Hot, Holy & Humorous

A Love Letter to Yourself

Before I get to today’s post, I want to remind you that the Sexy Valentine’s Day Bundle is on sale only through tomorrow, February 14. The bundle includes four resources on sexual intimacy marriage, including my book Sex Savvy, for only $10.00. Click on the picture below and buy now!

Sexy Valentine's Day Bundle

Speaking of Valentine’s, I went all out this year, with three whole posts on the subject: Does He Just Want Sex for Valentine’s Day?; 13 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts from Your Grocery Store; and 7 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts You Can Make. Which is particularly interesting since my husband and I will likely trade greeting cards tomorrow and call it a day.

I’m personally not that enamored with official holidays generally, although I do believe opportunities to show love to your beloved are important. So it’s good to have a specific day to remind us of romantic love.

But some of you won’t get a Valentine’s gift. Or maybe you will, but you’re struggling in your marriage so it doesn’t mean what you wish it did. Maybe you’ve been reading the posts of others planning big things for Valentine’s, and you’re just a bit jealous. (I remember feeling that way when my marriage was a mess.) Or perhaps — like me yesterday — you’ve just had a bad day and could use a little extra lovin’.

How about writing a love letter to yourself? Here’s mine.

Woman with valentine
Microsoft Word clip art

Dear Beautiful,

I know you don’t always feel beautiful. You look in the mirror and you see the things you wish were different — the crookedness of your nose, the few extra pounds added in the last few years, the stark-white-flesh of your legs, or the wrinkles cropping up here, there, and everywhere. But remember that God carefully knit you together (Psalm 139:13) and has made you to be His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).

Your nose can smell a bouquet of roses and a loaf of baked bread and the fresh scent of a baby. Your extra pounds are reminders of the children who grew inside you and the bounty of your table. Your legs can walk and leap and dance. Your wrinkles are best seen in your brow where you’ve worried for your dear family and your smile where laughter has etched its mark on your face.

Besides, where you see flaws, there is beauty (Song of Songs 4:7). Where you see weakness, there is strength (2 Corinthians 12:10). Where you see trash, there is treasure (Deuteronomy 26:18). And your value is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10).

Just look down at your feet and then up at the sky. Can you measure the distance between the earth and the heavens? And yet that’s how much you are loved (Psalm 103:11). It’s nearly impossible to grasp just how wide and long and high and deep you are loved (Ephesians 3:18). But try to grasp it anyway! You. Are. Loved.

Indeed, you are the great delight of your Heavenly Father. He wants to serenade you (Zephaniah 3:17). Who needs Michael Bublé songs when you can have that?

Even on those days when you feel alone, remember you’re not (Matthew 28:20). Whether anyone ever gave you another Valentine, birthday gift, or Groundhog Day card, you’d still be precious and loved (Isaiah 43:4). And whatever you go through, Someone who loves you is walking beside you, making sure you get through it all (Isaiah 43:2).

And you’re worth it. Not because you’re so very worthy in particular, but because you are drop-dead gorgeous in the eyes of your Creator. Beautiful outside and inside (1 Peter 3:4). 

Worth a dozen roses or the big box of chocolates or a night on the town. 

You’re beloved. So . . . be loved. Feel it. Know it. Live it.

See yourself as God sees you. Because today, and every day, you are His Valentine.

With love,


Many blessings to you and your marriage. Now I’d better go write a love letter to my beloved husband on this greeting card . . . 

10 thoughts on “A Love Letter to Yourself”

  1. J ! What an awesome letter- many times we can get so focused on how to love our mates the right way that we forget to love ourselves. But the bible says to love our neighbor as ourselves and thus, if we don’t love who WE are, it will be impossible to truly love or receive love from others. Thanks for those scriptures, I’m about to go read them all right now! Also, thank you for your awesome blog, I’m 24 and have been saving myself for marriage and will be marrying an awesome, godly man on March 29th of this year….So excited but quite nervous about my lack of experience-your insight and advice are invaluable. May God strengthen and encourage and increase you, in Jesus’ name!!!!

  2. This is so encouraging! I am married (over 10 years now!) to my high school sweetheart. We had four kids (all boys) by the time we were 28. It’s an incredibly blessed life we have, but sometimes I get too ‘down’ because of unrealistic un-achieved goals. I’m an active and healthy mom, but my hubby is a SWAT cop and in ridiculously great shape. He’s amazing, loves me so much and shows it, but some days I just feel ‘beneath’ him – no pun intended! 😉 This post was very up-building. Thanks!

    1. Hi Busy Mom,
      I just wanted to say hi and connect! I am also married to my high school sweetheart and we have just recently welcomed Baby #4 (two girls and 2 boys) into our home. I am 25 and he is just about to turn 26. We are coming up on 6 years married come May. This wasn’t quite what we had in mind, but God had greater plans. Some days it can be hard to understand and accept as we struggle to get him through college(babies were supposed to come AFTER that) and make ends meet and take care of all these little ones. I too struggle feeling like my husband deserves more and I have changed SO much in our short years together while he is still just as hot and hunky as the day we said I do. Anyway, just wanted to shout out and say hey, I get it!! We aren’t alone.

  3. Pingback: 20 Ways to Make Your Valentines Weekend Hot, Hot, HOT! | Becoming His Eve

  4. I needed this today, J. Thank you! Thank you so stinkin’ much. God. Loves. Me. …and my man does, too… I was being whiny. 🙂

  5. Hi J,

    I would normally go ahead and agree with you on the ‘not that enamored with official holidays’ thing…but then my boyfriend surprised me by showing up on Valentine’s Day and proposing. So…that kind of went out the window 😉 Thanks for all the godly advice and wisdom you share here–I will definitely be looking up your archives in the months to come!

    Blessings on you and your ministry 🙂

    1. Woot! Woot! Everyone congratulate Happy Gal on her brand-new engagement! 🙂

      Many blessings for your marriage. May God hold you close in His arms and close to one another.

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