays in life and how managing your to-do list is a never-ending test of your resilience. Our podcasts pack into about 30 minutes what it would probably take you a lot longer to read. And you can listen while you work out, do laundry, drive to your next meeting, etc.

It’s a time-savvy way to be intentional about addressing sexual intimacy in your marriage.

3. It’s practical. Having written on this subject for years, we can all delve deep into the theological aspects of sexual intimacy in marriage. But we know that you want to walk away from listening to this podcast with ideas to immediately put into practice.

So while we operate from a biblical foundation, we give you practical tips that you can start using in your marriage right away. And hopefully, see a positive difference.

4. It’s inspiring. That might sound like cheesy marketing, but one effect I’d love to see from this podcast is for listeners to find their own circle of Christian wives to chat with about marriage and sexuality. We’re an example as we speak both seriously and humorously about various topics regarding sex.

And since I’m often asked how you can talk about your sex life enough to get real help, but not so much that you’re overly revealing, our podcast shows how it’s done. We don’t tell particulars of our bedroom escapades, but we talk about personal challenges and share collective wisdom.

Our first three episodes are Getting in the Mood, Sexual Positions, and 50 Shades of Here-We-Go-Again. Which will all be up sometime next week. In fact, you can already sneak-peek that first episode, by listening to Getting in the Mood below:

After launch week, we’ll be posting an episode every couple of weeks, with topics like stress, sex toys, scheduling sex, orgasm, and mismatched sex drives. Once we get our “sea legs,” we’ll also be answering reader questions. You can suggest a question here.

Make sure to follow us, as well, on whichever of these social media sites you use:

Facebook

Twitter

Pinterest

Instagram

YouTube

Also, find a friend to tell about Sex Chat for Christian Wives. I bet you know some wife who doesn’t like to read blogs, but she would listen to a podcast.

See y’all February 14!