Hot, Holy & Humorous

Rainy Days and Ugly Days Always Get Me Down

Ugly dog
Photo credit: Microsoft Word Clip Art

I recently had an ugly day. You ladies probably know what I mean.

Most of the time, I feel okay about my appearance. I don’t stop traffic with my beauty, but I also don’t get mistaken for a horror movie villain. I’m in the acceptable range, and I think that God made me reasonably attractive with some pretty features.

But now and then, I have a day where I feel like Cinderella’s stepsisters were Helen of Troy compared to me.

Why did this happen? I went shopping.

Taking ten outfits into the dressing room, I presumed that at least one would flatter my figure. Nope. So on to another store, and the same presumption. Nope. And to another store . . . and another . . . . A couple of hours later, I concluded that I have no figure.

Despite the fact that the scale says I weigh in the a-okay range, I can assure you that it is not distributed the way it once was. It was tempting to lie back on the dressing room floor, do 100 crunches, and try those jeans on one more time. It was tempting to suck in with all of my breath and never exhale again. It was tempting to purchase all of the “shapewear” in the store and wear it all at once to get everything back where it belongs.

I cursed childbirth for the shifting of fat and the elasticity of my skin. I cursed fast food for being so available and convenient at every corner. I cursed Coca-Cola for tasting like ambrosia, that nectar of the gods. I cursed my busy schedule for not allowing me to exercise two hours per day and still have a clean house, tasks completed, and family cared for. I cursed the fashion industry for tissue-thin shirts and low rise pants that highlight the muffin tops of older women. I cursed young women for not having muffin tops.

I felt U-G-L-Y.

So I came home and ate an ice-cream sandwich. (Don’t judge me, or I might eat another.)

That night, when I told my husband how I felt, he dismissed my conclusions. I’m not ugly to him. Not at all. He was rather eager to find my muffin top and feel his way around from there. He said that neither one of us has the taut tummy we used to have. He said that I’m still hot to him . . . as in, smokin’.

I am lucky to have a husband who likes my body just fine. I understand that not all wives have that lovely circumstance.

However, I bet if most of you wives had an experience like I did, where you stood there hand on hip, tears in eyes, and choke in throat declaring how U-G-L-Y you are, your hubbies would stare at you in disbelief. What do you take him for? He wouldn’t marry ugly! He’s got good taste, you know.

In fact, my own husband has such good taste that he asked me to bring him an ice cream sandwich too.

A couple of days later, feeling better about myself, I went shopping again. Score! A great pair of jeans (with a little stretchy fabric) and a nice button-down shirt were waiting for me. I took a couple of turns in front of the dressing room mirror and thought, Not too bad. Not amazing, but not bad.

It turns out that God does a pretty good job with His handiwork. I’m not 20 anymore. I will never bounce dimes on my abdomen again (did I ever?). I could be a little more fit (which I’m working on), but if God and my husband think I’m okay, who am I to argue?

Do you feel bad about your appearance at times? How do you snap out of it? How does your spouse help (or not help) on those Ugly Days that get you down?

16 thoughts on “Rainy Days and Ugly Days Always Get Me Down”

  1. Hey Mrs. HotHolyHumorous. If you were any better of a writer, I just don’t know what I’d do with myself!! Such a good post this one is!!! THanks for keeping it real and being so funny at the same time.

    Where’s my ice cream sandwich?!!

  2. Great post, I am going to share it with my wife! I am like your husband. I have good taste and didn’t marry ugly no matter how ugly she feels she is beautiful in my eyes and that is what should matter.

  3. Hello.. I’m a new follower and I must say that I love your style of writing. You make me smile since I can relate to this.. big time! Just yesterday I was dressing to go out and my husband started wiggling his eyebrows at me and I said “Don’t look at me I’m ugly and fat” and his reply. “I don’t care if you think so.. you are MINE and I love you” I asked him to repeat it again and follow it up with a big hug 🙂

    Thank you for the hot, holy and humorous!

    P.S. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one with a muffin top! 🙂

  4. I’m so happy to hear about great husbands out there who reassure their beautiful wives!

    Lisa Maria – Thanks for the compliment! I’m convinced that if Marilyn Monroe had worn low-rise skinny jeans in her day, she would have had a muffin top too! 🙂

  5. Ha! Yes I have days like that when I look in my closet at my clothes and cry,”whhhhyyyyy?” I know it’s random but it’s how I feel when everything looks and feels UGLY! However, the other day I went shopping and found a bra and a pair of shoes all in the same day. I mean COME ON! That little blessing will carry me for many a weeks. LOL!

  6. Slightly off topic, but some info, please Mrs. HHH. Where did you get the photograph of Yoda? Was he sunburnt at the time, because I remember him as being more green.

    More seriously, my DW’s beauty is much more thaqn skin deep. She has a holy character and a way of communicating God’s love to all of mankind that leaves me awestruck. So what if she’s put on a few pounds since we married, so have I. How can I ask her to do something (loes weight) I cannot do myself. Her body changed with the birth of our two children and she has a scar where she needed an emergency operation on an ectopic pregnancy, which never ceases to remind me of the risks she took to carry our children. She looks bettter to me today than she did when we first met.

  7. Thank you for this great post! I especially liked the part about the ice cream sandwich-LOL! Some days I feel like I have come to acceptance with my body and some days it gets me down.I am doing a small group thru my church with Lisa Terkyrst book Made To Crave and it is helping me crave God and not food!

  8. I love your blog.
    I had an ugly day a while back when we were heading out to a lunch with my husband’s work mates and their wives. Hubby and kids were waiting in the car to go and I was standing in front of my wardrobe crying like my heart was broken because I had nothing to wear and all the work mates’ wives are gorgeous. My husband came in and found me like that. I wished he had hugged me and said it’s ok. I wish he had told me I am beautiful to him. No. He told me I should have “effin” gone and bought clothes like he’d told me to. I argued that it’s not so easy with four kids in tow. Ladies, thank the Lord daily for you husbands who love you. They may have their faults, but their love can cover a multitude of sins. I, in the meantime, will keep praying. K

  9. Anonymous (K) – Your story breaks my heart. Remember what God says about you, “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3). We are indeed beautiful to Him. Keep praying. Your husband likely only knows part of how his words hurt. I will pray as well.

    Smart Anonymous – That is not a dumb question. I didn’t know until I asked. A “muffin top” is the slang term for the extra midsection (fat) that hangs over the waistand of a pair of pants or skirt. It is shaped like the top of a muffin hanging over the cupcake liner. With tighter, lower-rise jeans and our fast-food diets, there is more and more of that in America these days. I vote that Levi’s and Spanx team up to provide shapewear jeans, thus solving the rampant muffin top issue (well, without us all going on the Biggest Loser).

  10. As someone who roomed with three smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous girls last year, I understand those “ugly days.” I actually instituted a “No Fat Friday” rule that while we were ready to go out to dinner or a girls’ night, that NO ONE was allowed to criticize their own or others’ bodies (a la Mean Girls). My personal rule is to limit looking at myself in the mirror (especially those pesky floor-length ones) for more than 10 seconds at a time.

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